Let’s talk about sex. I’m not a prude and will be the first to admit that I enjoy sex. What irks me though are those two extreme kinds you get when it gets to the nitty gritty of sex.
There are those who believe sex is dirty and evil. They’ll only have sex when their husband demands it as part of the matrimonial contract. They don’t try new positions or even toys (toys are from the devil you know). According to them sex is a sin and must (at all costs) not be enjoyed. They are the ones who read “50 shades of Grey”, but only in a dark corner where no-one could see them, but where most vocal in how the acts described in the book shocked them to the core. How disgusting these acts are and that you must surely a social and moral degenerate for practising these sexual acts. I personally did not like the book, but my issue was more with the writing style as with the description of the sexual acts.
Drop the line “oral sex” in their company and they’ll go redder than a sun ripe tomato, spit their tea in all the wind directions and run for their bible to find a suitable passage condemning not only oral sex but sex in the whole.
They are the ones who neglect to inform their offspring (begat from that dirty, shameful, sinful act) about the facts of life. Their children have a higher chance of falling pregnant, because they do not know about sex. My one uncle discovered religion in a big way. He already had two kids, but suddenly everything was a sin and that included sex. For fifteen years he and his wife did not share a bed, but slept about 3 metres apart, each on a single bed. They taught their children to bath with their underwear on, because even when alone and bathing the sight of your sex organs is sinful.
Then you get those at the other end of the spectrum. Those who believe it is their duty to share the most intimate details of their sex life with you and expect you to do the same. I worked with a woman (I won’t call her a lady, because she is not a lady) who found delight in sharing every gory detail about her sexcapades. She would come in to work and start sharing the information from the moment her current lover stepped through the front door until he left the following morning. What makes those people think most of us normal people really want to know how well-endowed their current lover is? I really don’t want to know how many times you and your partner have orgasmed. I really don’t want to know the title of your favourite porn movie (and she would even share that and explain the whole movie, as if porn movies have a plot and/or character development) or your favourite sex positions.
I now have a problem with a mutual “friend” of me and my lover. He tries to find out every time we had sex and if my lover satisfies me. He would try to find out if I have a vibrator and how often we use the mystery item. He will try to grab my boobs or other parts of my body. What irks me most of this idiot is the fact that he believes he’s the gods gift to all womankind, that all women must find him irresistible and can’t wait to experience his love.
Sex for me is one of the most enjoyable experiences in your life, but like all “hobbies” it’s one you must treat with respect, otherwise you will get burned. If you and your likeminded friends like to share the details, please respect the fact that not all like to hang it all in the moment and might be offended about the most intimate details of your sex life. But don’t treat sex as a dirty secret either, it is not the dark ages anymore and sex is not your retarded, mutant-freak offspring that needs to locked in the cellar and only be let out once a month for a stroll in the garden.
In short, enjoy life, it’s the only one you got and most definitely enjoy sex, it is meant to be enjoyed
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