Ladies and Gentlemen we are not alone.
In previous weeks Sports Minister Fikile Mbalula, in all irony landed himself in a deep hole. Mbalula was embroiled in a sex scandal with a 27-year-old Johannesburg model. “Reverend” Mbalula who ministers the gospel of safe sex and abstinence, had unprotected sex with a model on two occasions in August. The first encounter was after meeting the girl at a golf day- the minister scored a hole in one.
Dubbed a serial “extortionist” by the minister, the model made headlines when she claimed she was carrying the minister’s child. With the gloves off, he denied that he had sex with the woman saying the woman was deployed by the National Intelligence Agency to tarnish his name ahead of Mangaung.
The National Intelligence Agency is a group of extra terrestrial entities, who invaded planet earth to wreak havoc in parliament. Their modus operandi is simple; deploy hot models to meddle in the lives of politicians. Apart from Mbalula’s case, they even went as far as going to Mauritius; to tailor-make a purple suit of mockery for ANC youth league president, Julius Malema. In the same breath he had several law suits flooding his closet. It’s quite evident that our politicians are incapable of infidelity; unless screwing the country counts as adultery.
But back to the matter at hand, how are these extra terrestrial entities bringing the zips of politicians in jeopardy? To answer this question I have summoned the South African president to open a commission of enquiry into the matter. If push comes to shove, we need to consult the X-files, I’m afraid if this sexual epidemic is not curbed, we may just see more shower heads.
Mankind can not being to fathom the work of external forces controlling out puppet government. Just look at how stupid Malema has been behaving lately, such moronic behaviour is humanly impossible. The only logical explanation for this phenomenon is that an NIA green agent beamed itself into Malema’s vocabulary.
Still remember the unexplained open toilet saga phenomenon in the Democratic Alliance-run Khayelitsha district in the Western Cape and the ANC's Moqhaka municipality in the Free State? According to alien experts from the Department of Human Settlement, aliens from planet Faeces erected these toilets to stain the two opposing parties during the 2011 Local Government Election.
The NIA mother ship has been sighted on several occasions hovering over the Chief Albert Luthuli House in Johannesburg. A soaring vulture in wait of a soon to be carcass ANC, the giant winged predator is also making a meal of The Democratic Alliance in the Midvaal Municipality through allegations of fraud and corruption. The green entities planted evidence of maladministration, which lead to Public Protector Thuli Madonsela releasing a report on a probe into the DA-controlled municipality.
Madonsela’s report found that the municipality failed to collect debt amounting to over R860 000 owed to it by a vendor acting as an agent for the municipality for the sale of prepaid electricity. May God…we have under estimated the workings of these aliens, we should’ve seen the signs when these NIA entities masqueraded as now axed Co-operative Government Minister Sicelo Shiceka, by travelling to Switzerland under false pretences and at state expense, to visit his then girlfriend Phumla Masilela in jail.
Ladies and Gentlemen we are not alone.
The Hawks need to team up with the ghost busters and FBI agents Fox Mulder and Dana Scully , investigators from the X-Files to put an end to these attacks which are politically motivated.
You are probably wondering what was I drinking when I wrote this article or perhaps what should I be drinking instead. Through my article I am trying to convey how absurd some excuses certain officials come up with to justify their mistakes. The only thing alien on this planet is the outlandish excuses that politicians generate to shield their persona from public ridicule and criticism from the media.