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Irukandji
 
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MMS’s: I hate them

13 February 2014, 13:27

Thank the Greek and Roman gods that I haven’t got a single TV in my house. I have been spared the ordeal of watching the *muching DA and the ANC puppets on television. Unlike the Muppets, these blue and yellow Puppets are not funny in the least.

But, just seeing the pictures and video clips on the Internet, was enough for me to finally make up my mind: I shall not be voting in the upcoming elections. And, in the process, I’ve invented a new abbreviation for the Mindless Masses.

The Mindless Masses (MMS’s) have been around for thousands of years. From those who aimlessly followed Moses for four decades – after he misread his GPS and got lost in the desert; to those who followed Chicken Little when he said that the sky was falling.

But the MMS’s have never been as mindless as they are, at this point in time, right here in Zumania.

I have looked at the behaviour of the MMS’s – from Hofmeyr, with his white Red October muchers; to the black Marikana muchers – fools, all of them, I tell you. I have scrutinized the exploits of their leedas. I have tried to understand their grievances. And I’ve finally made up my mind.

I do not mix with rabble. Never have. Never shall.

I was a professional soldier for most of my life. When I marched, it was on a parade ground, or off to war. Not with a horde of undisciplined barbarians – staggering through the city streets, causing disruption, disorder, and damage.

Now let me tell you something: Even if this godforsaken country goes up in flames. Even if the pee pull are starving. Even if no one has a job, or a house, or a cent to his name – I shall never join the MMS’s. I was not brought up that way.

My vote, and my principles, cannot be bought with a T-shit. Of ANY colour. Or KFC. Or Nando’s.

There is a saying in **Nayderlunch: “Meng je met de zemelen, dan vreet de varkens je op.” In English, this means: “If you wear a political party’s free MMS’s T-shit, you are a piece of shit.” Finish en klaar.

I have always known that Zille’s six million “real jobs” were just a pie in the sky – something to entice the unemployed MMS’s to vote for her party. The much in Jo’burg had nothing to do with “real jobs.” Zille was only trying to save face after her disastrous affair with that untrustworthy saddle blanket on the head of Doctor Rumpeeelay.

But give the Botox her due, some jobs were actually created, albeit in a collaterally damaging sort of way: the thousands of T-shits that were manufactured (in China) and printed with the DA logo; the hundreds of posters that were printed for the millions of “real jobs,” and the hundreds of blue hard-hats that were made.

The brick makers increased their output; hundreds of luminous vests for the marshals were supplied; bus companies made a fortune; KFC made a killing (several thousand killings, in fact), bottled water sales went through the roof, etc, etc, and all and all.

A major spin-off was that some of the cops were kept busy with MMS’s (crowd) control – preventing them (the cops) from doing their “real” jobs – committing crime and demanding bribes from the pee pull.

If one DA mucher is to be believed, the DA’s MMS’s had again smoked dagga at the much. He is reported to have said: “Our membas were stoned during the much.”

(Sies! Just like they were stoned when they muched on Cosatu House in 2012.)

I haven’t got the time, or the inclination, to try to educate and develop the millions of uneducated MMS’s of this country, to a level of civilisation, where they will leave their ***benning, muching, and barbaric behaviour behind.

I just haven’t.

And I’ll tell you something else:

The vast majority of the MMS’s of this country are uneducated, unskilled, and unemployed. How the hell can you give these uneducated, unskilled MMS’s, “real jobs?” Six million, nogal!

Whoever runs the country gets voted into power by the MMS’s. The MMS’s will expect their leedas to keep their election promises – promises which won’t be kept, as usual.

And what do you think will happen then?

I’ll tell you: The MMS’s will continue muching, stoning, benning, and looting.

For sho’. You muck my weds.

*muching, much – marching, march

**Nayderlunch – Dutch

***benning – burning  

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