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Elizabeth Harlington
 
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My Whacky World

09 January 2014, 08:21

 

TEENAGERS


No matter where in the world you go today, these teenagers are everywhere. Its almost like they're an epidemic and their main goal is to take over the world one day. Some have these awful things sprouting from their faces which I think is their form of reproduction. They call them Zits or Pimples. (Tip #1: if in doubt of their reproductive abilities, these Sproutlings can be eradicated by using poisons such as Face Wash or Tip#2: Denying them food and drink which contain preservatives). All day long, these teenagers sit smsing on their cell phones talking Crap (A 'Crude, Rubbish, Atrocious ,Pathetic' language) . Worse, they could be talking to their mothership asking yet again for reinforcements of R100 notes. They're a thieving bunch too! They steal swear words from adults, tantrums from toddlers, moodiness from menopausal morons and 'grunts' from pigs to name but a few. Why are we allowing this to happen in our world? We need to find a way of getting rid of these awful creatures.


One way may be to send them to school. That will teach them a lesson or two. We can surround the schools with high fences and walls and place guards at each entrance. This will prevent other people from trying to smuggle them out. We can torture them with things such as Mathematics and Proper English. Throw in the odd Science or Chemistry lesson and their brains will ignite with knowledge. We could even give them rules to live by. The sweet smell of brainwashing a teenager - My mouth is salivating at the thought of their grey matter swelling with information.


The only problem with sending them to school would be the corruption and lack of discipline from those teenagers who managed to escape school. These teenagers creep through the ranks and eventually take the form of bosses and in some cases, Government Ministers or Presidents. They allow Crap to be taught in school limiting our ability to brainwash teenagers to a higher level.


Another way to eradicate the typical teenager might be to teach manners and values at home. When they're cheeky, send them to the shopping malls with their friends – with a really old cell phone. That way they'll be too embarrassed to talk Crap all the time. Being unable to talk Crap will mean them talking Proper English which in turn will lead to their being seen by other teenagers as an outcast. Having no friends means they spend more time with their families. Punishment is sweet.


This whole teenager thing is frightening. Sometimes you don't know where to turn. Just when you think you have the answer, you wake up the next day and see that these sly, devious, manipulating, cheeky, disgusting teenagers have mutated into something else – 18 year old legal adults – who have rights! No! Its time to stand together and get rid of these teenagers before its too late!

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