I had the privilege, well, we can hardly call it a privilege, to spend the day with the African National Congress. It was very boring, sad, and above all...disappointing.
Now, i didn't spend the day with Jacob Zuma, Blade Nzimande, Vavi...no...I spent the day with the organisation, in my head :D Considering such an organisation who had failed millions of people, had insurmountable amount of corruption, embodied racism and greed had considered me...god only knows. I asked them questions on the increasing poverty rate, the crime stats, the law, nepotism and the price of eggs.
It was a pretty drab process but I will tell you in great detail my interview with the ANC as an organisation. I must warn you, their answers were very straightforward.
Me: "So ANC, busy these days hey?"
ANC: "Jah, tenders aren't so easy to get these days..."
Me: "What is your opinion on the current education crisis?"
ANC: "Crisis? What crisis?"
Me: "Lets move on. The e-tolling saga, how do you respond to that?"
ANC: "Well, aih man, we told the public about these gantries long ago..."
Me: "When exactly?"
ANC: "Some time ago, people were present but the media was not allowed inside."
Me: "In regards to this, how do you think the media is portraying the ANC?"
ANC: "The media, hai, those people, they must shuddup!"
Me: "Why is that?"
ANC: "They are exposing too much man, too much."
Me: "So there are ANC secrets?"
ANC: "No, you misquoted me! I did not say that!! ARE YOU A RACIST MLUNGU!?"
Me: "No!"
ANC: "Good, we are not racist either please don't eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh misjduge us for being a racist putty!"
Me: "I didn't say anything. But that does beg the question,where are all your colored and white members?"
ANC: "Ai, see you are being racist now!"
Me: "Moving on...the corruption in the ANC...how do you respond"
ANC: "The ANC is not corrupt. People inside the ANC are corrupt but you must stop calling the ANC corrupt."
Me: *Brings evidence of corruption within the ANC
ANC: "Aih man, this is eh eh eh eh eh fabrication!"
Me: "So you deny any corruption within the ANC?"
ANC: "Why don't you ask that white madam Zille and the media about thet!?"
Me: "Why must we ask Zille and the media about corruption within the ANC?"
ANC: "They keep bringing up the subject umfun!"
Me: "So let me get this straight, if Zille and the DA as a whole and the media, did not interfere with the ANC no one would know about the corruption?"
ANC: "Yah! But dont misquote me! We did not say that!"
From this point on it was like talking to a horsefly: Buzzing and buzzing on the same sh!t but no substance. I was offered some coffee and this is where i got into trouble...
Tea server:"How do you like coffee sir?"
Me:" Black, but lots of milk thanks :)"
ANC: "Aih, what is this!?"
Me: "What?"
ANC: "See! You are jadjara racist now! Alot of WHITE milk and very little BLACK coffee! MXM!"
Me " >_<"
ANC: "Mmm...cremora..."
Me: "I have a few more questions..."
ANC: "Yah?"
Me: "Madiba."
ANC: "Who?"
Me: "Nelson?"
ANC :"ehh..."
Me: "Tata?"
ANC: 'Oh, that old man in Houghtan?"
Me: "Yes, how do you as an organisation feel in regards to his legacy of the party? He faught for freedom, democracy and equality for all. Now his party is a shell of what is used to be. A corrupt monster. A greedy fatcat with an insatiable appetite for nepotism and broken promises! How do you respond to that?"
ANC: "The ANC neh, is still the ANC the people vote for neh. If they vote for a putty that is bed, then that is the putty they will get. We dont force them to vote foh us neh"
Me: "Well what about the people still living in poverty?"
ANC: "What about them? They been voting for us for 18 yez and they dont notice something is wrong? Hahaha!"
At this point he just carried on laughing until his blackberry wrang, i think it was Julius but i couldnt tell.
ANC: "We must leave this now, are we done!"
Me: "One more question"
ANC: "Jah!"
The tea servant comes and takes my coffee away and then i ask:
Me:" Do you care about the poor, at all?"
He turns around and says:
ANC: "Do bears smoke cigarz?"and then he leaves.
Me: "Guess that answered my question".
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