PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
Tyronehster
 
Comments: 28
Article views: 905
 
 
Latest Badges:



 
View all Tyronehster's badges.
 

News Snippets

03 July 2013, 12:27

Scientists were recently baffled by what appeared to be UFOs; a series of bright lights appearing in the sky over Liverpool, and there were many reputable witnesses to this event, with some good cell phone footage of these strange lights. Upon arriving in Liverpool, the scientists were mortified to find that the clouds had actually lifted and people were, in fact witnessing the stars for the first time.

When they, very patiently, explained this phenomenon to the local populace, one old man remarked that his grandfather had told him of these stars, but things had changed so much since those far-off days, that they immediately feared the worst and called the local constabulary.

Another recalled that he remembered once witnessing something similar in the bygone days of yore when Liverpool FC had been the champion team of England. But that was so far back that many people considered the story to be in the realms of legend.

These are not the only matters puzzling scientists at the moment, however. Since the birth of the Internet, many strange and wonderful things have occurred, not least of these the ability given to people of any class and education, or lack of, to express an opinion on any subject, no matter how little knowledge that person possesses on said subject.  What puzzled scientists the most was the willingness of otherwise intelligent people to display their ignorance in ways only ever seen by characters waiting under a bridge for the Three Billy Goats Gruff.

Moving onto matters cultural: in Pass-under-Water, Somerset, Angus McPuke, with his Highland-bred hens, won the Chicken Trembling Contest, the first time this honour has gone to anyone other than an Englishman.  Judge Scrumper O’Zoider, who has been judging this contest for thirty-three years, said, ‘Oi must zay, Oi nivver thought t’ see th’ day when a furriner could win this contest, but those chickens were tremblin’ loike there war a ferret up them pants, and seein’ as they don’ wear pants, Oi ‘ave t’ say, that’s moighty impressive!’

Angus McPuke, when quizzed on the secret of his success, told assembled reporters, ‘Och aye, well, it’s hard t’ say, really! Livin’ up there in th’ cold an’ damp cannae be too easy, ye ken? An when they come oot here, where it’s like a jungle wi’ the heat an’ all, they start t’ tremblin’ wi sheer happiness!’

One of the local ladies, Granny Smith, accused him of cheating. ‘Whoi, ‘e comes here to Zomerset and brings ‘is freezing chickens, it’s no wonder they be trembling: ‘e’s been feedin’ ‘em zider!’

Police were called to quell the riot that followed.

Closer to home, Kakebeen van Deventer received the ‘Nation Builder of the Year’ award, from none other than President Zuma himself, who commented that if more people were like van Deventer, South Africa would be a better place in which to live. It had been reported that van Deventer regularly took his farm labourers water skiing and it had been reported on by E-News, and the article had been brought to the attention of Jacob Zuma.

When interviewed later, van Deventer commented to E-News that the President wasn’t such a bad man, but he knew nothing about crocodile hunting.

Finally, Oranje, the area in the Free State aiming for independence, has put out an urgent request in the newspapers (yes, even the English ones!) for someone to get their Public Relations officer to get in touch with them. They do not know his full name, but say they think he’s Jewish (it’s okay, Jews are white), because his name is Zion. If anyone knows of his whereabouts, they are please to contact the Mayor of Oranje, using a black man with a cleft stick, or a white man with a bakkie.

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
28 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Merry Martin
Theists, please stop explaining!

SilverBack wrote a series of rebuttal articles recently, and one of the issues he raised was the scene where God instructs Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, only to rescind that instruction at the last minute.  Read more...

129 comments 1157 views
Submitted by
MyNews24 delay

We have been receiving your photos and stories but at the moment we're experiencing technical difficulties and are unable to publish them. But there is a way to get heard. Read more.  Read more...

0 comments 229 views
Submitted by
Luthando Taitai
Let's appreciate them while they ...

There is a tendency of only showing appreciation of someone when they are gone, how many people go to bed everyday deprived this important token. Read more...

1 comments 464 views
Submitted by
Joe Johnson789
Celebrity deaths bring violent cr...

The eyes of the world were on South Africa for about ten months the trial of Oscar Pistorius lasted. It was reported as one of the most watched media events in recent history. Read more...

10 comments 902 views
Submitted by
Manny Obi-Wan Meyer
The pleasure of finding things ou...

I have often wondered how the events of my past have structured my life in the present, my various skills and propensities, my way of reflecting upon the world at large. Read more...

12 comments 672 views
Submitted by
capetowndoll
God is tangible

I am writing this to let every atheist know what happened to me when I was deeply concerned about my mother. Read more...

403 comments 4652 views

Jobs in Cape Town [change area]

Property [change area]

Travel - Look, Book, Go!

Magical Massinga

Spend 5 nights at the gorgeous Massinga Beach Lodge in Mozambique and only pay for 4 from R13 220 per person sharing. Includes return flights, accommodation, transfers and romantic turndown. Book now!

Kalahari.com - shop online today

Save up to R2100 on electronics! – As seen in the catalogue

Wishing for tech gadgets this festive? Save up to R2100 on hot tech products at kalahari.com. While stocks last. Shop now!

Toys 4 for the price of 3

Buy 4 toys and get the cheapest FREE! Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

Seen something you like in our catalogue?

Find the perfect gift and save up to R5000 – As seen on the catalogue. Hurry and shop now!

TV Series – 2 for R299

Loads of hot titles to choose from. Shop now!

Hot offer: Up to 50% off irons

Save up to 50% on all Philips irons. While stocks last. Shop now!

OLX Free Classifieds [change area]

Samsung Galaxy s4

Mobile, Cell Phones in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 24

Best bargain in big bay

Real Estate, Houses - Apartments for Sale in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

VW Golf 6, 1.6 Trendline (Excellent condition)

Vehicles, Cars in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2014 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.








Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.