It would seem as if every day is a “Day” to be celebrated. We have World Aids Day, St. Valentine's Day, Mothers Day, No Smoking Day, Doris Day (90 years old), World Diabetes Day, Boxing Day, etc, etc.
I did some serious research into this subject (Googled the Wikipedia) and thought that we should incorporate some of these “days” as public holidays in South Africa. (We can afford to lose millions of workdays through strikes and stay-aways, so it will not harm our shrinking economy in the least.)
The first “Day” I found, was 420 Cannabis Culture Day. This is celebrated as a counterculture in North America. 4:20 p.m. is the socially accepted hour of the day to consume cannabis – from there the name. Those of you, who have been imploring the authorities to legalise the weed, should be over the Moon with this holiday. (And ZION will suffer a heart attack before completing his life ambition – 300 “articles.”)
Global Orgasm Day (December 22) – scheduled to coincide with the end of solstice. The idea is for participants throughout the world to have an orgasm during this day; while thinking about peace. (Although I can imagine that THAT must be helluva difficult!)
Black Day (April 14) – an informal South Korean tradition. (Black Day is NOT another BEE initiative.) On this day, single people get together and enjoy jajangmyeon. My understanding of the Korean language is extremely poor, but “jajangmyeon” is probably the Korean word for “orgasm.” Koreans are probably just too *“soo joob uh ha neun” to use the “o” word.
White Day (March 14) – celebrated in Japan, South Korea, Taiwan, and China on March 14; one month after St Valentine’s Day. This holiday, unfortunately, cannot be observed in South Africa due to a lack of racial composition, demographic representivity, and its racist (White) undertones.
Día de la Chupina (Last Friday in April) – students do not attend classes on this day. Fuelled by alcohol consumption, male students harass female students, break into shops to rob and steal merchandise, attack innocent bystanders, and trash private property. Clashes with the police always end in violence.
If we were to celebrate de la Chupina, no one would even notice – it would seem like just another day in the good old Ars of SA – strikes, riots, harassment, rapes, and clashes with our incompetent cops. In other words: business as usual.
Honesty Day (April 30) – on this day you may ask anyone a question and the opposing person must give a truthful and straightforward answer. (On second thoughts: Let’s just skip this day. I cannot, for the life of me, imagine Mac Maharaj, or any of his corrupt communist ANC cronies, giving an honest answer to any question.) What a shame.
Miracle Day (March 3) – to be celebrated in South Africa. On this day, convicted fraudster Schabir Shaik, was released from prison because he was terminally ill. He was sent home to die.
But thanks to the healing powers of the game of golf, his connection with a certain showerheaded person – and various excursions to the shopping mall – Shaik has recovered his health and is still enjoying his freedom. Miracles happen! Hallelujah! Jack was right and the atheists were wrong.
(Please leave comments on days you would like us to celebrate.)
* soo joob uh ha neun – Korean, meaning: shy
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