PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
Tyronehster
 
Comments: 14
Article views: 382
 
 
Latest Badges:



 
View all Tyronehster's badges.
 

Hygiene 102

26 November 2012, 16:01

Th’ weather wus real nice, whut with th’ summer almost gone an’ the June bugs makin’ their way down t’ Mexico. Yup, fall wus on th’ way. Abner an’ Buford wus jes’ settin’ on a rock, alookin’ at th’ countryside, an’ she sure wus purty. Ever’thang wus still green, and it wus warm, but not sticky hot.

They heard a rustlin’ in th’ grass an Hiram happened along. He bin out  here a while now, so he din’ need no shoes no more. ‘Mind if’n I join you boys?’

‘Grab y’self a rock, Hiram,’ said Abner, a’ways takin’ th’ lead. Hiram pulled hisself up onto this big ol’ rock and lay back, lookin’ up at the sky with them big puffy clouds.

‘Whut’s doin,’ boys?’ asked Hiram.

‘Nuthin’ much. We’all jest enjoyin’ thisyere weather.’

Hiram nodded at that. It shore wus pleasant.

‘Mary Ellen jes’ come back fum the big city, an’ got herself some mighty strange ideas.’

Abner looked roun’ at him. ‘Whut sorta strange ideas?’

‘She come here all high ‘n mighty, thankin’ she’s better than other folks, smellin’ like I don’ know whut, but it shore set the houn’s t’ howlin!’

‘Y’mean she stanks?!'

‘I don’ rightly know: them big city wimmen, they like t’ put on that there smelly stuff, cause they think it smells good, but I ain’t so shore.’ Hiram sighed, real deep. ‘I kin tell you boys, I don’ miss the big city none!’

‘Soun’s t’me like the big city ain’t no place f’ folks like us,’ said Abner.

‘Shore ain’t,’ said Hiram. ‘Y’know whut theseyere big city wimmen do? They shave!’

‘Ah kin unnerstan’ that,’ said Buford. ‘My grammaw had a powerful red beard, an’ she used t’ shave it on special occasions, like weddin’s and sechlike.’

‘No, I ain’t talkin’ ‘bout beards; they’re shavin’ their laigs an unner their arms and even some a them, their bits.’

Buford, I tol’ you he had big eyes, but his eyes looked like they wus bigger’n saucers when he heard that. ‘What in tarnation would a body wanna do sumpin’ like that for?’

‘They thank it’s more hygienic,’ said Hiram.

‘How in tarnation can it be hygienic t’ shave yore bits?’

‘They say things get stuck in that there hair, an’ it ain’t right, cause it can git real dirty down there,’ said Hiram.

‘I don’ rightly see how,’ said Abner, who din’ wanna be kep’ outa  any conversation too long. ‘Oncet a week, my maw takes a pair a scissors to my paws behind an’ snips off all the dangly bits, an’ he done the same f’ her. It can get clogged up sumpin’ fierce down there ifn you don’ do reg’lar groomin.’

Buford piped up hisself now. ‘Sally done trims her underarm hair b’fore the hootenanny! She says when she wears thet purty pink dress, the hair hangs down too far.’

Abner sniffed at that. ‘She a’ways wus fulla airs an’ graces, thet one!’

‘I thank she’s purty!’ pouted Buford.

‘I din’ say she wusn’ purty,’said Abner. ‘I said she’s got ideas above her station, tha’s all. Th’ other girls look jest as purty, but they don’ thank they gotta cut that hair that God gave ‘em!’

‘Whut I cain’t unnerstan’,’said Buford. ‘Is why a body would go to so much trouble to put on smellin’ stuff. Specially ifn it makes the hounds nervous.’

‘Well,’ said Hiram, his college eddication showin’ agin. ‘These big city folks thank a bit o’ honest sweat ain’t right, but you gotta smell like a garden, even ifn you don’ work in one.’

‘Don’ make no sense,’ said Abner. ‘What in tarnation is a body supposed t’ smell like? I thank the smell o’ carbolic soap is real good, long as you don’ use it too often.’

‘How in hell you ever gonna catch sumpin if you smell like flowers an’ sech. Ifn you smell natural, them critters cain’t pick up yore scent. Tha’s probly why the houn’s started howlin’ when they smelt Mary Ellen.’

‘Jest ain’t right,’ said Buford. ‘It jest ain’t.’

‘Some a them big city wimmen don’ go with all that malarkey,’ said Hiram. ‘Why there’s this one woman, kin use a computer an’ all, she don’ do none a that stuff.’

‘Well,’ said Abner. ‘She should come down here, she’d feel right at home.’

'Yep,’ said Buford, ‘She shore would.’

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
14 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Niekie van Heerden
Ubuntu - What Ubuntu?

Reading how the ANC government spends money on housing, travel, security and food, while there are millions of people, that voted them into power, who go hungry every day, makes me sick! Read more...

0 comments 0 views
Submitted by
Lee Grandmaison
What is love? Baby don't hurt me...

A simple word, it has so many different meanings, many of which are very, very 'deep,' to so many different people. Read more...

0 comments 0 views
Submitted by
b.agnostic
16 Days of Activism – A Travesty

Roughly 4 % of the year we try not to be too mean to the two most beautiful things on earth. Read more...

3 comments 307 views
Submitted by
Rochelle Sastri
Where have we failed?

In a few days, the 16 days of activism against women and child abuse starts. Read more...

4 comments 158 views
Submitted by
atheitisgodfrey
What colour of car do you drive?

Black or white? Google is my friend and I found that some interesting research has been done into this issue. Read more...

23 comments 1512 views
Submitted by
hzcummi
The Truth of Genesis: The Sad Tr...

This is the second chapter of six of the series. In Genesis chapter ten, just as Ham failed to instruct Canaan, Cush failed to instruct Nimrod, who ended up wanting other men to worship him as a god. Read more...

69 comments 2273 views

Jobs in Cape Town [change area]

Property [change area]

Travel - Look, Book, Go!

Magical Massinga

Spend 5 nights at the gorgeous Massinga Beach Lodge in Mozambique and only pay for 4 from R13 220 per person sharing. Includes return flights, accommodation, transfers and romantic turndown. Book now!

Kalahari.com - shop online today

Festive gifts!

Check out our awesome range of festive gifts to make everyone’s wishes come true. Shop now!

Seen something you like in our catalogue?

Find the perfect gift and save up to R5000 – As seen on the catalogue. Hurry and shop now!

Save up to R2200 on electronics! – As seen in the catalogue

Wishing for tech gadgets this festive? Save up to R2100 on hot tech products at kalahari.com. While stocks last. Shop now!

Up to 35% off books

Save up to 35% on the latest page-turners. While stocks last. Shop now!

Good Morning, Mr Mandela by Zelda la Grange

Good Morning, Mr Mandela tells the extraordinary story of how a young woman had her life, beliefs, prejudices and everything she once believed in utterly transformed by the greatest man of her time. Now R221. Pre-order now!

OLX Free Classifieds [change area]

Samsung Galaxy s4

Mobile, Cell Phones in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 24

Best bargain in big bay

Real Estate, Houses - Apartments for Sale in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

VW Golf 6, 1.6 Trendline (Excellent condition)

Vehicles, Cars in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2014 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.








Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.