PAINS GOING WITH MARRIAGE ENJOYMENT
Love is such a wonderful thing; it soothes broken hearts but can also break happy ones. Love makes hearts, minds and eyes blind. My problem is when two loving hearts develop infatuation and become so possessive and end up in a horrible thing called marriage. But does LOVE really exist? I agree that love is a natural phenomenon, but I have been at different points in our country and I had never met an unmarried person because there is nobody to love at that particular moment or the kind of a person to love is not yet born and this leaves me with a mind that love is unrealistic. Now if a woman loves a man and culturally as you know, she can’t inform him or does not have a way to make him aware or the man is not interested in her and another man comes along and takes her for a wife, will I be correct if I say that the husband is a second or even twentieth choice to that woman’s heart? How will you feel if you happen to know that the woman in your life has choice number one somewhere and maybe two or even ten before you, but those men were maybe already engaged to other women being the reason that she was not connected to anyone of them, and that’s how you got your chance? So this leads me to this; not all married couples are in their correct marriage they deserve. It is actually a way to fill emptiness, so I don’t believe in marriage and that’s why there are so many cheaters and divorces, to verify this just spend one day at civil court, you’ll back me up on this one. Marriage is nearly like a car, when it is new you like it, but once its ugly face pops up, it leaves you in tears. Look, a divorcee can again marry; now, tell me how many loves does one person have?
Look at the animals, they produce offsprings but they don’t have marriage, and also its pains. We are not animals but animals have a clean slate of troubles. Maybe they have their own type of marriage but with no laws, money and property attached. Do you know how many people died in love and marriage circles? How many pistols were used to gun down wife, children then self? To alleviate all these self-made problems, let’s try this type of a relationship; we repeal the laws of permanent marriage and replace them with shortened ones. This means that like a driver’s license after a given period, say five years, a couple again appears before the marriage official who’ll ask each one this question; do you still want to continue with your marriage with your partner? Guess how many yeses and no’s will be there? Marriage is a pain to many whilst those who decide to continue with it do that for other reasons, children, property and also for dignity and spiritual ones. A saying; ‘Nyala o nyele’ in Sotho meaning that you get married and get pissed off, and ‘Spaar jou trane vir jou trou dag’ meaning that save your tears for your marriage, are testimonies for the ordeals in a marriage.
I already hear some people saying; then the children will suffer, but isn’t what my Bible tells me; Children will be punished for the sins of their parents?
By: Modiba Kadi