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CommonSense
 
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My lekker Sunday

17 March 2013, 19:00

My lekker Sunday...

So yesterday, being Saturday evening at around 18:30, the wife hears a strange sound emanating from "somewhere".

Naturally Captain Courageous grabs a torch to check it out...its making almost a low whine or muffled knock of sorts.

"Water pipe is just moaning" I state blandly, as I peruse the outside of the house.

Lo and behold, the back garden is flooded and I'm walking through a few centimeters of water behind the guest bathroom. As I shine the torch to ground, it would appear I have found the true fountain of life.

Fresh water is bubbling up out of mother Earth like some sort of gift from above...the difference is I am paying for this.

So I check out the municipal water meter outside my property, and the little numbers are going round like crazy, almost like the wheels of winning numbers on the Lucky 7 gambling machines.

Back to the garage and I grab a spanner to shut that mother down...no one should be wasting water right??

Confidently I stroll back in the house and chirp the wife "problem solved, tomorrow I will sort it out." Wife enquires what have I done, I explain in smug detail "I closed the municipal valve". I get a cold look cast my way...

Right... no running water for our house, there will be k@k coming my way. So back outside, reopen the valve. Run a couple of buckets full for flushing toilets, washing face and hands etc. Fill all jugs in the house for kettle water, cooking etc. Problems solved, tomorrow should be a quick fix I think positively, knowing deep down Im bullshi..ing myself.

Come Sunday morning Im up at around 05:00, do a quick inspection, see no more bubbling water which is always a good sign. I fart arse around for around 3 hours waiting for the sun to come out proper and dry the dew from the grass, like thats gonna help at all before I begin project "water fix".

I come from a construction backgound so I have around 10 barrows, spades, forks and picks etc at my disposal.

So I start digging at the closest pipe to the leak. I dig and dig, then dig some more, around 45 mins later I am still nowhere near the leak, I might be sweating like a mother, but Ive only managed to fill three barrows with loose soil...I am fairly confident in my progress.

Time for a smoke break / coffe / recovery etc. When one is 40 plus, you need to pace yourself I think softly....and Rome wasn't built in a day, and nor are RDP houses.

So around half hour later I attack the problem on hand with renewed vigour, numerous cups of coffee give you the required boost in case you're wondering. Around 1 hour later, I have the "hole", it's just before a 90 degree elbow in 40 year old galvanised pipe, about 1 meter under the ground and 2 meters away from the house.

It is a tiny little hole...can this be the cause of my heartburn for the past 12 hours ? I get wife to open the municipal water just to double check the exact location...strict instruction are given, "5 seconds open, then close the water", all is well until wife opens the meter, ja it is the right hole I've found, but holy sh!t 5 seconds is loooong, I now have a meter wide and deep hole fairly filled with lekker brown mud water. I get some buckets, drain the hole, this is turning into a fu%^ing awesome Sunday man!!

"Yes man" is the term I often use when life throws a curve ball, this is again gonna be one of those day...

Off to Builders Warehouse I go, time to get some Wrapflex joints, and I will be back to water wise in a jiffy....ja right. The queue is ridiculous, the traffic is ridiculous and my patience is getting thin by now.

Back home around an hour later, I place the clamp on that little "mothaf$&$" hole...I am covered in mud, grass and rust from the old sh!tty pipes etc, and the sun is baking down on my head and neck with no mercy...I know its fixed, right? Maybe I can recover from the k@k start to my Sunday.

Back outside, open the water meter, stroll back to the "pit of hell" in the back garden. It looks good I think confidently, everything is very wet in the "pit" though so I wrap my hand around the pipe and feel for any water gushing out...Oh crap, there's another hole and this one is pissing of note.

"Yes man " I think quietly aren't I the lucky d00s today.

Shut the water valve, back to Builders, get two more clamps just in case one aint enough, in the queue again, back in the Sunday traffic at 12:30 and back to the "pit".

Whack one clamp on, open the outside valve, etc....f&^k still leaking, whack another clamp on, open the valve etc, and pray, cross fingers and toes...it seems we have fixed it for now. Right so Ive now got six barrow full of soil/mud which will have to wait a few days before being returned to the "pit", as I wanna be sure that leak is fixed good and proper. It will also take a good few days for "el pit" to dry out nicely though.

At least the house can sh!t, shave and shampoo for now though, so "Im the man" again.

So I wanna know was your Sunday as awesome as mine ?

I really hope you had a great one.

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