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Charles Dumbwin
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Lions, time to LeeuLoop!

17 August 2012, 07:06
And so we finally have it, the decision to boot the failed Lions Rugby Union out of Super Rugby.  And not a moment too soon!

Now, we’ll have the usual keg-loads of ‘snot en trane’, but it’s no more than the average Lions’ supporters excrete on any given weekend when their team gets smashed.

What’s more important is that we embrace transformation in sport and the commitments of SARU and the Presidents Council to government, ensuring the entrance of the Eastern Province rugby region into Super Rugby.

I can hear the Lions supporters already, complaining about how poor the Kings will be, what a stupid idea this is, blah blah.  Well, if it’s about performance, then the Lions should have been booted out years ago.  There’s a bigger picture here, and it’s bigger than Lions Rugby.  Okay, stupid statement cause most things are bigger than Lions Rugby.

So let’s quickly look ahead to next season and see what changes are on the cards for Lions supporters: 

Well firstly, they won’t be sitting in an empty stadium watching their team get hammered by some Super Rugby team.  Well, the stadium will still be empty of course, but they’ll be watching their beloved Lions competing in the Vodacom Cup on a Friday night.

Lions supporters will also be able to watch all the live Super Rugby games from packed pubs around Joburg, or even from the comfort of their own homes, seeing as though their stadium will probably be hosting live jukskei matches or bowling competitions on Saturday afternoons.  Hey don’t joke, I hear bowling is a contact sport.

But wait, there’s more!  Lions supporters, now freed from the shackles of failure, will be able to choose a new team from among SA’s elite rugby unions.  Since most of the Lions ‘stars’ will no doubt be snapped up for a song by the EP Super Kings, might I suggest the Lions supporters get their orders in early for their 2013 season Kings jerseys?

Lastly, it’s not only the Lions supporters and the Kings union that benefit from this sensible and overdue decision, but the Sharks supporters too!

With the Lions out, Sharks supporters won’t have to suffer the constant humiliation of being demolished by the Lions at Ellis Park.  They also won’t have to embrace the shame of watching their Durbanite team choke during another playoff match which...  Sorry, ha-ha, silly me, the Sharks will always choke during a playoff match.

On second thoughts, why limit Brand & Coke Park to only jukskei and bowling?  Might as well toss in tennis, cricket and even snooker.  As Robbie says, ‘tennisballe, krieketballe, snoekerballe as jy wil...  solank jy net leeuloop!’

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