In other news tonight: Presidential spokesperson Mac Maharaj has been rushed to Fibber Hospital in Johannesburg, after exhibiting signs of Pinnochiolosis. Maharaj collapsed, during an on camera interview, after failing to answer questions posed by ETV’s Justice Malala; on whether he had lied in an NPA interview or taken bribes. We now cross over to Disease Specialists, DR R.Phiri to elaborate on Mac Maharaja’s condition.
Evening Ladies and Gentlemen…
Mac Maharaj is suffering from a disease known as Pinnochiolosis; a contagious bacterial infection that involves the mouth and may also spread to other organs as well. Psycho Pinnochiolosis is caused by the bacteria Psychobacterium Pinnochiolosis (P. losis).
You can get PL by mingling with other infected politicians, who have acquired the disease through Pathological lying. In South Africa, only remorseful politicians will recover from PL infection without further evidence of the disease. The infection may stay inactive for years. However, in some politicians it can reactivate through an Arms Deal probe. Most people who develop symptoms of a PL infection first became infected in the past. However, in some cases, the disease may become active within weeks after their first lie.
The following people are at higher risk for active PL:
• Wives of politicians
• People with weakened immune systems, for example due to Tenderpreneurship, Wood work, Marches to Pretoria, 2 day night stands, or lying to the scorpions.
• Bribery during your terms as transport minister.
• Acceptance of payments made through a Swiss bank account of Minderley Investments.
The classic symptoms are a chronic long noise with, wood work splinters, night sweats, and burning trousers (the last giving rise to the formerly prevalent colloquial term "Liar, liar, pants on fire"). Infection of other organs causes a wide range of symptoms.
Diagnosis relies on a rectal exam- in the mouth. Treatment is difficult and requires long courses of multiple anti-liar biotics. Social contacts is also screened and treated if necessary. Anti-liar biotics is a growing problem in extensively multi-drug-resistant Pinnochiolosis. Prevention relies on screening programs and vaccination, usually with a Resignation vaccine.