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Only suckers smoke

16 November 2012, 08:30

Only suckers live in a country whose president was voted in after a rape charge and thought he could have a shower to wash AIDS away, and remained in power after a corrupt arms deal, and still have a following when poverty and crime escalate regardless of photoshopped statistics, and education and basic government facilities are at their worst.

Only suckers praise a president who keeps them stupid, illiterate and spends two Billion Rands on his family home while text books rot in a field.

Only suckers still live in a country that has suffered the above yet with fuel hikes that raise the prices of everything else but when fuel prices drop, all those other prices don't drop, keep on buying.

Suckers pay a company called Eskom who not only begs them to not use their services but penalises them if they use their services excessively, and even though they take millions of Rands worth of bonuses and are bailed out by tax payers, they keep on buying electricity.

Suckers believe that their religion is perfect and fight anyone who doesn't believe it's true, instead of just following their religion and loving those who appose them as they're supposed to.

Suckers think that their skin colour makes them special, their brains bigger or their dicks bigger - or it makes them hate because of vice versa.

Suckers buy bumper stickers to express themselves, but all they're doing is irritating people who know better – pretty much like people who shout about political parties they vote for, or religions they stand for.

Suckers gather in groups and think they're enmasse, but never realise they're looking at themselves in a microscope.

Suckers are born every minute, if you take the time to step away from it all.

I'm a sucker too, in many ways – but when I'm a sucker for something I'm well aware of it, and willing to shamefully admit to it – because I like it, and because it's my right to choose.

Like all the few examples of suckers I've described above, of which I'm sure many people can identify with, there is no greater sucker than the smoker, such as myself. I've sucked on many "Cancer sticks" and for the most part I've enjoyed every inhalation. There has been a few occasions when I've regretted it horribly, maybe 5% of my smoking career.

I've had Tonsilitis and sorely regretted (but thoroughly enjoyed) having a drag on day three of my illness after sucking on seven antiseptic mind-numbingly horrible tasting Strepsils, as much as I did on a few occassions waking up on a Sunday morning after having not slept since Puza Thursday and dry heaved through a glass of orange juice and had the urge to add one more cigarrette to the carton I inhaled over the three nights.

Although I've never been the normal type of guy who suffers horribly from the sniffles, and instead always been the type who would rather not miss a day of work or a night of partying, it hasn't served me well as far as being a sucker when it comes to nicotine – because I have the same die-hard nature in everything I do. It's just in my blood. It's stubborn, relentless and although my attitude has served me well in the work place (but never won any accolades) it seems it has it's drawbacks – I'll smoke no matter what.

So, as a die hard smoker (sorry, "sucker") I'm loath to have a bunch of non smoking, nancy panzies come along and tell me that I need a license to smoke.

What self absorbed, selfish, microscopic wanker thinks that I'm going to believe that they have my best interests at heart by not only charging me "sin tax" but then also imposing a "license" to smoke on me, and thinks that I'm retarded enough to actually continue paying? YES I'll continue smoking, my product will be available at a lesser cost (no sin tax and no license required) on what is commonly known as (no I'm not being racist) the "black market".

You want me to quit smoking? BAN SMOKING.

Stop the tobacco trade and stop profiting off my supposed demise. Don't be complete and utter masochists by making my life difficult yet continue to profit off me by allowing the sale of cigarrettes! You nasty, cruel sicophants! Don't tell me you're acting in my best interests after 20 years of selling it to me by and then convincing all the non smokers I'm some sort of a social leper, while you penalise and milk me financially!

What kind of sucker do you think I am?

Do you think I won't smoke just because you don't like it? NO!

Will I quit if and when I feel the need to? YES!

NOT because you say so. Not because anyone says so. Everyone can shove it!

Do not think for one second that by making a smokers life difficult, that they're oblivious to the fact that you still milk them with extra taxes and make their lives difficult, after you sanctioned it and allowed it in the first place, and continue to allow it.

It's too late to be holier than thou, when there's so much other, more important stuff you retards can't fix and don't care about because you're too busy making up stupid laws to ensure you make more money off an already milked cash cow.

My smoking is my business, and charging me more for being a social leper is making me angry, it does not make me want to quit – it makes me want to smoke more just to say F you and the horse you rode in on.

So angry, I'm lighting up as I type this.

You self absorbed, selfish, retarded, self righteous, militant, cruel, double standard sicophants, egotistical, moronic, blatantly obvious leeches of society.

Okay I feel better now.

I will quit when I decide to, not because you, nor your militant anti-smoking followers who think that all cancers are to be blamed on smokers tell me to. Heroin and Cocaine are banned drugs, but guess what – you're not "sin taxing" them! You're not asking them to pay a "license" to kill themselves!

So, if you want to impose all these "rules" on me because you think the drug you once sanctioned as socially acceptable 20 years ago is now the modern equivalent of a leper in the 13th century, then best you either legalise ALL drugs and tax them too and impose the same anti-social and financial restraints on them instead of singling me out, because this is NOT constitutional, not fair and nothing to do with my habit and more to do with your profit.

You cannot pick and choose what social drugs are illegal and what aren't by imposing stricter standards on where and how a person can take their drug. You must either ban it in it's entirety or allow it completely. You cannot expect a few to accept your half assed law when it charges rediculous amounts of taxes but makes it difficult to afford the luxury of it, while you say it's for their own good and act as if you're doing them a favour. You are not doing any favours, you are not keeping the non smokers in mind, you are just milking the cow.

You're NOT doing those who don't smoke a favour, and you're NOT doing those who smoke any justice.

Got it?

Yes, I'm a sucker, but I'm NOT a sucker for your idiotic self righteousness. Any non-smoker should have the same attitude as me – either ban it completely, or allow it completely. Why is one drug allowed to be taxed, licensed and socially unacceptable yet others hold strict jail terms?



Make all Tobacco farms illegal and jail THEM.

Instead, you make my life difficult, and want to milk me as a victim of your own greed.

Who is the sucker?

I am the sucker.

I quit.

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