MyNews24 is a user-generated section of The stories here come from users.

Comments: 23
Article views: 1008
Latest Badges:

View all Irukandji's badges.

My weak heart!

26 March 2014, 07:59

The heading above doesn’t sound as dramatic, or as theatrical in English, as the Afrikaanse: “My swak hart!”  This expression is sometimes used when people hear shocking news, or when they see something really frightening. As we all know, a weak heart can kill you, till you die from it.

Yesterday I sent an e-mail to DA Councillor, Ben Chapman. In it, I complained about a sewage leak in the DA’s Ward 41, in Meyerspark. Raw sheet has been spilling into the street for several months. No one came to repair the leak. Maybe the problem was never reported – I just don’t know.

Now here’s the thing: when you drive past the sewage spill with the car’s windows open, you get a foretaste of what it will be like in Hell. Forget about being cast into the lake that burneth with fire and brimstone – the Hell-Smell of sewage, on the corner of Simon Vermooten and Kent Streets, is the real deal.

I first came into contact with the Hell-Smell some months ago. We were driving home from the shops. The wife was navigating as usual – teaching me to drive – and pointing out various objects which she was convinced I was about to crash into. She’s been doing this for forty-four years.

My driver’s license, which permits me to drive Extra Heavy Load Tank Transporters, and Army Battle Tanks, has never impressed her. She knows best.

But that’s not important right now.

On that fateful day, as I unwittingly drove straight into Hell, all of the car’s windows were wide open. (Let me share a personal secret with you: Few people know this, but my wife is a mean and unkind woman. She can deliver a straight-elbow jab to my ribs, faster than the speed of light. And she does this quite often – especially when I snore at night.)

So: “Whack!” Faster than the speed of light. Two cracked ribs. “Pig!” she shouted. “Right here in the car! How dare you? Have you no shame?”

“Sorry, dear. But that terrible stench is coming from a sewage spill, which you might not have noticed while you were busy navigating me around that last pothole,” was my lame excuse.

“OK. But just so you know: I watching you; so don’t try anything,” she replied.

(Each time after that, I made damn sure that all the windows were tightly closed, long before we got to the Hell-Smell area. This just goes to show that you can teach old dogs new tricks.)

But enough of sharing intimidating stories of my married life with you. As I said before: Yesterday I sent an e-mail to DA Councillor, Ben Chapman. I complained about my cracked ribs the horrible Hell-Smell, in Ward 41. I never thought he would answer, but he did:

“Dear Irukandji (not my real name, ha-ha),

Thank you for being a concerned citizen. I, as the Ward Councillor (Ward 41), am concerned about issues in the area as much as you are.

I would just like to remind you that the state of the Ward can be directly attributed to the ANC led Council. What you see is a direct result of the ANC’s lack of service delivery.

As the DA representative in the area, I engage with Council daily about problems in the Ward. For Example: the sewerage problem on the corner of Kent and Simon Vermooten was reported by me to the ANC led administration. The fact of the matter is, the sewerage pipe was damaged by Telkom and Council and Telkom are fighting between themselves on who should fix the pipe. Council is understaffed, they have little material to fix problems and only have 3 plumbers for the whole Eastern side of Tshwane (24 Wards). Best regards, Cllr Ben Chapman.”

I thought that that would be the last I would hear from him, but I was wrong…

This morning, coming back from another shopping expedition, I had the windows tightly closed as we approached Hell-Smell. The wife was navigating; teaching me to drive; pointing out various dangerous objects on the road… The usual stuff.

Suddenly: “My swak hart!” I screamed.

There were bakkies, and trailers, and cars, and work teams, and people, and politicians, all over the Hell-Smell area! The spill had stopped. And the smell was gone!

I grabbed the camera from my car’s gun glove compartment, and walked straight into what used to be a no breathing zone – taking pictures, while introducing myself to the people and politicians standing at ground zero.

There was Councillor Ben Chapman, whom I recognised from previous election posters. There was Advocate Glynnis Breytenbach, with her charming smile. And there was Dr. J.C. Kloppers-Lourens, DA MP (PBUH), a lovely lady.

Now, you know, and I know, and we both know, separately and collectively, that politicians are not to be trusted. But I can tell you that these three from the DA, are really nice people. They were friendly, down-to-earth, and trying to be helpful – without making empty promises. They didn’t even promise me one of the six million “real” jobs. They are not like Helen at all.

I wanted to tell them about “my swak hart,” and my cracked ribs – but no one seemed interested. They told me that the ANC are terrible when it comes to service delivery. But I already knew that.

In the end, they gave me a blue DA hat as a bribe to vote for them. Unfortunately, the bribery hat is so small; it doesn’t even fit my cat. But I suppose it’s the thought that counts. (Yes, Sakkie, I would have preferred one of those nice blue DA T-shirts, and a box of KFC, Streetwise Feast, 8 pieces. But I don’t qualify – I’m white.)

I shall put the little DA hat on display in my lounge; along with my EFF beret; my AgangSA saddle blanket; and my “I’ll die for Zuma” T-shirt.

We parted company and I drove home with my windows wide open.

My ribs are much better now, thank you very much.

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received. publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
Comments have been closed for this article.

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Michael Ernest Meder
OUTA on EToll Debr

I really believe Outa is "smoking something" - they are now calling EToll laws unjust and irrational, a far cry from their initial stance of lack of public involvement. Read more...

0 comments 282 views
Submitted by
Monika Rohlwink
Medical Aid for pets versus medic...

I think Malema's statement that people are more willing to take out medical aid for their pets than for their employees is grossly exaggerated.  Read more...

0 comments 173 views
Submitted by
John Stoltz
Madiba versus Malema,....or is it...

Dear Mr Malema, how can you ever make a derogatory remark about our beloved Madiba? Read more...

0 comments 142 views
Submitted by
Thulane Che Trosky637
21 Years later of absolutely noth...

South Africans before 1992 was lead to believe that Nelson Mandela deserved to be serving a life sentence apparently because of his ‘high treason’ case and the apparent acts that he committed before being sentence in the 60’s. Read more...

0 comments 61 views
Submitted by
Joshua Glenny
Ballito Drought Solution

I live in Ballito and I have "made a plan" to reduce my water bill. I have installed 3 x 2200l rain water harvesting tanks. Read more...

0 comments 1193 views
Submitted by
Shelly Bowling
The Oscar Pistorius through the e...

The fact forensics determined OP was on his stumps rather than his prosthetics when he fired the gun is the most significant finding. Read more...

0 comments 555 views


E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on Android Get the latest from News24 on your Android device.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

TV Get us in your home, on your television.

Interactive Advertising Bureau
© 2015 All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.


Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.

Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire network.


Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.

Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.