I was called a Pastor yesterday, so let me get on my high horse and preach a little sermon to the congregation. The issue under discussion was a fantastic concept by a bloke called Hanjo who claimed that gays were God’s/ Natures/ Allah’s / Dawkins way of curbing our uncontrollable birth rate.
Personally, it makes sense and I think China and India in particular could do with a few more homo’s in the hood. What is our current population . . . six, seven billion? If that doesn’t cause you to freak out a bit then I would suggest you can be likened to a bystander watching a slow motion car accident: absorbed by what you see, but unable to do anything about it.
So Pastor Bergies first bible thump: catch a friggin’ wake-up son, we need to curb the growth rate. If anyone in this congregation is gay then consider your homosexual deeds a blessed act of communion and slurp from the cup with both hands. It over-floweth. Swallow if you must.
The conversation then turned to abortion. The holier-than-thou’s who won’t trust a pregnant woman to make a choice will gladly trust her with a baby. Here’s a fact: when the USA legalised abortion in the 80’s their crime rate in New York dropped dramatically 20 years later. There is a correlation between abortion and a lowered crime rate. The reason is that unwanted children develop into unwanted adults and are more inclined to commit dangerous crimes (read Freak-o-nomics for more details).
Pastor Bergies second bible thump: don’t support the death penalty for adults, support abortion instead. Doesn’t it make sense to kill the criminals at source, before they come out the tummy? Science says yes.
Gay’s, abortion and the death penalty are three concepts that define most religions. It takes up about 80% of their energy and nothing gets them hotter under the collar than the thought of gay sex. I would go so far to say that homosexuality owns them because it owns their thoughts. It certainly owns Pastor Errol Naidoo who it seems, can think of nothing else. Well, I suppose whatever takes the focus off Psalm 137:9 : “Happy is he who repays you for what you have done to us – he who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks.”
Yes, lets be ‘happy’ folks. Forget about silly things like poverty, hunger and compassion. Lets be happy and dash a few babies against the rocks.
But heaven forbid we remove a fetus humanely.
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