PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
DoctorRoof
 
Comments: 36
Article views: 5026
 
 
Latest Badges:



 
View all DoctorRoof's badges.
 

Let them eat my grass (an open letter to Pastor Lesego Daniel of Rabbonni Centre Ministries)

13 January 2014, 07:41

Dear Pastor Daniel

I was so happy to learn that you've instructed your congregation to eat grass in order to become closer to God. Although I am sure that you were misunderstood and meant the kind of grass certain people usually smoke. I have, and God came so close I almost burnt His hand with the end of my spliff when He reached out to me. In time I'm sure I would have gotten even closer, but my dealer got arrested.

In any event, I have a business opportunity for you. I have recently procured a government tender by fronting my gardening service with BEE individuals. We have secured a contract to maintain certain parks in the area. Rather than spend a fortune on top of the range lawnmowers and weed eaters, I wonder if your flock could not be of assistance.

If I provide the location and lawn, would your congregation be partial to having a nibble on government land? I also have a few golf courses I service and I believe, (at least by how fussy they are about their grass), that it is the Michelin star of lawn cuisine. I will of course give you a percentage of my income, knowing that you will spend it on the poor and needy, and not on a spanking new Merc.

There are just a few things I would like to clear with you first. Do your flock eat weeds? (It’s just that sometimes these pests pop up every now and then)

I saw on TV that they were eating grass in a rather disorderly manner, with some lying down and chewing and others going at it like there was no tomorrow. Could you train them? If they all started eating in a straight line, at the same pace, we could soon be getting tenders all over the country.

Please take my proposition seriously Pastor. I went outside before I wrote this and had a nibble of my neighbour’s grass (I don’t have any of my own) and I too saw the light. After the motorcycle had passed, I knew that you were onto something. Such foresight and ingenuity can only come from a higher power. I look forward to our days of graze. Today, grass, tomorrow….. The possibilities are endless!

Dr Roof 

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
36 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Thulane Bolsheviks
The ANC’s power losses to be disc...

One of the greatest challenges that the ANC is facing on a daily basis and characterises it at the moment is corruption, greed and self-interest. Read more...

10 comments 506 views
Submitted by
Thulane Bolsheviks
The Aurora Directors finally to e...

The days of the Aurora Empowerment Directors are numbered. Read more...

0 comments 192 views
Submitted by
Maruping Phepheng
The president caused the chaos

Contrary to some who feel that the conduct of EFF parliamentarians was wrong when they launched the now famous #bringbackourmoney onslaught, I think not. Read more...

22 comments 830 views
Submitted by
Bolsheviks Partysa
Thuli needs help

The Public Protector now needs all the support that she can get! Read more...

9 comments 1035 views
Submitted by
FFP
Stagnation of technology

we as civilization should come down to our primordial reality: the advance of technology cannot go on indefinitely, it has to stop and soon.  Read more...

21 comments 464 views
Submitted by
Mark Whelan
Down with Racism

I abhor racism. Always have, always will. Interestingly, in my recent past, I, too, have been accused of racism. Read more...

9 comments 1030 views

Jobs in Cape Town [change area]

Property [change area]

Travel - Look, Book, Go!

Magical Massinga

Spend 5 nights at the gorgeous Massinga Beach Lodge in Mozambique and only pay for 4 from R13 220 per person sharing. Includes return flights, accommodation, transfers and romantic turndown. Book now!

Kalahari.com - shop online today

Up to 40% off fashion accessories

Save up to 40% on selected handbags, purses, watches, jewellery and more. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

Save up to R2000 on top electronics

Get every day mind bowing savings on top electronics. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

As seen on TV - New book releases at only R199 each

Get mind blowing book savings on new titles. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

Save up to 50% on Women’s month treats!

Celebrate the awesome women in your life with awesome treats like beauty products, fashion accessories, bestselling books, electronics and more. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

Up to 60% off - clearance sale!

Save up to 60% on appliances, books, electronics, toys, movies and more. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

OLX Free Classifieds [change area]

Samsung Galaxy s4

Mobile, Cell Phones in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 24

Best bargain in big bay

Real Estate, Houses - Apartments for Sale in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

VW Golf 6, 1.6 Trendline (Excellent condition)

Vehicles, Cars in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2014 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.








Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.