MyNews24 is a user-generated section of The stories here come from users.

Comments: 2
Article views: 111
Latest Badges:

View all ShaunElliot's badges.

Just Fat

29 May 2014, 14:40

There is this radio advert at the moment that makes me want to drive my car into a wall in utter dismay every time I hear it.  It starts off asking the listener if their waist size is greater than 102 cm and then goes on to say that if it is, it is likely that they are simply insulin resistant and this is why they can’t lose weight. Luckily, the advert continues; there is a pill for that now.

Bollocks! If your waist is greater than 102cm it is likely that you are fat and either eat too much, exercise too little or more than likely are guilty of a combination of both sins.

Ok so now that I have offended at least half of you and have the other half smirking with delight let me tell you at this point that I am a recovering porker so I can say this stuff and although you might not like what you read you can’t really do anything about it as I hold the high ground here. It’s true, I know all about FAT. Certainly enough to know that when I was a fully-fledged member of Club Chunky it was never because I was “just fat” but instead because I ate (and drank) more than I needed to in order to perform the physical demands of my day. Oh and while I’m at it, neither was it because I was an emotional eater, nope just a greedy one. So no psychological nor physiological underlying anything. Just fat because of my actions or more correctly lack thereof.  That whole “I eat to make me feel less unhappy” thing actually also grinds my gears come to think of it. Snap out of it! Roll your fat rear end off that sofa, turn Channel Oscar off for 20 minutes and go for a waddle around the block. Sure you won’t look great doing it but if you don’t you will never look great doing anything. Besides, I put money on the fact that when you get back from your waddle you will feel happier for it. Not a runner you say? Crap! I used that one too, as it happens I can run, I think all able bodied humans can. This human was just plain lazy for most of his life much like you I suspect.

Thankfully I’m not that fat anymore and guess what the hardest part of getting thinner was? Not getting up at 4am to go to gym 5 days a week or doing without nice treats to eat and booze to help me socialise with other fatty’s. No it was getting my head around the fact that I had to take responsibility for what I had done to myself. I had to admit I was fat because of me. Only then could I stop researching the hundreds of wonder supplements out there that would counter my self-diagnosed genetic disorder or study the 100’s of training methods that would suit my body type. No, my body type was type F for fat and it was that way because of me. If my metabolism was slow it was because I had wrecked it with my food choices not because I was born with a slow metabolism.  Have you heard the saying “paralysis by analysis”? Well, it is a bloody great way to sum up my old exercise regime. I’m not exaggerating when I say that I know more about exercise and nutrition than most competitive bodybuilders and personal trainers. But why didn’t I look like them I used to ask myself. It must be my crap genetics…No! It was because I wasn’t “doing”, I was too busy researching, looking for that wonder routine or thermogenic supplement that was going to make me ripped without blowing up my heart in the process.

As I see it the biggest enemy of a fat person lies in their eagerness to blame anything but themselves for the state of their body. This takes the power away from them to be a part of the solution. It is just the path of least resistance and if you are fat then chances are that this is the path you tread the most. You see if there is anything fat people share, any common denominator, it is not a faulty thyroid gland or poor genetics but rather a strong inclination for laziness. Laziness makes you fat and then keeps you fat.  Much like heroine makes an addict broke and keeps them that way until they finally end up in a forever box, this path of least resistance also leads to death. Yes death, I’m not over dramtising this look at the stats…

So this is what I suggest you do fatty, look at the positive message within this piece. Not only are you responsible for being a “Porker” but you and as it happens only you have the ability to sort it out. It won’t be easy and you will want to give up in the beginning but when you do think these words, would I rather be in a little discomfort   (ok a lot of discomfort) now or dead sometime soon? At least sometime sooner than you should have kicked the bucket with those poor overloaded flabby legs of yours.

Ok so I’ll leave you to think about this for a while and when you have stopped crying and the resentment you feel for me has subsided (at least a little) come back and follow my miracle weight loss and life extending program below as if your life depends on it. Mostly because it does and secondly because I know a lot of fat people are clever (lazy people often are) and goodness knows the World can’t afford to lose any clever people. Not pre-maturely anyway.

Shaun’s Life Extending Miracle Fat Loss Plan

1. Take a photo of yourself wearing as little as possible. Print this image and keep it in a safe place. The fridge door is a safe place.

2. Get up early and go to and do something that makes you sweat and feel uncomfortable for 30- 45mins at least 4 days a week. As you become fitter try harder to feel more uncomfortable and sweat more.

3. Stop eating processed food (especially refined carbohydrates: white bread, pasta and plain white rice) and eat more real food (including complex carbs, sweet potato, brown rice, oats..)

4.  Eat a fist size portion of Protein at every meal, Eggs, Fish, Chicken and Lean Meat. Not a Kobus Wiese sized fist either (remember I know how you think!).

5. Be sure to eat less of the above more often. Try aim to eat every 3 hours that you are awake as this will speed up that sluggish metabolism of yours.

6. Stop adding sugar to everything, ditto ketchup which is pretty much the same thing.

7. Ditch the flavoured coldrinks and instead drink lots and lots of water. Not so much that you drown but enough to make people wonder why you are away from your desk so much during the day.

8. Schedule a time once a week to forget the above and enjoy a cheat meal. Yes, get a Pizza, a Bunny Chow, Burger or anything you want. Just the one though and only if you have not deviated from the plan during the run up to cheat day.

9. Now, and this is important after 12 weeks of dedicated effort take another photo of yourself, look at the difference and promise yourself you will never be “just fat again”.

10. Buy yourself new clothes that actually fit your new shape, introduce some moderation into your life and maintain the new body you have earned.

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received. publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
Comments have been closed for this article.

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Linda Bullock
67 Minutes of prayer to remove th...

Nelson Mandela must turn in his grave when he sees the mess left behind with the cANCer party looting from left, right and centre our beloved country South Africa. Read more...

0 comments 1010 views
Submitted by
Angus Douglas
Black power versus human capital

When will South Africa have its Deng Xiaoping moment? The Chinese communist leader famously said, “It doesn’t matter whether a cat is white or black, as long as it catches mice.” Read more...

0 comments 965 views
Submitted by
Colin Webster452
Angelique “Scarlet” Ramos - Team ...

Angelique has been flying in the League Of Legends scene for some time now, competing in Championships for at least 2 years.  Read more...

0 comments 362 views
Submitted by
Lisa Marcelle Hold
Happy Birthday Tata

Corruption, wealth, hate, greed and power have become the cornerstones of our current government. Our current government represents everything Mandela was not. Read more...

0 comments 141 views
Submitted by
Peter Hollander
Zuma sold his morals to become Gr...

South-Africa is in the process of becoming a mafia-state. No two ways about it. Read more...

0 comments 718 views
Submitted by
6 Reader traffic fine questions a...

‘I keep getting fines for a vehicle I don’t own’, ‘I never received a court summons’… Wheels24 readers have their SA traffic-fine questions answered. Read more...

0 comments 9897 views


E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on Android Get the latest from News24 on your Android device.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

TV Get us in your home, on your television.

Interactive Advertising Bureau
© 2017 All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.


Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.

Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire network.


Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.

Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.