MyNews24 is a user-generated section of The stories here come from users.

Narian Chengiah Naidoo
Comments: 3
Article views: 1548
Latest Badges:

View all Narian Chengiah Naidoo's badges.

Monica Lewinsky Released from Detention

12 March 2014, 07:12

Jacob Zuma was carrying his African National Congress membership card when he has a heart attack and dies. He goes to Hell where the Devil is waiting for him wearing black, green and gold outfit, the brand name which belongs to the African National Congress.

I don't know what to do, says the Devil. "You are on my list but I have no room for you. But you definitely have to stay here, so I will tell you what I am going to do. I have got three people here who weren't quite as bad as you, a serial liar, a cheat and a thief. I will let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I will even let you decide who leaves." Jacob Zuma thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed.

The Devil opened the first room. In it was Blade Nzimande and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed over and over and over, such was his fate in Hell. 

"No," Jacob Zuma said. "I don't think so. I am not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."

The Devil led him to the next room. In it was Zwelinzima Vavi with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swinging that hammer, time after time after time.

"No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented Jacob Zuma.

The Devil opened a third door. In it, Jacob Zuma saw Julius Malema lying naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.

Jacob Zuma looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."

The Devil smiled and said, "Monica, you are free to go."

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received. publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
Comments have been closed for this article.

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Thomas Hill Jr.
Reflections on BEE

I am not going to point fingers at those who have attained more wealth than they deserve while other, black South Africans remain trapped in desolate poverty. Read more...

0 comments 322 views
Submitted by
Wof Comms
Limpopo is burning

“About 70 000 hectares lost to wildfires as fire fighters battle multiple fires in Limpopo” Read more...

0 comments 225 views
Submitted by
Angus Douglas
Private Car Ownership is Dead

Only two things warrant extreme urgency – when you’re heart stops beating, or you can’t breathe.  Read more...

0 comments 705 views
Submitted by
Linamandla Mpolase
Politics of ideology or realism

I have been an avid follower of the University Revolutions taking place all over South Africa. However the concern for me came after the defacing of the statues and protests in institutions became a monthly event. Read more...

0 comments 167 views
Submitted by
My Invincible Disease

This disease has taken so much from me, we really need a cure, we really need help to just live a normal life.  Read more...

0 comments 2986 views
Submitted by
JoPro Blog
EcoMobility: The Un-Trained I

Sandton is perfectly poised become the eco-hub it so richly deserves to be: one that is thriving, fluid and mobile, with an eco-echo resounding. Read more...

0 comments 778 views


E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on Android Get the latest from News24 on your Android device.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

TV Get us in your home, on your television.

Interactive Advertising Bureau
© 2015 All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.


Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.

Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire network.


Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.

Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.