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Kim
 
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Hygiene 101

23 November 2012, 10:46
In the past three weeks we have all been subjected to our fellow user Maureen Dent’s theories around personal hygiene. So, on this fine summer’s morning I thought I’d take the time out to respond to Maureen with what my views on some of the issues are (before going to lather myself in perfumed soap and much needed hair dye, of course). If it is okay to publicly knock wiping one’s bum, surely it’s okay for me to express my counter argument. I know Maureen and I have had our problems, so I will endeavour to keep this one neat and tidy.

Body hair removal 

Contrary to Maureen’s comment that shaving one’s body hair as a woman is a mere result of us bowing down to social conformism and wanting to please the male species; let me point out that the removal of body hair goes as far back as Ancient Egypt (for ladies and gents nogal!) 

Now the last time I checked most of these blood-sucking corporate giants who are out to con us with their crafty propaganda were not around while Cleopatra was painstakingly grooming her hairy bits with Beeswax. Unless, of course, old Moses was moonlighting for an organisation whose slogans went along the lines of ‘Making parting those pubes even easier than when Moses parted that sea’ or ‘There’ll be no bush for those locusts to nest in this summer’.

 What these organisations offer us today is nothing more or different to what our bread manufacturers or retail outlets offer us. An easier way of getting things done. We live in an age of convenience and if someone is going to offer me the benefits of smoother legs in 5 minutes as opposed to me going to tackle a swarm of bees, I’ll take the opportunity.

 Unless, Maureen, you slave over a hot oven baking breads and harvesting your own food, I’m not sure how you are not feeding one or other corporate giant. 

 Soap


Another interesting statement was that washing one’s body with hot water alone would eradicate bacteria and odour. Maureen, simple Biology lesson here, sweetheart. Bacteria die when water is at a temperature of 100 degrees Celsius or above; water also boils at 100 degrees Celsius. Conclusion – in order for your theory to be correct, we would have to bathe in water with a temperature that would burn the first layer of our skin.

 Now, I know you’re a bit odd, but you can’t honestly tell me that you do that? Get some soap, bacteria causes infections and diseases and not to mention foul odours.

 Toilet Paper

 I can’t comment on this, why? Because you’ve stumped me by suggesting that the right diet might enable me to never wipe my bum again. I like wiping my bum, I feel clean and my undies have no skid marks. I don’t want to lose my toilet paper! I wont! You can’t make me and heaven forbid people actually follow this heinous advice.

 E.Coli kids, E.coli. Just as bad as doing drugs me thinks. Say NO!

 In summation, Maureen, you’re not exactly changing mind-sets or selling your ideas very well, in fact most of the readers have labelled you a troll. Why do you keep coming back for further public lambasting?

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