I have over these last few weeks watched every moment of the trial and have come to the conclusion that no matter what evidence is brought before people they will always have their own opinion, for or against regardless of facts. Even if the truth is glaring at them right in the face, they will choose to ignore or include whatever makes their reasoning and understanding of a situation work for them.
What happened that evening is in no uncertain terms one of the most violent and horrific tragedies of the moment. Forget the elections, forget Zuma using rape as a reason to spend billions, forget Dewani using SA as a scapegoat (maybe, maybe not) to off his beautiful new wife. All the above blends into a muddy mixer and makes living in South Africa a comparison between playing a game of dodgeball and chosing to swin in the Cape ocean during high shark season – you just never know when you are clocked out.
I have commented on many sites and have been abused and criticised and I have also given my opinion and thoughts in return with no arms barred. When does one continue to remain polite and silent and when does one have the right to stand up and say "hey seriously what is wrong with you people." Am I wrong or are they wrong or is society as a whole so judgemental that we always look for the bad in everything.
We have a chap who has the most incredible staying power, commitment to his craft, enjoys life to the fullest (and why shouldn't he, he earned it) who has made mistakes (like all of us) and is aware that he isn't perfect. He likes firearms, which most South African's do, especially if you are born into a family who feels comfortable around weapons, as myself and my family - so I can relate to an extent, the passion Oscar feels for firearms. Like someone who likes computer games, you always want to play the latest one.
Oscar Pistorious has had a warm net around him his whole life thanks to his family who have kept him humble. But most of his surviving has come from within himself. Parents can advise you but your character determines the journey and staying power within. Losing his mom and then a no show dad, that must hurt to a great extent, however, he rose above this. I am not talking about his Olympic accolades because I haven't followed his career from the beginning but I have admired things I have read over the years, about taking on the “rulers” - the fact they said he has an advantage on his prosthetics legs and then going and giving himself up as a guinea pig and proving them wrong re his "cheetah legs". Some see that as a victory for all disabled people, some see that as arrogance. Why arrogance, why not admired for proving something right when everyone said he was wrong. I feel that he should be admired for that because he had no idea what the outcome would be but did it anyway. He did himself and the world proud just because of his character.
This man lives his life everyday committing himself to his craft, to his country, to his family, his lady and to people less privileged than himself. How many of us can say we do this without a second thought. Not many at all. He is only 29 years old and achieved so much as a human being. Being grumpy after training and dieting weeks on end is a sacrifice and anyone who lives or loves him knows that is a sacrifice. When his friends are partying till 2am in the morning, he’s had to be asleep for 5 hours already so he can train and keep up his fitness.
I felt compelled to write this article for myself regardless of what others may think of me. I am okay with others opinions, and as I always say, so long as it is the truth. I truly believe in every figure of my being that Oscar is telling the truth. I have listened to everything and sometimes more than once, I have had many discussions with people whom disagree with me. Most of whom disagree with me do not have all the information or have chosen to forget or not listen or include some things. I have also been able to listen to their views and opinions with unbiased reasoning (I feel I am intelligent enough to do this). What I have found is that the people whom are on the same train of thought and concur with me are the less judgmental and bitter people. I know I will get a backlashing for saying this but this is my opinion and I stand by it. I have spoken to military men, bigots, racists of all colours and elderly and young and asked their opinion in this case. I have to stick with my statement above, the less judgemental and bitter the person the more they give an intellectual response. The ones that agree with me are very sure of that and the ones who don’t always say “I think.”
I have listened to lawyers and reporters salivating while they discuss this trial, their bread and butter with the jam… and this trial is their Olympics and time to “shine”. Please don't think that I view all lawyers and reporters this way because I don't, just most.
A good story sells newspapers and airtime so I get it. What I don't get is that if you are the only communication to the world, then all facts should be stated and broadcast and not only showing the facts which sells news. A word left out here a word slightly changed here can change the tone of an article. Read yesterday a newspaper quoting Johan Stander and left out the part “I shot Reeva I thought she was an intruder.” Had everything else in and Nel Nel and more Nel and changed the tone and “guilt” of the article. The public is gullible and will often take every word as truth... unfortunately this ignorance plays into the money making machines of media.
Anyone who has been in a court of law and who has had an advocate treat them with disdain and disrespect will know that it takes a strong person not to lose control or break down and focus focus and focus some more. Reliving over and over again one of the most traumatic events of your life will wear a person down. I don't care what people say about “the truth comes out if you are lying”. A word said differently can change everything and only if you have read the manual of life, have been programmed as a robot, no one will know what word implicates or implies this or another – only the lawyers do. If you just tell your story everything will be fine they say. Don’t lie and everyone will believe you they say. Don’t ramble cause you can make mistakes etc etc etc If you say you make a mistake and if you say you shot by mistake you can get a suspended sentence or you can go to prison for 25 years they say. Come on what nonsense – he IS fighting for his life. What punishment is good enough for someone who has killed the woman he loves, destroyed his life, his career, his friends and his family. Besides living for the rest of his life with the guilt, the shame and the loss of that person forever. What they should say is if you tell your story in as little words as possible then you will be judged on those words… but it doesn’t work that way does it.
Anyone who has confronted danger in a military or other situation will understand what fear does and what panic does. They are two different emotions and affect the way we act in a very different manner, and we all react differently to both emotions..
Oscar Pistorius if you ever get to read this, please know that no matter what happens in the weeks or years to come, I and many like myself feel that there has to be a plan here or the devil has a very sick sense of humour. Reeva, beautiful person inside and out but not perfect. A young man, beautiful inside and out but not perfect were not meant to be together. I wish I knew the reason why this happened but I don't. Maybe it is to enlighten people with regards to the terrible brutal crime in South Africa, maybe it is to distract the world from their own agendas, maybe it is to make people feel vulnerable or bring out the nastiness that so many have. I don't know, but all I do know is that no one should ever have gone through what you and Reeva have.
I am not very religious, in fact purposely don't discuss religion with anyone unless they would like a debate. I do believe in our creator and anyone who has felt a baby kick in their belly knows there is a God. The reason I say this is because my views come from a place of empathy, logic, sincerity and forgiveness and not from the bible.
I have a gay male friend who once told me "it took me so long to accept myself the way I am so how dare others condemn me and tell me they can’t accept me. All I need is for people to understand, I do not chose to be this way and if I could take a pill tomorrow to change my circumstances, I would!" That of cause is another topic altogether but what it taught me was that I should never judge a person’s circumstances. That is not my responsibility or my place. Our, meaning all men and women, have a responsibility to learn from one another and in so doing we make ourselves better people.
I hope that Reeva's family find closure and forgiveness and are able to respect her memory and how she would have felt about what happened. That she loved Oscar and she felt he was worthy of her love. That her time on earth should have been longer but for some reason it was cut short. I hope you are able to look back on the life she had and smile and remember the spirit she left behind.
I hope Oscar's family will continue to support him and I hope that he will overcome his grief or even find a way to direct it into a worthwhile project in Reeva's memory. That he will forgive himself and accept that we are all learning from his life and trauma right now. I hope he can feel love again, laugh again and feel joy again.
If I was Reeva and I loved you, I would have forgiven him already and my soul would not rest until I know that he had forgiven himself. She saw a life for him.. at 29 years old you don’t tell someone you love them if you can’t see a future with them. If only if only… but sadly it was not meant to be.
Strength to Oscar family and Reeva's family and mom and dad especially - I hope that they can sit together with Oscar and grieve and somehow turn Reeva's death into something more than just sadness. But connect her name to something joyful. I think her soul would rest easy that night and every night thereafter. Rest easy dear Oscar and rest in peace dear Reeva until you meet again.