Mother's day is for the children…
Sunday is Mother’s Day and unlike last year this time I will awake with a momentus ‘mummy’ smile on my face. I recall with pain my first Mother’s Day since becoming divorced last year, when my youngest looked up at me and said, ‘But Mummy, we didn’t get you anything’. I immediately saw the disappointment in his eyes and how such a simple oversight on my part had left him feeling so inadequate. While I had been wallowing in self pity over my new circumstances, I had been in no mood to do anything celebratory, especially for myself. And it was this selfishness that had deprived not only my boys from expressing their affection for me, but prevented me from appreciating the wonderful day.
Two weeks ago Akshar needed to take cardboard and crepe paper to school to make ‘something special’, and I knew that this year I had to do things differently. When he asked me, ‘Mummy what do you want for Mother’s Day?’, this time instead of saying ‘You don’t need to get me anything, I already have all I need,’ I said, ‘Well, when I find something I really want, I will tell you,’ and instantly his face lit up in anticipation of what that would be.
While reading a copy of a local community newspaper, a glossy shoe pamphlet caught my eye. And there they were, the most amazing pair of boots I’d seen this season. I showed my boys what I wanted, then bought the boots myself. Even though some of my friends couldn’t understand how I could be buying myself a gift and mocked the gesture, I felt totally vindicated when Zoe who grew up in a single parent household told me, ‘If only my Mum had done that for me, as I hated Mother’s Day as I could never afford to get my Mum anything and always felt so left out. Even though I can spoil her now, it doesn’t make up for all those lost years.’
As a single parent I am proud of raising two kids by myself, and salute all mothers like me out there. I am even more proud of single Fathers who have crossed all barriers and are successfully raising their kids by themselves. Being both a Mother and Father to a child is tremendously daunting and I am most grateful for the unwavering support from my family and friends who have stood by me.
It really is the little things that mean the most.