PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
Irukandji
 
Comments: 13
Article views: 526
 
 
Latest Badges:



 
View all Irukandji's badges.
 

Platters, anyone?

11 March 2014, 10:17

Don’t you sometimes get just the slightest bit upset when someone keeps on sending unsolicited spam and adverts to your e-mails address? (Yes, Sakkie, I wanted to say “die moer in,” but not in front of all the religious News24 readers.) I wish we had some legal recourse to deal with these annoying fools. (The spammers, that is, not the religious News24 readers.)

A company, who call themselves Carany Catering & Hiring (I call them something completely different – but the language that is sometimes used by ex-Sergeant Majors, is not meant for sensitive ears), have been spamming me for several months now.

I decided to give them a bit of the old runaround, so I called in the help of my Godfather: Eric de la Vega de Castro. (Eric, as some of you may know, is the Patient Saint of the sick, the underdog, the sick underdog, the poor, the weak, the widows, the poor weak widows, and the green boat people on the high seas.)

Rumours of Eric’s death have been greatly exaggerated. (So let’s just leave it there, shall we, Sakkie?)

The latest spam from Carany Catering urged me to: “Try our amazing platters. Each one assembled to you own satisfaction. Please keep in mind that special requests may influence the cost of the platter.” T’s & C’s apply.

“Now, look,” said godfather Eric on Friday the 7th of March, “I’m gonna make them an order that they can’t refuse.”

I watched as he made a selection of platters, costing a total of R7 980. He then sent the order, by e-mail, with an accompanying letter on a fake letterhead (after first carefully wiping off all his fingerprints from the letter:

Dear Sir/Madam,

RE: Your e-mail to us, advertising your platters.

Our company, Unspecified Enterprises (from Brazil), has only recently entered the job market in South Africa. We are having a function at our new offices in Centurion next Tuesday, and would like to place an order for the selected platters, as indicated. Would you please be so kind as to make the delivery between 09:00 and 10:00 on Tuesday the 11th of March 2014? Our office hours are 08:30 to 16:00, Mondays to Fridays.

We shall be paying COD.

Regards,

Eric de la Vega de Castro

PS.  We have only just moved in at our new premises and are still waiting for our telephone lines to be installed. Please contact us by e-mail, should you have any questions.

This morning (the 10th of March), I received a reply from a guy at Carany’s, who calls himself Edwin. Our ensuing e-mail conversation went like this:

07:45 “Hi Eric, Thank you we will deliver the platters to you. Regards, Edwin…”

And then, a little later, because Edwin must have realized that he didn’t know where to deliver the platters:

08:29 “Hi, Eric, Could you please provide us with your physical address and a contact person with a cell phone no. for delivery purposes.”

Eric’s personal assistant, Theresa Alvares-Cabral, sent Edwin the following reply:

09:11 “Good morning Edwin. Thank you for your reply. We are on the third, fourth, and fifth floors of the building. Parking is on the first floor. Our reception is on the third floor.  We are still moving all our office furniture and equipment into the offices and everything is a bit of a mess. You can make the delivery directly to me at our reception. Regards, and thank you again. Theresa Alavares-Cabral.”

09:36 “Hi Eric. Where in Centurion are you situated? I need a street address. Regards, Edwin.”

11:23 “Hi again, Edwin. We are next to the Centurion Lake. Not in the street. We are in the building. My boss, Senhor Eric de la Vega de Castro, is getting very angry because you seem to be fooling around with us. He is blaming me for not getting it right. I am also new in your country and do not understand everything yet. If you cannot make the delivery, we will have to get someone else to do it. Please help me, por favor, me ajude! Theresa.”

11:52 “Dear Eric, Thank you for your reply. I’m not fooling around with you, I’m trying to do business with you. For this I need a contact telephone number and a delivery address and time. Once you supply me with this information we can finalise your order.”

12:18 “Edwin. My name is Theresa. I am Senhor de Castro’s personal assistant. I have given you the time for the delivery (between 09:00 and 10:00 on Tuesday the 11th of March 2014), I’ve told you where our offices are situated, and I’ve explained that we are still waiting for our telephone lines to be installed. Yet you are still not prepared to help me with the delivery. You are a heartless, cruel man. *Deus vai castigá-lo por isso! You can cancel our order. Senhor Eric de la Vega de Castro says we will not do any business with you, ever again. Adeus, Theresa.”

I haven’t heard from Edwin again.

Before he left my house, Eric said that if I had any more hassles with Carany Catering & Hiring, he’ll have one of the guys put a severed horse’s head in Edwin’s bed. Said it always gives good results…

Sounds good to me.

*Portuguese – God will punish you for this!

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
13 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Alan Solomon
Mind your language. Remember what...

History has shown how the most compelling political and religious leaders understood exactly why it is so important to speak to people in their mother tongue.  Read more...

0 comments 122 views
Submitted by
Kelvin Esiasa167
The amazing journey of Siyabulela...

One of South Africa's youngest innovators, Siyabulela Xuza, an energy-engineering Harvard University graduate, is passionate about harnessing the power of the sun for clean affordable energy. Read more...

2 comments 136 views
Submitted by
Jean da Cruz
Update on fire Betty's bay

I'm very grateful to the firefightes who have been very busy extinguishing the blaze at Betty's Bay even though the noise at times was unbearable. Read more...

1 comments 499 views
Submitted by
Deon George
SAPS air wing unit: Killing the c...

If you claim to care about the people, flora and fauna of SA, then best you read this. Read more...

64 comments 1365 views
Minister Nene you're destroying t...

With increase in tax you were unfair, not justified too ambitious. Read more...

14 comments 778 views
Submitted by
Moses Mbunge
Proteas win over West Indies

Congratulations to the Proteas for such a remarkable and outstanding victory. Read more...

8 comments 135 views

Jobs in Cape Town [change area]

Property [change area]

Travel - Look, Book, Go!

Kalahari.com - shop online today

Deal of the week!

Petrol generators from R1399, save up to R350. While stocks last. Shop now!

30% off Pampers!

Save 30% when you buy 3 or more selected pampers products. While stocks last. Shop now!

This week only - 30% off books!

Get 30% off when you buy 2 or more books. Many titles to choose from. While stocks last. Shop now!

New range of Samsung smartphones!

Samsung Galaxy A3, A5 and Alpha now available at kalahari.com. while stocks last. Shop now!

Buy 3 eBooks & only pay for 2!

The cheapest of the 3 titles will be free. Many more titles to choose from. While stocks last. Shop now!

 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2015 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.




Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.