PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
Trishpp
 
Comments: 12
Article views: 1
 
 
Latest Badges:


 
View all Trishpp's badges.
 

In our day we didn't have abuse .... it was "just fooling around"

08 February 2013, 15:03
These were the words of a 2nd World War Veteran that I read in a novel a few days ago. They had a profound effect on me.
Today is my birthday, 8 February 2013. I am 58 years old. I am of that “fooling about” era.

Radio 702 is sounding a horrific bleep every 4 minutes to signify the moment that a woman is raped in South Africa. 
One in three women in South Africa will be raped at sometime during their life. This means that one third of women have the badge already ......  or will do before they die.

In those days “fooling around” was acceptable and accepted by polite society. This attitude is why so many people are only speaking about their abuse many years later.

It is precisely because of this veil of secrecy that this abuse has been allowed to continue unabated. 
When you are abused it destroys your life and those around you.

You may not become an abuser yourself but you accept abuse as the norm and frequently cover it up to protect those that you love.

You allow people to walk over you, bully you; hurt you; manipulate you whether it is at home, at school, at church or in the workplace. You have no sense of self worth. “If I let someone have their way with me, they are paying me attention and they must therefore like me.” There are no boundaries.

 In South Africa it is so easy to blame culture, drugs, alcohol, unemployment, apartheid etc for our horrific crime and abuse statistics. Yet the same abuse has been going for generations in “nice middle and upper class” families, the church; our schools whether elite or state.

The more money you have, the harder you have to work at covering it up to maintain your place in society.  You also have the means to make "the problem" go away.

Women being the “fairer (weaker) sex” get most publicity especially when the abuse is sexual. Boys and Men are also sexually abused and it is no less difficult for them. It is so often their role models who let them down.

What about all the other forms of abuse that each of us (yes me included) is guilty of?• We smack our children to teach them a lesson. What lesson? That they must not hurt others???• We humiliate our spouses by belittling them. What is the message we are sending to our children?• Principals and Teachers who allow bullying and encourage initiation by seniors to keep the younger children in line.• Principals and Teachers who still use corporate punishment or humiliation as a way of regulating behaviour.• We judge others and make assumptions without knowing the background. Our religion or beliefs supposedly gives us this right.• We treat our staff and fellow workers with disrespect. • We drink and drive and endanger our own lives and those of others.• We tacitly support corruption when we turn a blind eye.

They say sticks and stones may break your bones and words may never harm. What a load of hogwash! 
Internal scars never heal.

So what is my birthday wish?

My wish is that every single person who reads this article makes a commitment to re-evaluating how they treat loved ones, friends and strangers.

This is not about women and children. 

What legacy do you want to leave?

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
12 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Secundum adDeus
Evolution’s beautiful God

Most people trained in science that I have come across are deeply respectful of spirituality and are often individuals who find strength in the presence of God in our day to day lives. Read more...

35 comments 388 views
Submitted by
Cynical Heathen
Our very Earthly trial

If the religious had their way, we'd all be indoctrinated into worshipping away our very existence.  Read more...

10 comments 127 views
South African rappers

You have to pay R50.00 to take a picture with Reason or Proverb, so I thought to just leave the mini concert that they held in our school. Read more...

3 comments 107 views
Submitted by
Jessica Watt
The Illuminati..likely

My friends and I were talking about GMO’s and what they mean/have meant/ will mean for us as humans. Read more...

33 comments 979 views
Submitted by
Thomas Freeman
Calling all Christians - do you e...

Calling all Christians - do you ever question what you believe and why you believe it?  Read more...

81 comments 583 views
Submitted by
SharksterII
The question of Obedience... for ...

I often wonder where people will say "No" In a thread on facebook... I asked a question and the answered scared me... Read more...

9 comments 251 views

Jobs in Cape Town [change area]

Property [change area]

Travel - Look, Book, Go!

Magical Massinga

Spend 5 nights at the gorgeous Massinga Beach Lodge in Mozambique and only pay for 4 from R13 220 per person sharing. Includes return flights, accommodation, transfers and romantic turndown. Book now!

Kalahari.com - shop online today

Save up to R1000 on Hisense smartphones!

View the large range of Hisense smartphones. Buy today and save up to R1000!

Deal of the week!

Save R1200 on the Samsung 48” smart full HD LED television now only R8799. Buy now!

Toys 4 for the price of 3

Buy 4 toys and get the cheapest FREE! Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

Mind blowing prices – As seen on TV

Get mind blowing prices on 1000’s of products! Shop now.

Save 20% on Nivea beauty products!

Buy any two Nivea beauty products and save 20%. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

OLX Free Classifieds [change area]

Samsung Galaxy s4

Mobile, Cell Phones in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 24

Best bargain in big bay

Real Estate, Houses - Apartments for Sale in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

VW Golf 6, 1.6 Trendline (Excellent condition)

Vehicles, Cars in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2014 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.








Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.