If you're a fellow member of that regrettable persuasion, 'white male', I've got a club just for you. Yes, 'pale males' could do with some empowering as well!
Staring thoughtfully at the slogan on Lili Radloff's shirt (yes, I was looking at the slogan your Honour) in her latest article - http://www.women24.com/CareersAndMoney/AtWork/Not-all-women-are-bitchy-20130821-2 - I couldn't help but wonder whether I could wear some equally feisty t-shirt and fist-bump with all my white homeboys.
Isn't that the whole point of being a white male? You're told you're not in need of empowering, so rather let the women get together in their 'ladies' book clubs' and let the black lawyers form the 'black lawyers association' and so on. For the white guys, you can have a book club if you want, and a laywers association if you have to, but just remember that women and black guys are also welcome mkay? And don't EVER, ever, prefix the name with 'White Male...'
There's also this curious little derogatory title that's emerged of 'pale male', seen increasingly in articles by black people who think they're being smart (you'll often see 'analyst' in their self-written author bios), and bitter white guys who feel too disempowered to refer to themselves as 'white' or 'male'.
The real problem with white guys is that they don't know whether they should be proud of being white, or male. Do they need to join two separate clubs? Is there room in their wallets for two extra membership cards, somewhere between the Pick n Pay Smart Shopper card and the Spur family card?
When you tell me that all white people should feel guilty of something, can I rebutt that by saying - to paraphrase Lili's distracting t-shirt - 'Well-behaved men seldom make history'?
Is it wrong even to dare joke about my identity, and that of all the rest of my poor unfortunate little label-free group?
I say that just as the black consciousness movement reclaimed and found pride in the label of 'blackness', that us white okes can find solace and unity under the 'pale male' banner. If the chicks can burn their bras, we can burn our braaivleis and ... oh wait, that's going too far.
Yes, that's right, I almost forgot, we're just human. Just because I'm a white guy I'm not necessarily a fan of what other white guys like. Kurt Darren, George Bush and David Hasselhoff are not necessarily going to find a lot of things to discuss around the bar of the Pale Male Club.
So that puzzles me. Women are all distinct individuals as well, and yet they're happy to pick their common gender as a banner to unite under ... or are they just told they should unite under it, and are happy to accept this unity. The same thing goes for black people still uniting under the label of 'black', even though that war was won a long time ago.
I guess at the end of the day unity even with people we don't feel we share anything with can be celebrated, so long as you then invert it to call it 'enjoying our diversity'.
But to the women and the black men, why not just extend it one little step further then, beyond your lady parts and skin colour, to include us white men?
Next week at the Pale Male Club (re-branding to just The Club), an inspirational talk on Steve Biko's life, followed by a baking lesson on the perfect muffins.
Who's going to join me there?
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