PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
NoolKop
 
Comments: 24
Article views: 930
 
 
Latest Badges:


 
View all NoolKop's badges.
 

Minister says Afrikaner men own their wives...sells self down river.

28 February 2013, 10:00

So I see the Minister of Women, Children and People with Disabilities reckons that Afrikaner men grow up learning that their women and children are their property. As in we own our spouses and kids. Sort of like you own a TV, except you also get to make them fetch you things like braai tongs and beer. Or is that Klippies and Coke? I struggle to fit into my own stereotype sometimes, but hey, whatcha gonna do?

Anyway, the Minister's statement was news to me, even though I did grow up in the quintessential Afrikaner Calvinist household. As an example, consider that my mother made sure we went to Sunday school, every Sunday, without fail, even though she got to skip church herself. I hated it, because if God really loved me he’d let me have Sundays off like it said in the Bible, but when you go to the brass tacks of the thing, really, my mother was god. This arrangement was pretty much de rigueur in our immediate circle, as far as I could make out. My pals also hated Sunday school but their mothers made them go. Like me, they had Fathers who sympathised, but daren’t go against the wishes of the true ruler of their fates. So we all went school on Sundays while our Fathers mowed lawns or washed cars or peeled potatoes for Sunday lunch. Dad did not seem to know that he owned my mother. I guess he never got the memo.

One can see, then, that it was with much glee that I learned yesterday that I own my wife and children (think “Whooop, There it is!”) Granted, she’s English and we speak English at home and both my sons are English and when we visit my mom she speaks English to everyone but me, and virtually all of our(read her) friends are English, but that’s neither here nor there. It certainly is not any sort of indication that I’ve forgone all my rights as an Afrikaner boy. After all, I own them bithces, right?

This new arrangement poses a number of questions, though. For starters, how does on determine a fair price for the old ball and chain?  Is it sort of a willing buyer willing seller kind of a deal? I hope not because that did not work out so well with the whole land restitution thing, so now they are making laws to get rid of all that nonsense to instead make it a “just and equitable” setup. I confess I’ve no idea what that means since it seems to me to be pretty much the same thing as market-related pricing, but hey, if the market ain’t selling then what is a market-related price? Is the Government going to do the same thing for wives, then? What if I want to sell my wife, but no-one wants to buy her? How low can I go before she’s no longer priced justly and equitably? Say I do not get a fair price, would a straight swap be feasible? But then, what if I don’t like the new wife? Is there going to be a waiting period before I can sell the new one on? Or does it make more sense to have a built-in cool off period like you have when you buy a house? What about the kids? Does one sell them as individuals or more of a package deal? Maybe a buy one, get one free type of promotion? What if you have three?

Also, how do I broach this subject with her? Until now we’ve been operating under the assumption that we’re equals, two adults who consented to living together and sharing the joys and burdens of life because we happen to love one another. Obviously, that shit is over now, but I don’t quite know how to inform her that she’s my property. She’s bound to object, and vociferously so. I’d like to avoid that, if at all possible, since she could talk the hind legs of a donkey once she get started in on this. I reckon we’re talking two weeks at the least...

In fact, come to think of it, this may not be worth it after all. Is it OK if I keep thinking of my wife as the center around which revolves my entire universe, much like Sheldon Cooper’s spot on the couch? That she owns me in much the same way as I am supposed to own her, only exponentially more so since I happen to love her more than any material value I can conceive?

Minister, will that be ok?

Minister, are you there?

Guess she's been sold then. Lobolla, I think it's called.

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
24 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Merry Martin
Theists, please stop explaining!

SilverBack wrote a series of rebuttal articles recently, and one of the issues he raised was the scene where God instructs Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, only to rescind that instruction at the last minute.  Read more...

227 comments 1724 views
Submitted by
MyNews24 delay

We have been receiving your photos and stories but at the moment we're experiencing technical difficulties and are unable to publish them. But there is a way to get heard. Read more.  Read more...

0 comments 308 views
Submitted by
Luthando Taitai
Let's appreciate them while they ...

There is a tendency of only showing appreciation of someone when they are gone, how many people go to bed everyday deprived this important token. Read more...

1 comments 481 views
Submitted by
Joe Johnson789
Celebrity deaths bring violent cr...

The eyes of the world were on South Africa for about ten months the trial of Oscar Pistorius lasted. It was reported as one of the most watched media events in recent history. Read more...

9 comments 959 views
Submitted by
Manny Obi-Wan Meyer
The pleasure of finding things ou...

I have often wondered how the events of my past have structured my life in the present, my various skills and propensities, my way of reflecting upon the world at large. Read more...

12 comments 694 views
Submitted by
capetowndoll
God is tangible

I am writing this to let every atheist know what happened to me when I was deeply concerned about my mother. Read more...

421 comments 4924 views

Jobs in Cape Town [change area]

Property [change area]

Travel - Look, Book, Go!

Magical Massinga

Spend 5 nights at the gorgeous Massinga Beach Lodge in Mozambique and only pay for 4 from R13 220 per person sharing. Includes return flights, accommodation, transfers and romantic turndown. Book now!

Kalahari.com - shop online today

Save up to R2100 on electronics! – As seen in the catalogue

Wishing for tech gadgets this festive? Save up to R2100 on hot tech products at kalahari.com. While stocks last. Shop now!

Toys 4 for the price of 3

Buy 4 toys and get the cheapest FREE! Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

Seen something you like in our catalogue?

Find the perfect gift and save up to R5000 – As seen on the catalogue. Hurry and shop now!

Mind blowing deals on electronics!

Save up to 35% on electronics. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

Hot offer: Up to 50% off irons

Save up to 50% on all Philips irons. While stocks last. Shop now!

OLX Free Classifieds [change area]

Samsung Galaxy s4

Mobile, Cell Phones in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 24

Best bargain in big bay

Real Estate, Houses - Apartments for Sale in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

VW Golf 6, 1.6 Trendline (Excellent condition)

Vehicles, Cars in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2014 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.








Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.