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Mandelarising South Africa

08 November 2012, 07:15
With the new Mandela notes taking South Africa by storm, I suggest we just make everything about our country Mandelafied.

Let's start by changing the name of the country, how about calling it Madiba Republic. Next on the line would be the Indian Ocean. What has India got to do with our independence from Apartheid and English colonisation? Mandela spent 27 years doing karate chops to the Boers, and rescuing us from the clutches of colonial hounds all the while we were sitting in our houses biting fingernails and wondering who was going to save us!

I have come to the conclusion that it is not enough that many of the popular building structures like bridges and malls have been named after him. I now call for the renaming of all major roads in the country as Nelson Mandela roads, and those in the suburbs should be differentiated by an "avenue" at the end

 I also suggest that all Museums be called the Madiba Museum of "whatever", maybe apartheid, guns or charity. All the Major department stores in the country should change their names too in respect of this hero, and become Mandela shop of (food, household goods, or clothes).

Lest the ANC think that is not enough, sommer name everyone in the country born after 1994 Nelson, be it male or female, and the only differentiation will be our surnames. Television stations must no longer play their western programmes brainwashing our children, only the wonderful take of how Nelson Mandela rescued us from the Boers must be played, the other channels must only play music related to the struggle, and every once in a while hail the emerging Hero's name (Madiba), of course.

We must all change our home language to Xhosa, which must lose that name to Madiba language, and unify this nation.

All this is not enough. Everyone must change their licence plates to Mandela GP etc, and then the provinces within 27 years must also revert to being called by all Mandela clan names.

All schools must have an exclusive subject about Nelson Mandela, and they must also be called Nelson Mandela prep, secondary or high school.

In fact, Nelson Mandela should just re-avail himself for the presidency, because the votes will simply go unanimously in his favour. None of this Msholozi nonsense that is not going anywhere!

Point is, there is this obsession about the man in this country and everything is being named after him, and his face is gracing every fashion or popular item, and we GET IT!!!! Just call us all Mandela and be done with it! De Klerk, Buthelezi, Biko, Hani, Sisulu, are all the names synonymous with struggle, and Nelson Mandela never fought the war single handed.

It sometimes seems to me he was comfortable in prison while people beat unbearable heat and rains in the bushes armed to their socks, whilst he and his wife could visit peacefully at a farm on his last days there.  I have simply had it, and I think he also is quiet and not naming his fellow comrades because he is hoarding all the glory, and before we know it, we'll be told to worship the man! A few weeks ago Gospel Gold was playing live music singing praises to Mandela, people, hey, the man is HUMAN! NOT GOD!!!!

We all know or try to understand the big roles he played, but this is enough already! Before everyone red arrows me, the day this man dies (he might be immortal, by the actions of some), we will have a month long holiday and I suspect that will be the time my rename everything to Mandela campaign comes to effect!

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