PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
DoctorRoof
 
Comments: 35
Article views: 5791
 
 
Latest Badges:



 
View all DoctorRoof's badges.
 

Let them eat my grass (an open letter to Pastor Lesego Daniel of Rabbonni Centre Ministries)

13 January 2014, 07:41

Dear Pastor Daniel

I was so happy to learn that you've instructed your congregation to eat grass in order to become closer to God. Although I am sure that you were misunderstood and meant the kind of grass certain people usually smoke. I have, and God came so close I almost burnt His hand with the end of my spliff when He reached out to me. In time I'm sure I would have gotten even closer, but my dealer got arrested.

In any event, I have a business opportunity for you. I have recently procured a government tender by fronting my gardening service with BEE individuals. We have secured a contract to maintain certain parks in the area. Rather than spend a fortune on top of the range lawnmowers and weed eaters, I wonder if your flock could not be of assistance.

If I provide the location and lawn, would your congregation be partial to having a nibble on government land? I also have a few golf courses I service and I believe, (at least by how fussy they are about their grass), that it is the Michelin star of lawn cuisine. I will of course give you a percentage of my income, knowing that you will spend it on the poor and needy, and not on a spanking new Merc.

There are just a few things I would like to clear with you first. Do your flock eat weeds? (It’s just that sometimes these pests pop up every now and then)

I saw on TV that they were eating grass in a rather disorderly manner, with some lying down and chewing and others going at it like there was no tomorrow. Could you train them? If they all started eating in a straight line, at the same pace, we could soon be getting tenders all over the country.

Please take my proposition seriously Pastor. I went outside before I wrote this and had a nibble of my neighbour’s grass (I don’t have any of my own) and I too saw the light. After the motorcycle had passed, I knew that you were onto something. Such foresight and ingenuity can only come from a higher power. I look forward to our days of graze. Today, grass, tomorrow….. The possibilities are endless!

Dr Roof 

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
35 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Tiisetso Maloma
Open letter to minister of Small ...

Below I list a few things which I believe frustrate entrepreneurship growth and acceleration in South Africa.  Read more...

1 comments 117 views
The alarming issues relating to y...

Unemployment is one of the key indicators of poverty and has various negative effects on people. Read more...

5 comments 65 views
Submitted by
Logan
Impeach President Zuma

Why do we expect the best from professionals in all areas of our normal day-to-day, but accept what clearly is nowhere near sufficient from our President? Read more...

6 comments 133 views
Submitted by
jerrypitie
Investing in the poor pays much f...

It is nothing but a wreck of a thought and act of pruning short cuts for the lazy and the ignorants. Read more...

23 comments 575 views
Submitted by
Juanne Coetzee
Potential armed shopping robbers ...

ARREST - SAPS at their best Read more...

3 comments 921 views
Submitted by
Jotta Malvern Booysen
Open letter to Premier Helen Zill...

After kidney failure people need a new kidney or dialysis to live. If you do not get dialysis, toxins will build up in your blood and water will fill your lungs and you will die. Read more...

33 comments 2072 views

Jobs in Cape Town [change area]

Jobs in Western Cape region

Hotel/Client Liaison Co-Ordinator

Rondebosch
Your Move Personnel
R12 000 - R12 800 Per Month

PHP Developer

Cape Town Northern Suburbs
Communicate Cape Town IT
R25 000 - R30 000 Per Month

Massage Therapist

George - Knysna
Alfa & Omega Networked Business Solutions (PTY)Ltd

Property [change area]

Travel - Look, Book, Go!

Magical Massinga

Spend 5 nights at the gorgeous Massinga Beach Lodge in Mozambique and only pay for 4 from R13 220 per person sharing. Includes return flights, accommodation, transfers and romantic turndown. Book now!

Kalahari.com - shop online today

Seen something you like in our catalogue?

Find the perfect gift and save up to R5000 – As seen on the catalogue. Hurry and shop now!

Save up to R1000 on Hisense smartphones!

View the large range of Hisense smartphones. Buy today and save up to R1000!

Toys 4 for the price of 3

Buy 4 toys and get the cheapest FREE! Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

Mind blowing prices – As seen on TV

Get mind blowing prices on 1000’s of products! Shop now.

Deal of the week!

Save R1200 on the Samsung 48” smart full HD LED television now only R8799. Buy now!

OLX Free Classifieds [change area]

Samsung Galaxy s4

Mobile, Cell Phones in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 24

Best bargain in big bay

Real Estate, Houses - Apartments for Sale in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

VW Golf 6, 1.6 Trendline (Excellent condition)

Vehicles, Cars in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2014 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.








Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.