The angel, Gabriel came to God and said: “I have to talk to you urgently”. We have some Indians up here in heaven and they are causing problems.
They are swinging on the pearly gates, my horn is missing, they are wearing Dolce and Gabana sarees instead of their white robes, they are driving Rolls Royce, Mercedes, Volvos and BMWs, instead of the chariots, and they are selling their halos to people for discounted prices. You should know that no other nationality can beat Indians in bargaining.
They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clear or clean, since they keep crouching down midway eating samosas and drinking tea. Indians thrive on street food and they don’t get sick. Some of them are even walking around with just one wing. They do not believe in discipline and push their way through the line.' No matter how highly educated, when an Indian get very angry, they switch to highly effective, swear words in their mother tongue.
God said Indians are Indians. Heaven is home to all my children. If you want to know about real problems, give Satan a call who is a member of the African National Congress membership card and always dressed in a black, green and gold outfit. Satan answered the phone, ‘Hello? Damn, hold on a minute.' Satan returned to the phone, 'OK I am back. What can I do for you?'
Gabriel replied, 'I just wanted to know what kind of problems you are having down there.’ Satan says, 'Hold on again. I need to check on something.'
After about five minutes Satan returns to the phone and said, 'I am back. Now what was the question?’ Gabriel said, 'What kind of problems are you having down there?' Satan says, 'Man I don't believe this, hold on.'
This time Satan was gone at least 15 minutes. He returned and said, "I am sorry Gabriel, I can't talk right now. These Indians are trying to install air conditioning and making Hell a comfortable place to live in by putting out the fire, which is there to keep them uncomfortably hot. Since they are so tech savvy, they were trying to start a telephone and IT connection between heaven and hell between ME and GOD. They have started a social network service for the troubled and believe in Karma and are good in convincing others.
Some were trying to start Shebeens, Spaza Shops, corner tea rooms selling pancakes and samosa, barfi, which I had to stop. Some are even selling fake name brand clothing, pirated DVDs and even selling “Showerhead” brand name condoms with Jacob Zuma’s face on it and I suspect that Mac Maharaj is the supplier.
The Indian have no trouble living in dirt as they are so used to it down on earth. We have shortage of toilets to make them uncomfortable as this is Hell, but they have no problems in doing everything outside in open. Indians only go on cleaning sprees only during Diwali/Christmas or when they have guests coming over.
Indians are excellent in corrupting everyone and my staffs are being bribed by them and I have difficulty in controlling the graft and corruption in Hell. Hell is now becoming like South Africa. You know South Africa is the most corrupted country on earth, where the Indians like the Schabir Schaik, the Guptas have just corrupted the African National Congress Party to such extent that they can never be rehabilitated.
Gabriel goes back to and says, these ignorant and arrogant Indians never complain as this place seems to be better from where they came and do as they please and have no consideration for the rule of law up here. I am having such a hard time controlling and dealing with them!! I am therefore requesting you, Oh God, please send the Indians back to earth as soon as they arrive for re-birth.
So this is why Indians are the only ones that are reborn.