PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
MerryMartin
 
Comments: 203
Article views: 2604
 
 
Latest Badges:


 
View all MerryMartin's badges.
 

I stand rebuked...

17 May 2013, 12:20

If you have left your sense of humour at home, or are thin-skinned, then please do not read any further… I have no wish to offend anyone. (Annoy some, yes, if I am to be truthful, but not offend.)

I have been soundly rebuked for not being sufficiently Christian. I stand before you, hanging my head in shame… Oh dear.

It has been noted that I fail to chastise those who make derogatory remarks about God, Jesus and Christianity. I am told that I am supposed to immediately rebuke all and sundry. With Christian love, of course.

 So, chaps, I say this (with love, you understand):

 Bad atheists! Naughty atheists! Stop it at once! You have all quite clearly failed to understand what you were reading, and therefore should not be making comments from such ignorance. It is upsetting people. Cease! Desist! Forthwith! (And third-and-fifth-with too.)

I find this rebuking business quite confusing. On the one hand, I am told that I am not a Christian, on the other hand I am told that “my fellow Christians” must, in terms of Biblical instruction, rebuke  and correct me when I am wrong and not being a good Christian. So which is it? Am I, or am I not?  I do wish they would make up their collective minds on this issue – it would make my life so much more tranquil. (Oh dear, now I sound like I am being a victim. Ah well, so be it, victim I shall be.)

I have been severely reprimanded for stating that atheists are not Satanists. The reasoning behind this is apparently that Satanists oppose Christianity, and atheists oppose Christianity, ergo, all atheists are Satanists. (No-one has quite said whether the opposite is also true – are all Satanists then atheists?)  The fact that atheists do not believe in Satan, and are therefore quite unable to be Satanists, seems to have escaped some of us. None-the-less, I will consider myself as having been reprimanded.

Another issue over which I have apparently transgressed relates to wishing well to those who have lost their faith (careless atheists, losing things like that!). I am not supposed to wish anyone well who has chosen a different path to that of Christianity. I am apparently supposed to immediately don sack-cloth and ashes, and weep for your loss and ultimate transference to the fiery pits of Hell. I would do this, gladly, if I actually believed that there is such a thing as hell. But I don’t. So I can’t. My bad.

I received a harsh scolding or two for never praising a Christian article. My protestations that I do (and will continue to do so) give praise where I consider it is due went unheeded. Clearly, I am not vocal enough in my support, so I will henceforth be joining the gleeful ones in rejoicing about the imminent end of the world, and the mass atheist exodus to fiery pits…. Oh wait, no, I can’t do that – I don’t believe in the fiery pits. My bad.

Now, atheists – listen up. I have received numerous admonishments about praising your articles. Please stop writing anything that even remotely makes sense – and no, it doesn’t matter what the subject may be. Please, no more informative scientific articles, no more hauntingly beautiful musings on nature, please, do not even write about your dogs and cats.  Any more articles from you lot and I will assume that you are now just deliberately trying to get me into trouble.

And another thing, atheists – stop putting links to those “imgur” thingies. Some of them make me laugh, and I don’t think I am supposed to find them funny. (Henry, did you get that?) And no more wise-cracking comments either – those make me actually laugh OUT LOUD. I am quite sure that would be frowned upon. (Charles EvenDumber, Coenraad, etc, are you listening?)

Now I must, painful as it is, address Mememan. Please change your name. Immediately. Yes, I know you were here before me, but Lyle, in particular, has picked up that we have the same initials, and has thus decided we are us, or is that us are we? No, I mean that you are me. No, I mean that I am you. Whatever! But as Merry is actually my name, and I am sure that your Mom did not christen you Meme, you must change your name. Please.  You are confusing people, and that is not acceptable to some. Change your name to something more appropriate like, oh, I don’t know, perhaps “The Horned One”, or “Eater of Babies”, or something.

Now, as this has so far been somewhat one-sided, what with all the rebuking, reproving and lecturing of the atheists, it is only fair that I address some of my fellow Christians… And for this, I will take my tongue out of my cheek.

I thank you for your concerns for my soul, for your trepidation about my ultimate fate, and for your loving cautions about my comments on this forum. As you can see, I have taken your warnings to heart.

I have considered all the charges you have put to me.

I understand that, in your collective opinion, I have erred.

It is clear, given that I apparently make comments that “place reasonable doubt on other Christian comments”, that I make you somewhat uneasy.

I am sorry you feel that way. I am sorry that I appear to be a thorn in your side. I am sorry that I am  insufficiently Christian for you. At the risk of “playing the victim” (again), I would however ask you to remember that I tend to refer to myself as a believer in God – I have stated openly that I hesitate to use the term Christian, as my beliefs are clearly not the same as the Christian norms.

So, before I get yet another batch of invective in my FB inbox from the chief spokesperson, let me assure you all of this:

You need have no fear for my soul – it is safe in God’s hands.

And as the safety of my soul should, as Christians, be your only concern for me, or for anyone else, I will leave it at that.

Peanut butter (and Jam), Pap and Braaivleis, and most of all,

Peace and blessings.

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
203 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Lion87
I Believe in Santa

Santa provides so much wonder and awe to millions of kids around the world Read more...

15 comments 181 views
Submitted by
Lindi Gross
On the subject of theft

In another vein - this is about petty thievery from homes. It is rife in the suburbs and although the Police are prompt and attentive - nothing is ever recovered.  Read more...

5 comments 920 views
Submitted by
Scooterza
The Sexless Marriage/Relationship

This is a hot topic at the moment with the recent survey saying SA men get nookie on average 52 times a year and the story of the husband who emailed his wife a list of excuses she gave for not engaging in sex.  Read more...

20 comments 1611 views
Submitted by
Jim Dickson
Violations Processing Centre

I find it very interesting, having moved to Cape Town, not just to avoid E-Tolls, that when I received my first ever E-Toll bill it is issued by the “Violations Processing Centre”. Read more...

8 comments 389 views
Submitted by
Godless Heathen
If you are calling for the death ...

We always get told that Bantu education was a sorry mess and the poor oppressed previously have nots were seriously disadvantaged by the system.  Read more...

58 comments 1926 views
Submitted by
jeremy thorpe
"Train" yourself to avoid e-tolls...

My journey to work now involves a trip on the Gautrain from Rosebank to Pretoria, followed by a brief 12 minute trip on Metrorail from Pretoria station to my place of work. Read more...

17 comments 1976 views

Jobs in Cape Town [change area]

Property [change area]

Travel - Look, Book, Go!

Magical Massinga

Spend 5 nights at the gorgeous Massinga Beach Lodge in Mozambique and only pay for 4 from R13 220 per person sharing. Includes return flights, accommodation, transfers and romantic turndown. Book now!

Kalahari.com - shop online today

2 TV Series for R250

Get 2 TV Series box sets for R250 and save up to R148! Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

Pre-order the Xbox One

Get this all-in-one entertainment system with live TV, movies, social networking and gaming. Pre-order now!

Up to 50% off hair care products!

Save up to 50% on professional hair care products at kalahari.com. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

30% off academic books

Score a mind blowing 30% off academic books! Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

Mind blowing deals on electronics!

Save up to 35% on electronics. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

OLX Free Classifieds [change area]

Samsung Galaxy s4

Mobile, Cell Phones in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 24

Best bargain in big bay

Real Estate, Houses - Apartments for Sale in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

VW Golf 6, 1.6 Trendline (Excellent condition)

Vehicles, Cars in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2014 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.








Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.