PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
DoctorRoof
 
Comments: 27
Article views: 6181
 
 
Latest Badges:



 
View all DoctorRoof's badges.
 

Let them eat my grass (an open letter to Pastor Lesego Daniel of Rabbonni Centre Ministries)

13 January 2014, 07:41

Dear Pastor Daniel

I was so happy to learn that you've instructed your congregation to eat grass in order to become closer to God. Although I am sure that you were misunderstood and meant the kind of grass certain people usually smoke. I have, and God came so close I almost burnt His hand with the end of my spliff when He reached out to me. In time I'm sure I would have gotten even closer, but my dealer got arrested.

In any event, I have a business opportunity for you. I have recently procured a government tender by fronting my gardening service with BEE individuals. We have secured a contract to maintain certain parks in the area. Rather than spend a fortune on top of the range lawnmowers and weed eaters, I wonder if your flock could not be of assistance.

If I provide the location and lawn, would your congregation be partial to having a nibble on government land? I also have a few golf courses I service and I believe, (at least by how fussy they are about their grass), that it is the Michelin star of lawn cuisine. I will of course give you a percentage of my income, knowing that you will spend it on the poor and needy, and not on a spanking new Merc.

There are just a few things I would like to clear with you first. Do your flock eat weeds? (It’s just that sometimes these pests pop up every now and then)

I saw on TV that they were eating grass in a rather disorderly manner, with some lying down and chewing and others going at it like there was no tomorrow. Could you train them? If they all started eating in a straight line, at the same pace, we could soon be getting tenders all over the country.

Please take my proposition seriously Pastor. I went outside before I wrote this and had a nibble of my neighbour’s grass (I don’t have any of my own) and I too saw the light. After the motorcycle had passed, I knew that you were onto something. Such foresight and ingenuity can only come from a higher power. I look forward to our days of graze. Today, grass, tomorrow….. The possibilities are endless!

Dr Roof 

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

 

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
27 comments
Comments have been closed for this article.

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Bongani Manjanja
Free Tender Alerts Available At L...

Getting tender alerts by email have always been costly for those seeking to tender. Read more...

0 comments 110 views
Submitted by
Maraika van Wessem
The Flying Sharks of Gansbaai Hav...

Get Out of the House this Winter and Witness Nature’s Greatest Spectacle An Airborne One Tonne Shark Right Next to Your Boat. Read more...

0 comments 354 views
Submitted by
Lets Go!!
DA'S van Damme

As Malema calls them"another one for the kitchen" van Damme concentrate on the millions of EC refugees. Read more...

0 comments 563 views
Submitted by
Leon Nel
Reader: 3 generations of Ford Mus...

Wheels24 reader Leon Nel has been driving Ford Mustangs since 1964. Here's his version of three generations of Mustang in SA... Read more...

0 comments 4209 views
Submitted by
Kdoggy dog
Transformation is like a plant

Transformation is at the heart of South African Sport. Its just like a hemorrhoid, this issue just won't go away,even if you wish it.  Read more...

0 comments 724 views
Community development forum in Kr...

I have been asking myself if we are really free. We are living in a democratic system under the status quo of the apartheid. That in a nutshell means we are not free. Read more...

0 comments 215 views
 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on Android Get the latest from News24 on your Android device.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

TV Get us in your home, on your television.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2016 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.




Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.