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My USA trip (part 1)

16 August 2012, 10:50

I have been contemplating on whether I should tell you guys about my 8 month trip to the USA in 2009. So I will start with this one and if you like to hear more let me know and I’ll continue, I personally think it`s better than the everyday religion, politics and bemoaning we have on here every day.

First let me give you a bit of back-round about me, you will appreciate it as we get deeper into to it. I was raised in an Afrikaans Christian home, went to a model C school, very hoity doughty kind of school. I was in hostel for most of my senior years and started working in retail straight after school. I was in sales for 12 years before this opportunity come along. Before I went to the USA I have managed to set up home 3 times, so one could say I’m very adaptable and don’t walk on past bridges that has been burned. Great I think this would give you an idea as to how the story will follow.

Like most kids when leaving school at that time, 1999, we all wanted to go to the UK for 2 years and “explore” the big world. I wasn’t that fortunate so I ended up working. Then when my younger sister came to me and told me about this opportunity, I simply couldn’t resist. This is what I have wanted to do for so long and the price was right. I was bored at work, the economy started falling apart and I needed a change. So I resigned and started the process of joining the moving carnivals in the United States of Fekking America, who`s your daddy!!!

So after all the run around in getting the documents and medicals sorted, I got my visa and the wait started. Fortunately I had loads to sort before I could leave, so I didn’t get bored. Finally the day arrived and we were off to Cape Town International to board for OR Tambo, first stop over. After running like a wild goose with no head at OR Tambo we met the other half of the group that were to go with us on this exercise. Well we didn’t know who they were but we had a suspicion. Finally after 4 smoke breaks we got onto our Airbus 380 destined for JFK International Airport, New York. But not so fast, we had a stop-over in Dakar, Senegal. Let me tell you what a sight that is, it looks almost like a small town here back home with yellow street light and all the buildings is flat, nothing fancy, just there, blugh. Finally after the 1.30 stop-over we are crossing the Atlantic Ocean on our final stretch. Thoughts of seeing Lady Liberty overwhelms me and I get very excited. Now bare in mind we left Cape Town in the hot summer days of February, it doesn’t get closer to hell to us Capetonians than that.

We arrive at JFK finally, 9.00 in the morning. Thirst thing comes to mind after this 18 hour flight, where the hell can I go smoke? Go thru border control, hack a couple of jokes with the NYPD officer and everything goes smoothly. Right no searching or anything, walk straight thru and find your smoking spot. Remember this is February, Capetonians aren`t use to anything besides Cape Town and our mountain. I politely ask one of the officials, FBI, CIA, NYPD, KKK, not sure which one, they all talk the same and look at you funny like you are from somewhere else.   Never the less I see a door leading to the outside and I run, like Forest, I ran for gold. In my plakkies and shorts with a jersey.  I’m outside and try to get the cigarette lit. Man you must have balls of steel if you think it is easy getting a fire close to your siggie in the middle of November in New York. I probably had 4 drags and that was it. Head rush of note and frost bite from head to toes, literally. My sister sees me and follows, this time I’ll go prepared.

Right next flight boards in 6 hours to Raleigh, a little bit to the south, about 1.30 flight time. Now let me warn you first, this airline doesn’t have our superior pilots, no, I think they all ex navy pilots, more specific, ex Iraq fighter pilots. On take-off, you fasten your seat belt and you do not take it off, I don’t care if you have a number 1 or 2 or 3 for that matter, you keep it in!!! Five minutes before landing the pilot warns you, (Ding Dong) we will be landing in the next 5 minutes, please fasten your seat belts, thank you for flying, blah blah blah. Two minutes later, you nose dive, 15 000 foot in the air to landing height in your best scoring time possible, winner gets a deep fried Twinkie bar, I kid you not. My genitals were wrapped up by chin and my hands were juggling my heart and kidneys per say. Luckily by knowledge I knew the next flight wouldn`t have the same pilot. Safely on the ground.

Thank you for reading so far, let me know.

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