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Heiné de Waal
 
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Is fear a choice?

02 June 2014, 20:00

Watching the Oscar Pistorius trial, once again I became aware of how much we, as South Africans, are being exposed to violence. This creates fear among us, sometimes irrational fear. Are we victims to this or do we actually have a choice?

I know that the world seems at times to be in a total state of chaos. This is then compacted by the speed of information coming at us, hence us feeling just more overwhelmed. Globally, many people are feeling anxious or depressed. Very few are content. What is happening to us?

I believe that we are being “invited” to grow spiritually by accepting that we are not separate from each other, but that we are in a way all connected. Maybe we are from different cultures, have different physical features and have very unique personalities, but in essence we still have the same basic needs and desires.

However, the ego does a brilliant job to make us feel separated from one another, while our souls are always united. This new awakening is unknown territory for many and causes a lot of fear amongst people. We can easily become anxious or depressed when we feel that we do not have control over the cause of our stress; even more so when the cause of stress is repeated and unpredictable in showing up.

How can we change this?

First we need to acknowledge what we fear and then explore what the cause might be behind our fears?

We are constantly being bombarded in the media with news about tragic events and even about what could happen to us if we are not prepared. Some organisations are even trying to sell us some kind of insurance to keep us safe and well.

We are being programmed by the modern world to be fearful. Fearful people are weak and can easily be controlled by certain powers of being. It works best when the control is subtle and unpredictable, then the victim is caught by surprise and does not recognise the intention to control.

When fear is indoctrinated in any relationship, institution, organisation or religion, we should see it as warnings signs of control. The only way to unplug from this toxic energy is to wake up to reality.

As humans we express our fear in 3 basics types of behaviour:

  1. The fear of being out of control (bossy boots)
  2. The fear of not being able to cope with change (victim)
  3. The fear of not being liked (people pleaser)

We mask our fears in various ways often not realising we are doing this. When we are unhappy most of the time, we are not realising that it could be due to our fears. If we are living in a long-term state of fear, our bodies create cortisol which depletes our immune system and affects our memory. The end result is disease.

The only way to unplug from fear is to trust life and accept life as it happens. This does not mean we have to approve of the cards we are dealt, just accept the reality of it. It helps if we have trust in the workings of the Universe or have faith in a greater Consciousness that is always in control for our highest good. I strongly believe that my soul will never present my personality a challenge that is too big to handle.

Luckily, we are all blessed with a build-in Emotional Guidance System. This system will tell us immediately when we are lowering or elevating our vibration. When we have a thought or behave in a certain way, we would immediately feel our spirit spiralling down, or being uplifted or just being neutral. This is guidance in real time that we are changing our vibration.

If we are lowering our vibration more often than uplifting it, we will definitely become ill. One way to change this is to change HOW we perceive what our reality is. In other words, do we blindly believe our thoughts as the truth or investigate if it is absolutely true?

The moment when something bad happens to us, we tend to think there must be something wrong with us or we want to blame someone else. Often we play “what ifs” games in our minds which predict the worse-case scenario. This will only amplify our fears because it does not provide any solutions.

There are various ways to explore the mind for solutions. One that is most powerful is to ask solution-focussed questions. When we are in crisis we can ask the following questions:

  • Is this something I should fix, just put up with or walk away from?
  • Who can I ask that knows how to solve this of gives me guidance?
  • What other solutions can I think of?

I guess we then have a choice. Crime is real; we accept that. How we feel about WHAT happens to us is clearly a choice. The challenge is to find the balance between acknowledging the situation and not becoming a victim.

When we live a life of balance we live a functional life.

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