PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
Tyronehster
 
Comments: 4
Article views: 260
 
 
Latest Badges:



 
View all Tyronehster's badges.
 

Mayoral Responsibilities

04 July 2013, 12:42

‘Whut in tarnation y’all lookin’ so down ‘bout, Buford?’ asked Abner, wavin’ his straw hat in fron’ of his face t’ keep away the flies. It shore wus hot, an’ th’ fish wus showin’ uncommon sense in stayin’ under th’ water, where it wus cool.

Buford, he looked up at Abner f’um under his hat, them big ol’ eyes lookin’ all hangdawg. He sighed, real deep like, an’ shooken his haid. ‘I done tol’ ya right in th’ b’ginnin’ thet bein Mayor wus gonna change Hiram, an’ I wus right!’

Abner wus uncommon patient with Buford; he could see he wus smartin’. ‘Look, Buford, they’s change, and then they’s change,’ he said, tryin’ t’ placate Buford.

‘Whut d’you mean, change an’ change? It’s the same dang thang!’

‘Now y’see Buford, mos’ly I would agree with you, but I thank I gotta explain myse’f better.’ He leaned back aginst the bole of thet big ol’ tree, tryin’ t’ keep outa the sun, but it din’ seem t’ he’p none. ‘Hiram’s Mayor now; he’s mighty important, an’ he’s gotta be doin’ some thangs different!’

‘I know thet, I jes’ don’ thank it’s right. Why, Loretta even shaved under her arms! Thet’s some purty serious airs an’ graces right there. An’ since they come back f’um Memphis, she don’ chew baccy no more. She got thet there big city chewin’ gum. She ain’t never gonna win another spittin’ competition like thet!’

‘Y’see Buford, thet there is yore p’oblem! Hiram ain’t changed in the wrong way, but he’s got hisse’f responsibilities now, an’ he cain’t go traipsin’ roun’ the countryside with us liken he useta.’ He leaned forward an’ put his han’ on Buford’s knee. ‘Ya gotta try an’ unnerstan’! He ain’t changed, he’s got responsibilities, an’ thet means he cain’t jest be the same ol’ Hiram, otherwise he cain’t do his job.’

Buford, he shooken his haid. ‘I dunno, Abner, I really don’ know. Bubba bin livin’ in the big city a mighty long time, an’ he ain’t changed!’

‘But thet’s cuz he ain’t got no responsibilities! Also, he ain’t got no eddication, like Hiram, so it don’ make no nevermin’ with him.’ He waved his hat again. Pesky flies! ‘Thet ain’t t’ say nuthin bad  ‘bout Bubba, but he ain’t important like Hiram. ‘sides, when they go inta town they gotta wear shoes, cuz he’s the Mayor now, an’ she’s his wife. She don’ shave under her arms cuz she thanks she’s special, it’s cuz they expect it in Memphis. Y’all gonna see, one day them hairs are gonna be back like they wus never gone.’

Hiram, he come down through the bushes t’ the crickside an’ said, ‘Whut you boys jawin’ ‘bout?’ He wus a’so wavin’ his hat on account a the flies, but it warn’t no straw hat, no sirree. This wus a Fedora, on a them fancy big city hats! Buford an’ Abner looked at each other, suspicious like: Maybe Buford wus right, an’ he wus changin’. ‘Whut dja think a thisyere hat, boys? The governor done give it t’me when I wen’ t’ Memphis, but I ain’t so shore. She shore is purty, but I don’ thank it suits me, ‘cept fer special ‘ccasions.’

Well, Buford an’ Abner looked at each other again: maybe they wus wrong! This shore sounded like the ol’ Hiram. ‘I’m thankin’ a fixin’ corks t’ thisyere hat, like they do in Australia. It keeps the flies off.’

‘Where in tarnation is Australia?’ asked Buford.

‘Near Germany, Buford,’ said Abner, a’ways wantin’ t’ show his schoolin’.

‘That ain’t zackly right, Abner,’ said Hiram. He done bin t’ college: he had him a real eddication! ‘I thank mebbe y’all thankin’ a Austria, thet’s in Europe, near Germany. Australia is ‘nother place a’together, an’ it’s even hotter’n here!’

Buford, he’s got them big goggly eyes, well them eyes wus as big as saucers now. ‘Cain’t be no place anywhere hotter’n this!’

‘Well, I ain’t bin there, but they say it’s so hot there, that when you pee, it don’ even touch the groun’: it jest clean evaporates!’

Buford’s eyes wus like saucers now. ‘Man, that shorely is hot!’

Well, Hiram, he set hisself down against one a them trees, an’ sighed, real contented like. ‘Ya know whut, boys? I miss this, jes’ settin’ here an’ jawin’ with you boys. Bein’ Mayor ain’t all it’s made out t’ be. Why jest t’ other night, I had t’ mosey out to McDonalds, cus the high school wus havin’ their prom, and their tractors wus blockin’ off th’ whole parkin’ lot!’ He shooken his haid. ‘I made peace with ever’one, but it ain’t easy, I tell you.’

‘An’ Loretta’s pregnant, so she cain’t chaw baccy no more; she’s gotta chew gum now, an’ she cain’t spit worth a damn.’ He sighed real heavy like. ‘I’m right happy she’s pregnant, but I miss the soun’ a the spit hittin’ th’ spittoons, I kin tell you.’

‘An lemme tell you boys, city life ain’t whut it’s made out t’ be. People say ifn ya don’ leave th’ holler an’ git yorese’f a eddication, you’ll never amoun’ to nothin’, and that ain’t true. Billi Bob, he ain’t never left the holler, and when his daddy died, they done tol’ him he wouldn’ amount to nothing ifn he stayed here. Well I kin tell you, thet ain’t true. He’s got his pappy’s spread and nine dogs! You wanna tell me thet ain’t impressive?’

The boys shooken their heads. Thet wus pretty impressive right there. ‘So, you gonna take the Mayor’s double wide?’ asked Abner.

‘Nope,’ said Hiram. ‘Me, I’m a man of the people, so I’ll stay right there in my cabin, where the folks kin see me anytime. Thet’s whut it means t’ be Mayor: responsibility. An’ the money ain’t bad. In fact, I thank it’s time I took you boys to McDonalds fer a real fancy meal. They don’ serve beer, but we kin take our own, cuz I’m Mayor now. Whut do ya say, boys?’

Buford, he looked at Abner, an’ Abner he looked at Buford, then Abner said. ‘We gonna have t’ go home firs’ t’ put on our Sunday go ta meetin’ clothes, cuz thet place is real fancy.’

‘Naw!’ said Hiram. ‘Jes’ put on shoes, you’ll be fine.’

Well, Buford, he done give a big ol’ smile. Hiram, he din’ seem t’ have changed atall, an’ thet wus good all roun’. They made their way up t’ their cabins an’ put on their shoes an’ traipsed inta town an’ my oh my, thet there McDonalds clean took their breath away. They done heerd ‘bout places like this, but never seen ‘em.

It wus real fancy with them lights an’ shiny thangs everwhere, like Hollywood or sumpin’. An’ the ladies there wus dressed up all fancy, they felt right outa place, but Hiram, bein’ Mayor an’ all, he made shore everbody treated ‘em with respect. They done never tasted food like this neither, an’ it wus jes’ wunnerful all roun’, fer both Abner an’ Buford an’ the Hiram upped an’ paid fer their food an’ beers as well. Well, thet jes’ about made their day!

Hiram stayed on ta jaw with th’ folks ‘bout Mayor stuff an’ Abner an’ Buford made their way back down t’ th’ holler, an’ Buford, he said. ‘Y’know, Abner, I’m plumb glad t’say I wus wrong ‘bout Hiram. He’s a good man an’ a good frien’.’ He nodded, all wise like, then got all excited agin. ‘Man, thet place, she shore wus fancy! Y’ see them folks sittin’ in their cars and gittin’ food? Thet shore is s’phisticated, it shore is.’ An’ he sighed, real contented like. ‘I thank I’m gonna git me some corks fer my hat, then I kin also be sophisticated.’

Abner, he nodded. ‘Thet soun’s like a mighty fine idea, Buford, mighty fine.’

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
4 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Niekie van Heerden
Ubuntu - What Ubuntu?

Reading how the ANC government spends money on housing, travel, security and food, while there are millions of people, that voted them into power, who go hungry every day, makes me sick! Read more...

0 comments 0 views
Submitted by
Lee Grandmaison
What is love? Baby don't hurt me...

A simple word, it has so many different meanings, many of which are very, very 'deep,' to so many different people. Read more...

0 comments 0 views
Submitted by
b.agnostic
16 Days of Activism – A Travesty

Roughly 4 % of the year we try not to be too mean to the two most beautiful things on earth. Read more...

3 comments 284 views
Submitted by
Rochelle Sastri
Where have we failed?

In a few days, the 16 days of activism against women and child abuse starts. Read more...

4 comments 147 views
Submitted by
atheitisgodfrey
What colour of car do you drive?

Black or white? Google is my friend and I found that some interesting research has been done into this issue. Read more...

23 comments 1438 views
Submitted by
hzcummi
The Truth of Genesis: The Sad Tr...

This is the second chapter of six of the series. In Genesis chapter ten, just as Ham failed to instruct Canaan, Cush failed to instruct Nimrod, who ended up wanting other men to worship him as a god. Read more...

69 comments 2273 views

Jobs in Cape Town [change area]

Property [change area]

Travel - Look, Book, Go!

Magical Massinga

Spend 5 nights at the gorgeous Massinga Beach Lodge in Mozambique and only pay for 4 from R13 220 per person sharing. Includes return flights, accommodation, transfers and romantic turndown. Book now!

Kalahari.com - shop online today

Festive gifts!

Check out our awesome range of festive gifts to make everyone’s wishes come true. Shop now!

Seen something you like in our catalogue?

Find the perfect gift and save up to R5000 – As seen on the catalogue. Hurry and shop now!

Save up to R2200 on electronics! – As seen in the catalogue

Wishing for tech gadgets this festive? Save up to R2100 on hot tech products at kalahari.com. While stocks last. Shop now!

Up to 35% off books

Save up to 35% on the latest page-turners. While stocks last. Shop now!

Good Morning, Mr Mandela by Zelda la Grange

Good Morning, Mr Mandela tells the extraordinary story of how a young woman had her life, beliefs, prejudices and everything she once believed in utterly transformed by the greatest man of her time. Now R221. Pre-order now!

OLX Free Classifieds [change area]

Samsung Galaxy s4

Mobile, Cell Phones in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 24

Best bargain in big bay

Real Estate, Houses - Apartments for Sale in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

VW Golf 6, 1.6 Trendline (Excellent condition)

Vehicles, Cars in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2014 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.








Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.