PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
Tyronehster
 
Comments: 28
Article views: 895
 
 
Latest Badges:



 
View all Tyronehster's badges.
 

News Snippets

03 July 2013, 12:27

Scientists were recently baffled by what appeared to be UFOs; a series of bright lights appearing in the sky over Liverpool, and there were many reputable witnesses to this event, with some good cell phone footage of these strange lights. Upon arriving in Liverpool, the scientists were mortified to find that the clouds had actually lifted and people were, in fact witnessing the stars for the first time.

When they, very patiently, explained this phenomenon to the local populace, one old man remarked that his grandfather had told him of these stars, but things had changed so much since those far-off days, that they immediately feared the worst and called the local constabulary.

Another recalled that he remembered once witnessing something similar in the bygone days of yore when Liverpool FC had been the champion team of England. But that was so far back that many people considered the story to be in the realms of legend.

These are not the only matters puzzling scientists at the moment, however. Since the birth of the Internet, many strange and wonderful things have occurred, not least of these the ability given to people of any class and education, or lack of, to express an opinion on any subject, no matter how little knowledge that person possesses on said subject.  What puzzled scientists the most was the willingness of otherwise intelligent people to display their ignorance in ways only ever seen by characters waiting under a bridge for the Three Billy Goats Gruff.

Moving onto matters cultural: in Pass-under-Water, Somerset, Angus McPuke, with his Highland-bred hens, won the Chicken Trembling Contest, the first time this honour has gone to anyone other than an Englishman.  Judge Scrumper O’Zoider, who has been judging this contest for thirty-three years, said, ‘Oi must zay, Oi nivver thought t’ see th’ day when a furriner could win this contest, but those chickens were tremblin’ loike there war a ferret up them pants, and seein’ as they don’ wear pants, Oi ‘ave t’ say, that’s moighty impressive!’

Angus McPuke, when quizzed on the secret of his success, told assembled reporters, ‘Och aye, well, it’s hard t’ say, really! Livin’ up there in th’ cold an’ damp cannae be too easy, ye ken? An when they come oot here, where it’s like a jungle wi’ the heat an’ all, they start t’ tremblin’ wi sheer happiness!’

One of the local ladies, Granny Smith, accused him of cheating. ‘Whoi, ‘e comes here to Zomerset and brings ‘is freezing chickens, it’s no wonder they be trembling: ‘e’s been feedin’ ‘em zider!’

Police were called to quell the riot that followed.

Closer to home, Kakebeen van Deventer received the ‘Nation Builder of the Year’ award, from none other than President Zuma himself, who commented that if more people were like van Deventer, South Africa would be a better place in which to live. It had been reported that van Deventer regularly took his farm labourers water skiing and it had been reported on by E-News, and the article had been brought to the attention of Jacob Zuma.

When interviewed later, van Deventer commented to E-News that the President wasn’t such a bad man, but he knew nothing about crocodile hunting.

Finally, Oranje, the area in the Free State aiming for independence, has put out an urgent request in the newspapers (yes, even the English ones!) for someone to get their Public Relations officer to get in touch with them. They do not know his full name, but say they think he’s Jewish (it’s okay, Jews are white), because his name is Zion. If anyone knows of his whereabouts, they are please to contact the Mayor of Oranje, using a black man with a cleft stick, or a white man with a bakkie.

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
28 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Kalibanache
South African Genie and the Magic...

The ANC thought that they had the magic lamp when Mandela was leading. And I think they were right... But where is his lamp? Read more...

3 comments 108 views
Submitted by
Kalibanache
A spot of Blemish and Dirty Bum.....

Maybe the 2 week break will help some people with the reality of matters. " I called out, Reeva, Reeva !" sob sob... Ja buddy, That's not what Gerry says..  Read more...

0 comments 6 views
Submitted by
Kruger
For whom the bell tolls

While speculation is rife of the ANC's impending fall and Jacob Zuma's time that is running out, the party - and it faithful - are gathering in a laager. Read more...

5 comments 940 views
Submitted by
Wouter Willemse
The Game has changed

If you are a child from the 60's, 70's or 80's in South Africa you had a different set of rules than the NewFreeBorns. Read more...

0 comments 82 views
Submitted by
Makate Rapulana
The SABC ís the voice of governme...

The public broadcaster is unapologetically the mouthpiece of any sitting government, and the opposition should reconcile itself with the fact. Read more...

8 comments 75 views
Submitted by
Makate Rapulana
ANCYL, Cosas, and the ‘nosey’ pub...

The public protector; blessed or cursed with a big and ugly nose was able to pick up a rather rancid odour emanating from a feeding trough; with Zuma and his lieutenants munching away the spoils of corruption.  Read more...

2 comments 50 views

Jobs in Cape Town [change area]

Property [change area]

Travel - Look, Book, Go!

Escape winter, head to Mauritius

Escape winter by spending 7 nights in Mauritius' tropical bliss from R13 215 per person sharing. Includes return flights, airport transfers and accommodation. Book now!

Kalahari.com - shop online today

Get many eggs in one basket!

Gaming bundles: 2 Super Hits games for R99, 3 Disney games for R99 and more + exclusive accessory bundles only available on kalahari.com. While stocks last. Shop now!

25% off bestselling books!

The Real Meal Revolution by Tim Noakes, Jeffrey Archer’s Be Careful What You Wish for, Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor E. Frank and many more titles. Shop now!

Up to 25% off electronics

Buy top electronics and save up to 25%. Such as kalahari.com’s 1# selling product the gobii eReader, Patriot X Porter flash drive, Asus Nexus 7” 3G tablet, Samsung Galaxy SIII, Lenovo G580 Notebook and many more. Shop now!

DStv HD PVR Decoder now R949

The DStv HD PVR Decoder has further revolutionised the television experience with lifelike viewing, sharper images, more vibrant colours and precision picture quality. Now R949, save R550. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

Up to 30% off appliances & homeware

Save up to 30% on appliances and homeware this Easter! Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now.

OLX Free Classifieds [change area]

Samsung Galaxy s4

Mobile, Cell Phones in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 24

Best bargain in big bay

Real Estate, Houses - Apartments for Sale in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

VW Golf 6, 1.6 Trendline (Excellent condition)

Vehicles, Cars in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Digital Media & Marketing Association
 
© 2014 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.








Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.