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I love the JMPD

10 July 2014, 09:09

One my way to work a metroplod officer and I were chasing down green lights at about 100 km/h in a 60 km/h zone to get as much of the ill-configured traffic lights green as we can.  Well at least the ones that are working.  You see traffic lights in South Africa are adjusted to obstruct traffic as much as possible in order to frustrate the road users to the point where they either speed or beat each other up with wheel spanners next to the road.

Since I am concerned about the greenness of our planet, I try to stop at as few traffic lights as possible to improve fuel consumption and limit my carbon footprint so I always try to stop at as few traffic lights as possible and the only way to do that is to maintain a higher more unreasonable average speed.  Of cause not!  I just hate it when my smooth trip is interrupted by red traffic lights especially setup to allow non-existing cars an opportunity to get to their non-existing jobs.

Anyway, I have adapted the habit of not using my indicators since nobody really cares about traffic laws and most motorists don’t know the meaning or difference between hazards and indictors.  The last time I saw a taxi use an indicator or a hazard properly was before South Africa’s first free and fair election.

Finally, both of us stopped next to each other at one of those red traffic lights which allows those mysterious non-existing vehicles an opportunity.  The traffic light is installed at one of those T-junction configurations where motorists cannot cross but only enter the road we are on.  Funny enough I have never seen a vehicle wanting to enter the road we were on from this traffic light yet one always catches it red.  Only the Johannesburg metroplods would know why.

 The metroplod officer signed to me that I should wind down my window which I did because apart from the fact that I do not give a rat’s arch about the traffic laws and the other self-righteous motorists who obstruct the traffic I am a law-abiding citizen and taxpayer. 

The metroplod said, “I see you do not use your indicators when you are driving behind me.”

I almost started laughing out loud but managed to maintain my composure. 

Here we are, chasing down green traffic lights at over a 100 km/h in a 60 km/h zone, both of us with about five or six cars in pursued and he is concerned about the fact that I am not using my indicators! 

So what do you thing, what is going to be the most efficient way to kill a pedestrian, a speeding vehicle, or a vehicle not using its indicators?

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