PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
MrGrumpy
 
Comments: 32
Article views: 1353
 
 
Latest Badges:


 
View all MrGrumpy's badges.
 

Let’s insult each other creatively

31 January 2013, 00:01

Using racist insults is so lazy and I think if we all applied ourselves, we could insult each other with the vibrant creativity usually reserved for government’s explanations of where all the money went. I say we put a bit more effort into our insults.

I understand that at this point, literally both people in South Africa who never have the urge to insult others will be springing energetically from behind a bowl of soya in broccoli sauce to their computers powered by the happy thoughts of fairies. They’ll quickly point out that we should rather not insult each other and show respect for the ways of others. But they are both wrong.

Unfortunately, for those who irritate me, I am quite prepared to work long and hard on a personal insult - although, annoyingly, the perfect personal slur only comes to mind at 3am, when I awake with the flush of excitement thinking That’s exactly what I should have said to them! I’m prepared to meticulously craft something directed against the very fibre of the rude salesperson or daffy twit clogging up all my social media timelines with pictures of her new dog.

For starters, a Yorkie is not a dog. My dog, which is a stunning Rhodesian Ridgeback (are they still called that? Or is it now a Zimbabwean Ridgeback?) regularly leaves surprising efforts on my lawn that are bigger than a Yorkie. Now that, my friends, is a dog and his dedication to his craft is to be admired.

I have no gripe with those who own a Yorkshire terrier or even one of those aggressive little bastards, the miniature Doberman. But understand this: if your little precious scratches my tekkies or tears my jeans in some ill-considered and unprovoked attack on me, I shall drop-kick it over the tennis court.

If you refer to the vicious little turd as a dog, I shall drop-kick you over the tennis court.

I get similarly agitated at our local shopping complex when, invariably, drivers of the smallest cars have the greatest difficulty parking their infernal pieces of Chinese crap between the white lines. Your car is the size of a match box – I could have drop-kicked it from inside the pizza shop between those lines with more accuracy. To be fair, I do practise my drop-kicking for owners of Dachshunds and am getting remarkably accurate.

A special flavour of invective is reserved for the mentally handicapped who park their cars in the spaces reserved for the physically handicapped.

If you are blessed with such a monolithic ego and fundamental inability to evolve beyond Neanderthal thinking, frankly, your testicles should be drop kicked individually by no less than the great Joel Stransky from one side of the field and immediately batted into the acorn trees by one of those big-hitting West Indian cricketers… And thereafter, filed with your cancelled driver’s license, through one of those shredders into the round file under the desk.

And so, I call on all South Africans to verbally abuse each other creatively. If you are going to insult your fellow citizens, be imaginative about it! Using a racist insult, or for that matter, responding to any personal criticism with the retort that the critic is a racist, is just plain lazy.

Spend the next 30 minutes crafting some proper insults, properly abusive stuff! Maybe even make a few notes to carry in your car for pasting under the windscreen wiper of the delivery vehicle using the handicapped parking bay because its driver is too lazy to use the delivery bay two metres further on…

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
32 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
FFP
Stagnation of technology

we as civilization should come down to our primordial reality: the advance of technology cannot go on indefinitely, it has to stop and soon.  Read more...

1 comments 0 views
Submitted by
Mark Whelan
Down with Racism

I abhor racism. Always have, always will. Interestingly, in my recent past, I, too, have been accused of racism. Read more...

0 comments 841 views
Submitted by
Keita
The human face of christian spite

I can’t tell you how often I hear this, both here on News24 and elsewhere. Rational arguments have been made to indicate how wrong those statements are, but it seems they fall on deaf ears. Read more...

195 comments 2230 views
Submitted by
Greg Martino
Does God answer our prayers?

To supplement to our insufficient income, myself and my wife are occasionally given the opportunity to work various trade shows at which my wife's company exhibits at. Read more...

123 comments 1838 views
Submitted by
Ryan_Ruffgrain
Mario’s here. Nothing else matter...

The above title seems an apt proviso for this piece. Of course, there were other matters of some incident in the Premier League this weekend.  Read more...

0 comments 396 views
Submitted by
Tracy Gilpin
You're never too old to spy

So why is it easier to spot a Voortrekker bonnet at an EFF rally than a South African spy thriller on a shelf? Read more...

3 comments 485 views

Jobs in Cape Town [change area]

Property [change area]

Travel - Look, Book, Go!

Magical Massinga

Spend 5 nights at the gorgeous Massinga Beach Lodge in Mozambique and only pay for 4 from R13 220 per person sharing. Includes return flights, accommodation, transfers and romantic turndown. Book now!

Kalahari.com - shop online today

Up to 40% off fashion accessories

Save up to 40% on selected handbags, purses, watches, jewellery and more. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

Save up to R2000 on top electronics

Get every day mind bowing savings on top electronics. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

As seen on TV - New book releases at only R199 each

Get mind blowing book savings on new titles. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

Save up to 50% on Women’s month treats!

Celebrate the awesome women in your life with awesome treats like beauty products, fashion accessories, bestselling books, electronics and more. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

Up to 60% off - clearance sale!

Save up to 60% on appliances, books, electronics, toys, movies and more. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

OLX Free Classifieds [change area]

Samsung Galaxy s4

Mobile, Cell Phones in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 24

Best bargain in big bay

Real Estate, Houses - Apartments for Sale in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

VW Golf 6, 1.6 Trendline (Excellent condition)

Vehicles, Cars in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2014 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.








Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.