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BadBrett
 
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Porn addicted men

11 June 2014, 11:13

So you think your husband is the exception to the rule?


Yes?


Bad news for you Baby, bad bad news. All men are smut seekers. The problem is you. You are the cause of him surfing for smut all day long.


OK, OK, don't throw the monitor with your coffee mug. Relax, calm down and read on.


You see it all starts once you have given birth to that first little brat you so worship. Kids are the root of all evil in a marriage because if we have to be very honest about this issue it isn't us men that would just about kill to produce any offspring. You girls don't feel complete until you have popped a few of those screaming little monsters out.


Yeh, calm down and read on. Go boil the kettle for another cup of Five Roses and come read further.


You see while you faff around those little manipulators at night is when the Old Goat flees to the computer and searches for juicy figs and big melons. You are so drained by the time you hit the sack that you don't care about the Horny Goat's needs. 


The looming problem for you is that porn leads to eventual infidelity and like it or not, it is all your fault. The only solution is for you to unleash the slumbering Slut within you. We all know it is buried under a thick layer of dust deep down there but the time has come for you to rise from your own mundane ashes and become a goddess once more.


Now...we all know divorce doesn't solve anybody's problems least the problems of those little gorgeous manipulators you produced. Quite the contrary, the little Princes and Princesses just about go to hell and back during divorce. BUT......you can save everybody by unleashing the Bad Girl within.


Being the middle of the week now you can turn your marriage around by the weekend and by this coming Sunday night you will have a sex slave eating from your hand.


Now this is what you do this coming Friday.


Pawn those beloved little monsters off to Granny. Yeh, don't worry, they won't die if they don't have you faffing around them for two days.


But before you drop the heirs and heiresses at Granny you need to do some prep work.


Go to YouTube and download Candy Dulfer's song "Lily Was Here". I'm serious now. Go listen to it first and if it doesn't bring a moist sensation down below you're beyond repair.


Next step. After you have dropped the little wet blankets at Granny you rush home and get rid of all your clothing and do a selfie lying on the bed erotically circling a nipple. Oh come on, stop laughing.


Now you send the selfie to the Old Goat's phone while he is stuck in the traffic. Just make sure you have paid Outsurance because he might hit the car in front of him of shock.


When you hear him drive in at home you place strawberries you bought from Woolies (very important because you don't want ripe rotten strawberries staining the sheets to look as if you slaughtered a sheep on the sheets) all over your naked body while you play the unsuspecting victim Candy Dulfer's song.


He'll enter the room thinking he has died and gone to heaven. As he reaches the bed undo his pants and pretend you are playing the sax with as much passion as Candy Dulfer does.


If you continue being a proper slut the whole weekend you would have cured him from all forms of porn surfing.


Go on, try it. When last have you unleashed the real you?

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