Hey there Atul,
I write to you as an ordinary South African. One of those 'ungrateful xenophobic peasants', as you referred to us during the Guptagate shenanigans.
You and your family have been operating in South Africa for some time now. I've never been partial to your brand of cheap and cheerful computers, so I'll reserve comment in that sphere, other than noting that the proliferation of your brand in government ICT departments, coinciding with the ascendency of The Fat Zulu, is quite, er, remarkable.
Let's talk about Number One, shall we. The venerable Emperor of Nkandla. He whose compound shall not be named. And of course his party, the ANC.
It is common cause that are you extremely close to His Showerness, and to other cANCer leaders and their bedmates. I must be blunt here. As I see it, it is only through your association with these blithering fools, that you have been able to establish The New Age (TNA), a publication which has as one of its stated intentions, to show the ANC and its leaders in a positive light.
What is intriguing is that TNA still refuses to have its circulation audited by ABC. It claims a distribution of 100,000, but 50,000 copies are said to be returned for pulping. The majority of the remaining 50,000 are 'sold' to parastatals and ANC fiefdoms, such as the SABC. We estimate that roughly three copies of the paper are legitimately sold at the retail level.
But it gets worse. TNA, together with its co-conspirators at Telkom, the SABC and Eskom, has been nicked running a scam called Business Breakfasts. At a million a pop, it explains quite neatly how TNA has been able to stay in business for three years plus, when by all accounts, it should have been put out of its misery years ago.
And then there was Guptagate. The whole AFB Waterkloof thing. The snide whitey in me asked if you had given permission for President Obama and crew to use your personal airport.
In all seriousness, it angers me that you first requested ACSA to shut down OR Tambo and make it available to your entourage alone, at their (we, the xenophobic taxpayers, in effect) expense. It angers me further that you then leaned on various departments of state, no doubt dropping the name of Jacob Gedleyihlekisa all over the place, to secure Waterkloof. It makes me irate that you then coerced some Metro policemen to use blue light and sirens in an illegal fashion, to whisk you and yours off to Sun City, where you partied up a storm, so long as the smelly blacks weren't annoying you. I am apoplectic with rage that you (personally, and as a family) couldn't understand why South Africans were angry about this whole saga, and indeed, that you felt that we should be feting you and fawning over your over-entitled brood.
And now you deign to launch Atul's News Network 7. The cynic in me proposes that the only reason you have launched ANN7, is to make the new SABC news offering look good.
In two words, Atul, let me describe your channel for you, just in case your yes-men are telling you it's decent. Fucking abominable. I have seen more polished Grade 4 plays. ANN7 is the laughing stock of Youtube. The launch was a disaster, technical deficiency following blunder following catastrophe.
Most people thought this was just a case of teething problems, and things would come right later in the week. Newsflash, Atul, they haven't. The description of the first day of the Ashes test was pure comedy gold. And broadcasting dros. And then there was the much laughed-at launch of Game On. If I was one of those girls, and I figured just how rotten I'd been, I'd launch myself off the Sentech tower, no strings attached. Do us all a favour, Atul, shut it down. It's shit.
So. To summarise, we have: mediocre business dealings made good through political connections, dodgy pro-ruling party newspaper, funded by the people, riding rough-shod over the sovereignty of a legitimate country, and now, the worst news channel in the whole history of broadcasting.
Please take this with the earnestness I am trying to convey... Why don't you sod off, Atul? Pack up your ungrateful family, all the tat from your ostentatious digs in Saxonwold, your half-rate newspaper, and your pathetic telly programme, and go back to India. This may be Africa, and we may be African, but our standards are a lot higher than you give us credit for.
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