So in two weeks it will be my beautiful mothers 4th birthday since she passed. This time of year is always the hardest. Starting from around August when it’s my own birthday. I am never in a good mood on my birthday because she always used to be the first person to phone and wish me a happy birthday. I still find myself waiting for the call and probably always will.
So she passed away on the 6 of June 2010. It was a time in South Africa where most people were celebrating the opening of the 2010 Fifa world cup, being happy and excited about the upcoming spectacle.
My mom was diagnosed with cancer and bravely put up a fight through chemotherapy and all the treatment. It was incredible to see how tough, strong and focused she was. Then the day came that I saw it go away, it was over and the cancer had won the fight. On the day of the opening ceremony of the 2010 Fifa World Cup it was my mom’s funeral.
Many things have changed since her passing and too many family relationships have been lost. I suppose in many ways she was the fundamental glue that kept us all together. I have distanced myself from some of my siblings and family members not out of anger or hate but because of the constant reminder of ……… them around the time my mom passed.
I remember at the funeral I was the only one that didn’t cry and was the only one that never cried. I was almost made to feel like something was wrong with me and that I never really cared. I just didn’t feel the need to cry, I in turn wanted to celebrate my mom’s life not mourn her death. I think about her daily and miss her dearly. It’s hard because I wish she was here so I could just tell her that I was becoming a dad. I’m sure she would have been very proud and happy for me.
This year has been the best since she passed and I think I have many people to thank for their support. My girlfriend Lounel for showing me that I can be loved by someone special and that love really does exist, for giving me back the ability to trust in the opposite sex and for always encouraging me to do what I love. To my sister Sebrine I will always be thankful for your friendship and support through my darkest moments. I love you sis. Then I am thankful to all my friends, William, Lafras and all the rest for putting up with all my nonsense.
So once again on the 11th of November I am sure I will be having a celebration of your life and i won’t be mourning your death. Maybe put on some of your favourite songs and uncork a bottle of Four Cousins. Love and miss you mom R.I.P
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