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Godless Heathen
 
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I am an oppressor

22 July 2014, 20:45
I am an oppressor

Being a white man it is incumbent on me to oppress my rage at some of the folly I encounter daily. This week we read  about the oppressors language. I want to discuss the oppressors language. The oppressors language is a particularly vile. 

They don't say things like "feck you, you are a deranged nutcase" Instead they will say, Sorry, were you speaking to me? You may be mistaken sir or I don't believe that. 

The oppressor has to stop him or herself from saying the things they really want to say when they come upon the stupidity that is their fellow humans default setting. The oppressor can be recognised by the flushed neck, the urgent tic on their mouth and most importantly, the polite turn of phrase. You will never hear an oppressor saying "Jou ma se groen harige .. " instead he would say jou ma se antie se pienk plestik wiel doppe.

I am an oppressor some of the time. I oppress my basic urge to wallop someone against the head daily, especially those arrogant good for nothings in their motor vehicles with tinted windows that are doing their level best to kill a biker, a cyclist or a pedestrian before breakfast. I often oppress the urge with even more meaning when said arrogant troll responds with aggression on being made aware of their bad driving habits. 

I must admit I fail at being an oppressor when said foolish driver refers to me as an arrogant white add adjective here and or being a racist when I call him on his bad manners. I fail to oppress my anger is some situations and this is the thing, the person that caused the moor meter to hit the red line always ends up feeling rather sorry for themselves. So it is a good thing that I am an oppressor.

When these fools talk about my ancestors oppressing theirs I am always in awe of their knowledge of my family. I decided to do some research on these oppressors in my family. Here is what I found, My family are on the whole blue collar stock. This means that we work wif our hands, The only people that were oppressed by may Grandpa was Grandma and she kind of deserved it being drunk half her life, My Dad tried to oppress my Ma, but she threw him out on the street so fast his head spun.

No favours

I also was advised that having someone come in and clean my house for a wage was oppressing them, so I gathered that if I had some one in my business doing the grunt work and cleaning it follows that I must be oppressing them as well. I raised the issue with my better half about us oppressing poor Nosipho and that we should liberate her. She threatened divorce if I even tried that, besides she earns more than minimum wage I was told, so I guess that makes oppression OK then I asked.

So I came to my workshop and figured that as I was oppressing Sipho by paying him minimum wage for unsatisfactory production, I would definitely Liberate him, He was to be no longer oppressed by the White man. 

You would think I was not doing the poor oppressed man any favours by letting him go. My reasons for letting him go were more than just that he was being exploited and oppressed by me, Facts are that I can't afford to continue with the exploitation, because he doesn't add enough value to the work product, You see he doesn't understand that his poor exploited behind needs to help get the work out else we don't get paid, so he should probably start his own business rather than make mine less productive.

Back to oppression of wives, My mate Buks is a tiny bloke, only 6' 3 or so, He wears a size 40 jean pants and and a size 44 lammie. He rode a big boney and was a man amongst the manne. Buksie met this beautiful petite stukkie called Katrien, Now Katrien was a fire cracker, all the ous smaaked her stukkend but she only had eyes for Buks, Katrien looked specially good on Buks' Katana. Buks asked her to marry him and she agreed. Buks was over the moon and the manne plied him with so much dop and diesel the ou had to leave his boney at the pub. He couldn't stand because he was so happy.

Any way Buks' Pa had the chat that the Pa and Ma have with the laaitie getting hitched and one of the bits of advice was that Buks needed to make sure she was under control right from the beginning cos otherwise she would ruk hand uit and make his life a misery. Buks wan't sure what Pa meant and got clarification. "Buksie, Ouboet, You must show her who wears the pants in the house and make sure she unnerstands" Oom Buks mumbled into his Brannewyn, just before Tannie Marthie came back from the Kitchen. " I unnerstand Pa" says Buksie looking at Tannie Marthie in fear.

On the wedding night everything went well and Buksie was finally alone with Katrien, He looks over at her rips off the size 40 jean pants and throws it at her. Shame on you, you thought he was going to tell her to have them washed and ironed before morning didn't you? No Buksie said to Katrientjie "try on the jean pants my blommetjie", Katrien said to him Buksie"Is you dof? They are far too big." He says" My engel, now you know who wears the pants in vis house raait?" 

Katrientjie stood for a second and then started doing a sensuous strip tease, The top got chucked in a corner, the bra in another and so the story goes. She get's to her broeks and throws them straight Buksie, who by now is so excited he can't see straight, She says "Buks my skat. why don't you try those on" He says he will never get into those, they are too small. She retorts "and if you try that kaark you just did you will never get into them." 

You get hen pecked and then you get poor Buks, He sold the boney when Katrienkie got pregnant got a real honest to goodness office job and stopped hanging with the manne, The last time I saw him he was only about 4'9 He is definitely oppressed by Katrien.

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