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Irukandji
 
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Mystery solved!

30 May 2014, 14:36

Some great mysteries have baffled researchers for centuries. Mysteries such as the Voynich Manuscript, the Crystal Skulls, the Uffington White Horse, and Showerhead’s Missing Hair.

While researching the amazing, awe-inspiring Fables written by that ancient Geek, Aesop, I stumbled across a clue which might explain the latter mystery: Showerhead’s Missing Hair.

This is Aesop’s tale:

The Man and His Two Wives

“In the old days, when men were allowed to have many wives, a middle-aged Man had one wife that was old and one that was young; each loved him very much, and wanted him for herself. Now the Man’s hair was turning grey, which the young Wife did not like, as it made him look too old for her husband. So every night she used to comb his hair and pick out the white ones. But the elder Wife saw her husband growing grey with great pleasure, for she did not like to be mistaken for his mother. So every morning she used to arrange his hair and pick out as many of the black ones as she could. The consequence was the Man soon found himself entirely bald.”

And there you have it! A marvellous breakthrough!

Imagine what would happen if the man in the fable had as many wives, concubines, and mistresses, as our own dear Showerhead. He would have no hair on his head (or anywhere else, for that matter) within two days!

And now that we’ve solved this mystery, let’s get on with the real reason that I’ve posted the article.

I’ve had a request from Mr. Edward Teach (PBUH), to upload a recipe for a Biltong Potjie. As you well know: when Mr. Teach requests something, you’d better comply with his request as a matter of some urgency, or walk on a *plank. And from experience, I can tell you that planks don’t like being walked on. So here is the recipe:

Biltong Potjie

I use a number 3 potjie, and cook over gas. But if you’re into playing with fire, go right ahead, use coals. (You’re going to wet the bed, Sakkie. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!)

In my earlier days, during my misspent middle-ages, I have found that Rum and Coke make fine companions to this culinary dish. (See if you can finish the bottle before the potjie is ready to eat. It will put you in a fine fettle – I guarantee it.)

Ingredients

·         6 medium onions, sliced and diced

·         enough crushed garlic to make your friends and loved ones hate you for a week

·         1 packet (400-500 grams) mushrooms, sliced (those big brown, poisonous-looking ones)

·         500 gram beef biltong, finely sliced

·         1 green pepper, cut and diced

·         1 x 410ml tin whole kernel corn (pitmielies), drained

·         2 cans 200ml fresh cream

·         lots of grated cheddar cheese – the more, the merrier

·         1 packet noodles (screw or shell type), cooked before you start the potjie

·         dried mixed herbs

·         ground pepper

·         oil (SAE 20W-50, if you’re a real man – 10W-30, if you’re a pissy)

Method

·         Fry the onions, mushrooms, and garlic, in a little oil

·         Add mixed herbs and ground pepper to taste

·         Add half of the biltong and stir well

·         Put half of the cooked noodles on top of that

·         Sprinkle the other half of the biltong on top of the noodles

·         Add the other half of the noodles on top of the biltong

·         Sprinkle the green pepper and the “pitmielies” on top of the noodles

·         Add the two cans of fresh cream

·         Sprinkle the cheddar cheese on top

·         Put the lid on the potjie

Stand back – it’s in the hands of the gods now.

(Cook for about one hour over low to medium heat until the cheese has melted completely. Don’t let the cream burn. Burnt cream tastes baaad! )

Serve with a green salad and a body full of red wine.

Enjoy.

*plank – also known as: rockspider, or, hairyback

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