Our Face Book
sites have hosted raging debates about homosexuality, referred to as so called
“Gay and Lesbian rights”. Even Zeinab Badawi and our Constitutional Court Judge
Cameron were at it on BBC’s “Hard Talk” recently. The concern here is the emotional
rhetoric in the anti gay camp that is so righteous, so condemnatory, as to
constitute hateful speech. It is all too clear that just having to consider the
issue induces a huge raft of extremely negative emotions in members of this
necessary to first set out what informs my own stance. As a human being, I find
it unimaginable that I could have sex with another man. My mind simply cannot
wrap itself around the thing. Even if you put a gun to my head I will not do
That is why I
have concluded that homosexuality is not a matter of choice. Nature has
determined the issue for some of us. For nearly all of us nature has determined
whether or not we are hetero or homo. There are a few exceptions, as when some
become gay on account of experience, as with prisoners or being a victim of
pedophilia. However, for the vast majority it is not a matter of choice.
reason I am precluded from ascribing any sort of blame. Something that is
completely natural cannot attract blame and/or condemnation. It follows
that there can be no basis whatsoever for discriminating against Gays and
Lesbians. They are entitled to be fully accepted for who and what they are,
just as I am. It is that simple.
In my book(1), published last year, I
recount an incident at school when I had to disarm a lad who had gone beserk,
and was trying to stab anyone in reach, with a dagger. I succeeded, at the
expense of having the dagger penetrate my right foot, permanently severing a
tendon of one of my toes. At the time no one was able to deduce the reason for
the lad’s behaviour.
many years later, when it was revealed that he was now living as “the wife” of
a White male. At school he had been acting out terrible inner pain and hurt at
finding himself with sexuality that, at the time, was completely unknown to all
of us. He felt that he was a misfit; a freak, with acceptance out of the
question. I only learnt of homosexuality after I left school, at age 22.
will confirm that the behaviour, exhibited by this lad, is not at all
surprising. People act out their inner pain and hurts. They will lash out,
often with extreme aggression. They will target those whom they perceive
as being unsympathetic to what they are feeling deep inside. Unable to deal with
their own demons, they resort to aggression in word and deed. There is a most
illuminating book, titled the Primal Scream, on this subject.
So if you are
experiencing an emotive response to the question put about gay and lesbian
rights, it may well be a warning bell. If you find that your response is
condemnatory, you may need to take note. If it is hateful, you really need to
sit up and investigate why?
that to hold to a stance that someone else MUST be discriminated against,
simply for being who and what they are, is inherently persecutory and hateful.
It is hateful and persecutory to seek to deny others freedoms that you accord
yourself. No question!
You need to
look within yourself. Get help. See a psychologist. Get counseling. You may
find that your emotional intelligence is being driven by deep seated
suppression of your own sexuality. You may be acting out the hurt and pain you
are feeling, like the poor lad at my school. You may be angry and resentful
about the fact that an unsympathetic world, including your own family, has
prevented you from being who and what you are.
Just come out
of the closet. The real world is now much more accepting and
understanding. You will be welcomed and accorded the love and respect you need
as a human being. You will realize that all the Biblical texts against
homosexuality are comprehensible trumped by the central message by the Man from
Jerusalem that = “Love thy neighbour as
thyself, and do unto others as you would have them do unto you”.
Come out of
the closet. The truth will set you free.
(1) The Other - without fear, favour or prejudice. Book site is - http://theother.orgfree.com