PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
Irukandji
 
Comments: 33
Article views: 1
 
 
Latest Badges:



 
View all Irukandji's badges.
 

Our new National Animal?

29 December 2011, 11:16

For much too long we have had the springbok as our national animal. Having changed most of our town, street, and place names, the government should now consider culling the springbok.

 

To some of our citizens, the springbok still remains a symbol of the previous regime. Now, like the Israelites of the Old Testament – who erased all signs of the existence of their enemies once they have conquered them – the ANC-government seems hell-bent on removing all symbols, names, systems, statues, statutes, and records of their enemies who ruled this country before them. In the process they are also destroying our history, which belongs to all of us, but this does not seem to bother them.

 

The national flag, national anthem, and coat of arms, were all changed with the usual murmurs and discord; but, except for the fact that no one is able pronounce the motto on the coat of arms: “!ke e:/xarra//ke,” the changes did not lead to civil war or major unrest. (Pronounced: “exclamationmarkkayee eecolonfront slashxarrafrontslashfrontslashkayee.” Remember to click your tongue while slashing to the front.)

 

Note: There is still some dispute over the meaning of “!ke e:/xarra//ke.” Some researchers seem to think that it was written by a member of the Khoisan – whose computer keyboard went haywire. Anthropologists, however, postulate that it originates from an ancient e-mail address that was found, carved on the wall of a cave, in the Kalahari.

 

Be that as it may, the government maintains that the language belongs to the /Xam people and is supposed to mean: “Unity is unity, and diversity is diversity, and never the twain shall meet” – or some such gobbledygook. 

 

Now, as to our current national animal, Antidorcas marsupialis; known as the common springbok to us uneducated peasants. Ask yourself: Which animal should replace this outdated little biltong producer? Why, Equus mulus, of course! The mule!

 

Most South Africans already seem to love mules. This is based on the amount of compassion, sympathy, and condolences from the general public, whenever one of our poor little innocent mules are detained, arrested, or executed by those bloody heartless foreigners who do not want to accept our bribes.

 

Also, it is a fact that a mule is a politically correct animal – having different characteristics than that of either of its parents.

 

A mule does not sound exactly like a donkey or a horse. Instead, a mule makes a sound that is similar to a donkey; but also has the whinnying characteristics of a horse (often starts with a whinny, ends in a hee-haw). Sometimes, mules whimper.

 

(Sorry, I got carried away – started describing a certain chap who got all dressed up in a purple suit to go to a wedding.)

 

Our mules are already working all over the world (China, Thailand, Mozambique, Nigeria, Malaysia, Brazil, Norway, etc, etc.) and are widely renown for their greed, slyness and innovative ideas. Some mules keep their handbags tightly closed; claiming diplomatic immunity, and refuse to be searched; while others, when caught, will refuse divulge the names of their hairdressers.

 

Speaking of dreadlocks:

 

Cannabis sativa has long been our unofficial national plant. Dagga has become the weed of choice for many South Africans – who proudly display pictures of their favourite smoke (the green, five leaved sticker) next to the national flag on their cars, on T-shirts, and baseball caps. At soccer matches the spectators sometimes complain that they find it difficult, if not impossible, to see the game because of the heavy marijuana smoke drifting amongst the fans. But at least they all leave the game smiling, even when Bafana loses – as usual.

 

While we’re at it, maybe we should also change the national anthem. How about the old Tennessee Ernie Ford song: “Mule Train.” Sort of rhymes nicely with the Gautrain, don’t you think?

 

Or maybe the Toby Keith and Scott Emerik song, dedicated to that other Nelson: “I’ll Never Smoke Weed with Willie Again.”

 

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
33 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Terrylin Backpackers
The cheque is in the post

"I hear you are in bond collections. What are the latest excuses people are coming up with these days? I've run out of ideas." Read more...

10 comments 3877 views
Submitted by
Meta
News in the digital age

How do you think that spreading your hate/bigotry and or intolerance helps anybody? Read more...

14 comments 1235 views
Submitted by
Brian Faul
How and why a Dictator is born

One needs to remember looking back in history these hard times is when a dictator is more likely to get born. It is during these hard times that a dictator gets voted into power. Read more...

10 comments 2022 views
Submitted by
Prenisha Naidoo
I will be proactive...

This letter is in response to articles on the death of baby Jamie Naidoo, We have the tendency to be reactive…we wait for something to happen, then suddenly we care, writes a News24 User. Read more...

2 comments 500 views
Submitted by
woadstress
Celebration

Make a list of at least ten things that you can celebrate, and write two or three reasons why you can celebrate those things or events. Read more...

1 comments 186 views
Submitted by
Eric de Castro
Last squeak of the year

 Read more...

14 comments 310 views

Jobs in Cape Town [change area]

Jobs in Western Cape region

Analyst Developer

Western Cape
Progressive IT Resourcing (Pty) Ltd

Mobile Marketing Manager

Western Cape
Recruit Digital
R15 000 - R22 000 Per Month

Engineering Manager

Western Cape
Pro-Tech Recruitment
R850 000 - R1 100 000 Per Year

Property [change area]

Travel - Look, Book, Go!

Kalahari.com - shop online today

Grand Theft Auto 5

Now available on PS4, Xbox One and PC from R649. Buy now!

Festive gifts!

Check out our awesome range of festive gifts to make everyone’s wishes come true. Shop now!

Save on Samsung

Cameras, mobile phones, TVs, Tablets and more. While stocks last. Shop now!

Save up to R2200 on electronics! – As seen in the catalogue

Wishing for tech gadgets this festive? Save up to R2100 on hot tech products at kalahari.com. While stocks last. Shop now!

30% off the bestselling books

Save big on the most captivating reads of 2014. While stocks last. Shop now!

OLX Free Classifieds [change area]

Samsung Galaxy s4

Mobile, Cell Phones in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 24

Best bargain in big bay

Real Estate, Houses - Apartments for Sale in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

VW Golf 6, 1.6 Trendline (Excellent condition)

Vehicles, Cars in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2014 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.








Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.