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Sello Moroe
 
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Love and relationships

15 May 2014, 08:26

Other women have to envy your woman, other men have to envy your man. Not because you are both rich or look good... Because you protect each other and treat each other with respect. Because you value each other without showing off or superficial. Let alone love.

Love aside. Love don't glue relationship. Respect, valuing each other and appreciating each other. Makes a couple look good. They don't have to be rich or look good. 70% of relationships don't have that. It is attractive, when in its rareness, it happens.

Love is nothing. It's an aberration. When respect and all I indicated above reign. Love is sustained. They are the manure for love. Love on its own is a dangerous emotion. Ever heard people killing for love??? But people never kill for respect, appreciation, and valuing the other.

Couples have to live like they are the only two people in the world. People have to be jealous. Not showing off. Just the way you sincerely handling your relationship...Two words... RESPECT and APPRECIATION.

When you appreciate your partner... You don't judge them. You don't want to change them. You endeavor to understand them, you learn to bear with them, you learn to like what they love, you give them space to be themselves, you smile with them, you highlight their best and help improve their weakness. You never imagine someone is better than them. You don't wish against them.

Note. Nowhere I ever said love. Love is all I said above. Love doesn't stand on its own. People only love themselves. That's the only time the word love exist... When people love themselves... When they say they love others... They actually love themselves through others.

The Bible define love not on its own, because love on its own is nothing. When somebody says I love you. They can mean a host of things; they want to sleep with you, they want your money, they want your favors, you impress them, etc etc The Bible defines love as patient, kind, long-suffering, etc etc. Meaning without patience, kindness, long-suffering... There's no love.

The most important element in a relationship above everything like sex and so called love is COMMUNICATION... This is the determining factor if a relationship will make it or not. Communication can make or break a relationship... This goes with how you speak with your partner the choice of words and the time of speaking about different issues. Most partners speak because they have to find information from their partners; where is my underwear, where is the kid, did you buy breakfast, must I bring the food. Did you pay the bills etc. But in a healthy and progressive relationship, communication is used not only to find information, but also to SHARE information. That's telling your partner what you saw as you were on your way home, at work, about the children, about their concerns etc. Sharing information unlike finding information strengthens intimacy. It makes your partner your friend.

In the worst case scenario, communication can be used as a weapon, you are useless, I made you a favor, I don't care, shut up, etc. That is the worst case scenario of a communication... Communication is the most key element in a relationship, as well as the most difficult... Because talking to your partner doesn't only involve words. There are emotions involved and it can go either way without notice. Positive or negative. Depending.

The difference between a finding information communication and sharing information is that, finding information is compulsory. Whether you like it or not. You have to speak to your partner to find out information about the matter, but sharing information is voluntary. You don't have to tell your partner what you saw as you come home, what happened at work etc. You can decide not to talk about it.

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