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My former friends with benefits

12 January 2013, 19:36

Once upon a time in Eldo’s my friends ate my pap and vleis. I was very upset cause when I bought it I asked them if they want and they said no, but when I left them for a few minutes they smashed it.

That was easily five years ago and I remember it so clearly cause I was really naar, and hungry. And that dish was lekker, still is. Now me, I like my women like I like my pap and vleis, to myself. Not the best likeness but you know what I am getting at, right. Jou ding is mos jou ding…

But not only do I eat the pap, I like a variety of lekker things and it so happens this year that I indulged, and yes, I ate the apple tree, the peach tree and the lemon tree of lust lust lust. (Parlotones J)

Enough about the food though and let’s call a spade a spade, a woman a woman, specifically two of them  - Deloris and Mildred (I changed their names for my protection). One knew what she wanted and the other thought she knew what she wanted. Mxm.

The real benefit of a friend with benefits is the freedom to have it when you want it, and how you want it mos, but emotions get involved like bbm emoticons on simple yes or no messages, you know mos.

Deloris had a schedule and a kid - just like Mildred, and just like 90% of coloured girls I know, so ‘we’ had to work around this. Playtime, school meetings, family outings etc.etc. it really does mess with one’s ‘knitting’.

So Deloris -  I call her, I fetch her, we knit, and we cuddle. I like cuddling, and this is apparently not a feature when it comes to just knitting. Anyway, I became clingy and really liked her style. She had it all, the looks, the talks and the skill. Think toe curlers. (Please note, this is standard fwb specifications)

Sadly, she ended it cause why, she wanted to knit only and I wanted more. Looking back though it was the right thing to do, more right than paying your TV licence (and believe me, I broadcast more than the SABC). Lesson learnt, good sex is not love, and good sex is not everything. Yes ok it took a while to convince myself that the latter is true but hey, when you say it enough times to the mirror, the belief does settle in.

Next up is Muriel and I explain to her nicely, I say girla,girla, I just want one thing but for that one thing I WILL TREAT YOU RIGHT. And I do, I take her to work, I fetch her, we eat the sushi and we knit, we cuddle, but we (actually only me) understand that it’s mos only a knitting session. But I was with her everyday and I was, essentially, a boyfriend. *Bbm hand over face* 

So along comes Mildred and I explain this situation (me and Muriel) to her (after we knitted of course) and she (Mildred) agrees to BEING MY NUMBA 2.Good lawd!! Happy days were back again and YES, I now know better than before that good sex is everything especially when it just falls in your lap. *bbm big smile*

And for a while all I did was knit and juggle, one weekend Free State, the next Sun City, then Witbank, life was good.

Muriel was becoming suspicious about these alternate weekends away (I call it work) while Milly (yes Mildred) wanted more than just to be NUMBER 2. In fact they both wanted more but I could not understand how this once very understanding temptress (Milly) was losing sight of the knitting only meetings. *bbm shaking my head*

It’s the magic stick I tell myself. Ek maak hulle mal. High fiving myself here. Mmm, is te lekker. Te te lekker.

Well it all came to an abrupt end when Mildred told Muriel (ya via facebook nogal) and for a few days I was sexless. What went wrong? Why me? How do I get her back, and her back? Eish…

In essence, I believe, there is no way a man or a woman can sustain such a relationship for long. A month, maybe a year, and someone does become a little bit more attached than the other ne. julle ken mos.

There is no happy ending, but an ending there must be. I know.  The reason I am not with Deloris or Mildred is because rules were made, they were broken, and once boundaries are crossed the benefit my friends, is not as sweet as it used to be.

Well maybe, maybe not…

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received. publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

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