NOTE : THIS ARTICLE IS JUST A BIT OF FUN, NO SERIOUS SUBJECT. SO IF YOUR VERY SERIOUS DON'T READ
Since a couple of readers simply could not contain their disbelief about my article on choosing to be single, I decided to place a personal ad (since I must be so very, deeply unhappy without a nice strong man in my life and I don’t know if Die Huisgenoot has that “hoekie vir eensames” anymore). Here goes :
Woman DESPERATELY seeking husband, though there are a few things you should know:
1. I will more than likely love wine more than I will love you
2. I will more than likely love my dog more than I will love you
3. I am a bit of a fitness fanatic, though I do not expect you to share my fanaticism, if your boobs get bigger than mine we are going to have a problem
4. Since I am a teacher, your assumption that I adore kids will be correct… I love children, other peoples’ children, children that can go back to their parents. I don’t want my own, and if you already have children you better hope that they are grown, since I eat babies (as an Atheist).
Should we live together a few house rules will apply:
1. I will not wash any stained (of ANY kind) underwear
2. It’s nice to have some mystery in the relationship, so I will not look at any weird growth, pimple, moll, oozing thing or wound of ANY kind, that is why we have doctors
3. Farting in bed, and then pulling the covers over my head are grounds for immediate divorce
So PLEASE, PLEASE if anybody is interested let me know. We will be getting married immediately since I am on the verge of suicide in my lonely state. Thank you for your kind consideration.
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