At this point and time in my life I find myself questioning "things" / beliefs a lot more than usual. I suppose some of the questions are the same that every other person has at a stage in their life, questions such as "What am I doing with my life?" "What is the greater purpose of me being here?" "Who am I really?", and other such questions.
I am 29 years into my journey of discovery and learning and have now come to a point where I am asking the question of "Is my God that I worship real?" I come from a family of devout believers, I have myself grown up in the church (NG), experienced "The Message" in various forms from other churches. I have been exposed to many individuals point of view and I find these very interesting as well as unfortunate.
You see, the reason I say unfortunate is because "your story" you tell my most of the times is a watered down bucket of breaths that spill over me and has no impact what so ever. I kid you not. I am surprised that I have been able to hold onto my faith for as long as I have having to listen, and then observe the behavior of other "Christians". Now I know that we are all human, and we make mistakes and bla bla bla, and yes, I make them too. In fact, I have made many. I think what I am saying is that I wish that people could be real with themselves at times.
What I would also like to say is that I wish that "God", or whatever "He" may be (or they?) could communicate with me, today. The Bible is still seen as the guideline of how to have a perfect relationship with God....2000 years ago. Is it then still practical to follow the wisdom and ways of those men and children today? In some cases, "God" spoke to these men and woman...IN A CLEAR AND AUDIBLE VOICE! Why does this not happen today? Or does it and am I completely blind to "His" voice?
I long to hear it after all these years of following, devoutly giving my time, my money, my energy...and now, now I am tired. And still looking for an answer. I do not wish for a million comments on this piece, it is merely half a rambling to what is truly going on inside my mind. If you have had a similar time in your life, please share it, I would read it attentively to see where you ended up? Did you hear the "Voice" speaking? Could you ask "Him / Her" how it was at the beginning? Where next you had to go? What you were created for? And if so, How did you get your answer? I am keen, as always, to learn something new (however, corrections on my grammar by the Nazi's merely reading these sections to provide us with English 101 lessons will be frowned upon, I am trained in using the force - Dark side).
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