PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
Irukandji
 
Comments: 16
Article views: 3698
 
 
Latest Badges:



 
View all Irukandji's badges.
 

I’m not married anymore two

03 November 2012, 18:58

Being single and desperately trying to get married (again), I did some research on the *Department of Home Affairs’ (DHA) website regarding the rules and regulations of this, the second oldest, game in town.

Much to my dismay, I found that getting married is not easy – bringing to mind the old Afrikaans saying: **“Trou is nie perde koop nie.”

It’s very much like learning to play chess, you see. Marriage, like chess, consists of an Opening, a Middle Game, and an Endgame. Unfortunately, according to the DHA records, I went straight from the Middle Game to the No Game.

If you thought that getting married consisted of simply getting dressed in a leopard skin, tying hundreds of dead cattails around the bulge where your waistline used to be, putting an O-ring around your shiny head and wearing “duck glasses” and white takkies – and then, shaking your “spear” at the female wedding guests while singing “umshini wam, bam, thank you, ma’am” – think again.

It only comes with practice – after the seventh or eighth wife – and sixty-three children notched up on the shaft of your controversial spear.

For us mere mortals (read taxpayers), who cannot even afford one wife at a time, knowing the rules, is crucial.

So here, in short, are some of them:

 Prohibited Marriages

Men: The law states that you may not marry these people:

The obvious ones: Mother, daughter, sister, etc.

But then it becomes scary:

Father’s mother, mother’s mother, son’s daughter, wife’s mother, father’s wife, father’s father’s wife, mother’s father’s wife, sister’s son’s daughter, etc, etc.

Why “scary?”

Think of this guys: If you should ignore these prohibitions, and for instance, marry your father’s mother. Your father then becomes your brother as well as your son; your brother becomes your grandson, and Bob’s your uncle – so to speak.

But even worse: If you marry your mother’s father’s wife; your grandfather will become your brother, your wife will become your daughter, and your father will give you a good hiding for confusing the family tree.

I got this from the DHA website:

“Verifying your marital status

Due to the large number of fraudulent marriages reported to the Department of Home Affairs every year, a facility has been created for you to check your marital status at any time. You will need your South African ID number in order to use this facility.

You can also sms the letter M followed by your ID number (example: M5001010050080) to 32551 A reply sms will be sent back to your cellphone to confirm your marital status and the date of your marriage. The sms’s cost R10 each and will be charged by your network service provider.”

In all seriousness folks, go to the DHA website and check on your marital status. I did – and found that I am “SINGLE” again, without getting divorced from my “wife.”

Isn’t technology wonderful? It didn’t cost me a cent.

The only problem is that, because I’m single – with two children (out of wedlock) by my “wife,” they are now considered to be ***illiterate in the eyes of the DHA. I feel that I have brought shame upon the family.

*Department of Home Affairs - http://www.home-affairs.gov.za/

**“Trou is nie perde koop nie.” – From the Latin: “Timeo Danaos et dona ferentes,” meaning: “Beware of Zulus bearing gifts.”

***illiterate – According to Census 2011, many illiterate children cannot read. Or write.

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

 

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
16 comments
Comments have been closed for this article.

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
ohomen171
Angola: Follow The Leader

Angolans go to the polls Wednesday to elect their next president and parliament. But what they are actually doing is writing a new chapter in the history of their young country. Read more...

0 comments 175 views
Submitted by
Solomon Mathebula
Zim first lady receives diplomati...

It is essential to understand the roles and responsibilities hold by the department of international relations and cooperation towards preserving the status quo of the democratic South Africa on international matters and conflicts. Read more...

0 comments 567 views
Submitted by
Thandisizwe Mgudlwa
Sacko showing commitment on food ...

Food production and its availability for everyone is always a hot topic anywhere in the world.  Read more...

0 comments 47 views
Submitted by
Aye'Dom Okoliko
Nigeria in the light of Buhari’s ...

"Once social change begins, it cannot be reversed. You cannot un-educate [sic] the person who has learned to read. You cannot humiliate the person who feels pride. You cannot oppress the people who are not afraid anymore. We have seen the future, and the future is ours." Read more...

0 comments 200 views
Submitted by
TiisetsoMakhele
South Africa needs a second peopl...

A revolution is commonly defined as a fundamental change of a government or social order to a new system. Unlike reform, which refers to quantitative changes to certain, often external aspects of the system, revolution relates to a change of the entire system. Read more...

0 comments 569 views
Submitted by
Roxy Belara
Security and Poverty in South Afr...

In 2016 alone there was a total of 543524 property related crimes according to crimstatssa.com. These include theft of motor vehicle, burglary at non-residential and residential premises.  Read more...

0 comments 231 views
 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on Android Get the latest from News24 on your Android device.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

TV Get us in your home, on your television.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2017 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.




Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.