PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
Tyronehster
 
Comments: 19
Article views: 383
 
 
Latest Badges:



 
View all Tyronehster's badges.
 

Of this and that...

09 July 2013, 15:48

Today I’m feeling philosophical, and when I am, my mind wanders where it may, sometimes meandering like a crystal-clear mountain stream over pebbled beds and gurgling merrily along; at others like a dirty, sludgy industrial outlet.

So today I’m thinking along these lines: if you’re travelling in a vehicle at the speed of light, and you switch on your lights, does anything happen? And if so, why?

Alexander Graham Bell invented the first telephone, but who did he call? It’s all very well to say he did it, but who was he speaking to on the other side?

Marconi invented the radio, but what did he listen to? As far as I’m aware there were no stations broadcasting, just waiting for someone to invent a radio so they could be heard! It’s all very puzzling to a mind as fuzzy as mine.

When Archimedes ran naked down the streets of Athens shouting ‘Eureka!’ what was it he had found? His soap? Because it’s a bit of a swine when it gets worn down and slippery and keeps squirting out of your hand just as you pick it up. Or had he discovered the first crude lever?

When people roll their eyes, are they subconsciously trying to look into their brain? And when they close one eye, is it to help focus?

These random thoughts pop into my mind all the time: there’s nothing to stop them.

So we have terms like ‘as the crow flies’. Have you ever seen a crow fly? Five miles as the crow flies is more like ten real miles, so why as the crow flies? Why is a man six foot two in his stockinged feet. Why not bare feet? Surely stockings, or socks, would make him very slightly taller?

Why are certain untrue stories tall? Tall tales are given short shrift and a wide berth. Tall tales are inevitably short on truth.

And then there’s the ridiculosity of movie storylines. Jurassic Park, great movie: Nedry has password protected his computer and no-one can get in, but Lex Murphy, Dr Hammond’s granddaughter, says, ’This is Unix, I know Unix!’ She breaks his code and gets everything back on track. This is the same girl who doesn’t know how to switch off a torch when the T-Rex is approaching their vehicle.

 Ghost, with Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore, a tear-jerker of note. Wonderful love story, but answer me this, if you will. If she loved him as much as she claims all throughout this tedious (to me) movie, why didn’t she kill herself, so she could be with him? I should write movies scripts, they’d make a lot more sense.

It’s why I stick to the classics:

Here’s another masterpiece by wee Rabbie Burns.

Ode tae Porridge

Why is there no’ a monument
Tae Porridge in oor land?
It it’s good enough tae eat, ye ken
It’s good enough tae stand!

On a plinth in doontoon Glasgow
A wee statue we should see
O’ Porridge made in Scotland
Strong as any English tree

For we dinnae hold wi’ Corn Flakes

Or Rice Crispies or such trash

It’s got tae be good oat Porridge

Wi’ the consistency of wet ash

It’s a bonny wee thing is oor Porridge

While every other thing wilts

It’s the reason oor men are courageous

An’ wear nothing under their kilts

When ye see a wee sporran rising

Wi’ a seeming life of its own

Then ye know it’s the Scotsman’s kilt, wee lad

An’ it’s risin’ up high on a bone

So all o’ ye pansies wherever ye be

A Scotsman can take any weather

For it’s Porridge that gives him the strength, do ye see

Tae gallivant roond in th’ Heather

(Apologies to Spike Milligan)

That, my friends, is real literature. Poetry for poetry’s sake, art for art’s sake.

Finally a true story.(Would I lie?) A friend of mine was in Wicklow, on the East Coast of Ireland and he, along with everyone in the pub, was watching a fishing trawler slowly sink into the calm, oil-like sea. A rescue boat went out and brought them all back in, with not one lost.

That night, in the pub, the question was asked, ‘What happened?’

‘Well, faith an’ begorrah,  Oi tell you, it was nothin’ short of a miracle!’

‘What, that you didn’t all drown loike rats?’

‘No, not that. B’fore we went out this mornin’ we prayed to the Virgin Mary t’ give us a good catch, an’ she did! We kept pullin’ in fish, more an’ more, an’ more, but it didn’t make any difference. Every time we t’rew in our nets, we got more fish!’

‘But why didn’t ye stop t’rowing in your nets when you saw you had too many fish?’ asked someone.

He looked at the fellow as if he’d gone mad. ‘T’row back the fish?! Are ye mad?! If the Virgin grants us fish, who are we to t’row them back?’

And that, as they say, is that.

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
19 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Joey Ranger
Our once beloved country is not s...

In 1989 I was conscripted to the SADF to do compulsory National Service, I decided to get it “out of the way” as I intended studying, little did I know that conscription would end shortly thereafter.  Read more...

38 comments 2441 views
Submitted by
Hendrik Kruger
The misunderstanding of pessimism

Pessimists are known to be thought of as generally negative, depressed and grumpy people. I'm here to tell you that this is very far from the truth. Pessimists are largely misunderstood realists. Read more...

33 comments 263 views
Submitted by
Michael Mnguni898
Bafana vs Super Eagles

I watched the game between South Africa with a combination of both excitement and anxiety from the first whistle to the last.  Read more...

2 comments 234 views
Submitted by
CharlieC
Creationist Have it all Wrong, bu...

I think creationist have it all wrong. No not that creation did not happen, I’m not going to argue that today, but rather the purpose they assign to creation is wrong. Read more...

16 comments 451 views
Submitted by
Girl tells firefighting pilots ho...

To the chopper pilots who flew the water-bombing missions over Fish Hoek yesterday, you are this 12-year-old's heroes. Read her touching letter HERE. Read more...

48 comments 11943 views
Submitted by
User pics: Fish Hoek fire

Firefighters are battling to contain a blaze in Fish Hoek. See all the News24 User photos - you can upload or e-mail yours. View gallery

4 comments 7354 views

Jobs in Cape Town [change area]

Property [change area]

Travel - Look, Book, Go!

Magical Massinga

Spend 5 nights at the gorgeous Massinga Beach Lodge in Mozambique and only pay for 4 from R13 220 per person sharing. Includes return flights, accommodation, transfers and romantic turndown. Book now!

Kalahari.com - shop online today

Up to 35% off books

Save up to 35% on the latest page-turners. While stocks last. Shop now!

20% off ALL TV Series

Choose from 1000’s of the hottest TV Series . While stocks last. Shop now!

Festive gifts!

Check out our awesome range of festive gifts to make everyone’s wishes come true. Shop now!

Seen something you like in our catalogue?

Find the perfect gift and save up to R5000 – As seen on the catalogue. Hurry and shop now!

Save up to R2100 on electronics! – As seen in the catalogue

Wishing for tech gadgets this festive? Save up to R2100 on hot tech products at kalahari.com. While stocks last. Shop now!

OLX Free Classifieds [change area]

Samsung Galaxy s4

Mobile, Cell Phones in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 24

Best bargain in big bay

Real Estate, Houses - Apartments for Sale in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

VW Golf 6, 1.6 Trendline (Excellent condition)

Vehicles, Cars in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2014 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.








Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.