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Learning about Christianity on MyNews24

02 November 2012, 10:28
As stated previously I abandoned what little belief I had in religion when I was relatively young, I can't say exactly when but I know that by the time I got to high school any notion that there was a God has disappeared, anyway, following the debate on this forum I have learnt a lot about Christianity, I don't have the references for every point but the relevant people know who they are, so here goes:

Despite always answering "No, not at all" in the past when asked if I was religious I have now learnt that Atheism is actually a religion, so in future when someone asks me if I am religious I must answer "Absolutely, extremely religious!"

In the unlikely event that I meet someone whom has never, ever seen a helicopter before, I can always a locust, or at least a picture of locust, to accurately describe a helicopter.

Scientific facts are not facts once you have had a religious experience, in fact scientific facts becomes lies once God/Jesus Christ/Holy Spirit or all three have entered your heart.

One of my favourite musicians, Sting, as an agnostic, forms part of the top ten threats to Christianty.

Almost all Christians were actually once militant atheists until one day, poof, God/Jesus Christ entered their heart.

Almost all atheists denounce their lack of belief 4.5 seconds before they die, they scream out that they were wrong, and then die. (Well all famous atheists anyway!).

God might smite those that are not appropriately dressed, especially at Church. Men lust after women that wear skirts above knee height.

Today religion is actually destroying God.

Without Christianity a person has no moral compass, although the top two philanthropists in the world are both agnostic/atheist, Warren Buffet (Donated US$ 30.7 Billion) and Bill Gates (Donated US$ 29 Billion).

Atheists, despite not believing in God or Satan, are actually all devil worshipers.

More than half of the Christian believers, the Roman Catholics, are actually incorrect in their belief and form a threat to Christianity. Sadly Mother Theresa who devoted her entire life to God and charity will sit in hell for eternity due to misinterpreting the Bible.

Despite the fact that almost all serious scientists accept evolution it is actually nonsense.

Richard Dawkins and Charles Darwin are regarded as the Atheist God's, oh the irony!

So as I see it we have two options:

Option 1

Eternal bliss in heaven sitting next to God along with Charles Dumbwin, Sean, LionLamb, Vaal Donkie, Hermann, Nancy, Bobby, Faith Filled and company, the conversation should be really stimulating while they congratulate each other for eternity.

Or

Option 2

The big cookout, the braai down-under, it is going to be a scorcher so remember the sun block and bring lots of ice, Ricky Gervais will be the master of ceremony, you can have intellectual discussions with the likes of Albert Einstien, Carl Sagan, Bill Gates, David Attenborough, Richard Branson and Richard Dawkins (to name just a few), when you have had enough mental stimulation you can take a break and enjoy the humour of the likes of John Clease, the rest of the Monty Python crew, Woody Allen, Jack Black, Billy Connolly and Rowan Atkinson, for musical interlude there will be the sounds of the likes of Sting, Roger Waters, Bob Geldorf and Björn Ulvaeus.

Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak will be there to hand out the latest iPhones and iPads and Mark Zuckerberg will be around to update Facebook.

Well, as for me, when I snuff it you can "slip another shrimp on the barbie".

Wishing everyone a great weekend, and God bless or Dawkins bless if you so feel

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