SABC acting chief operations officer, Hlaudi Motsoeneng, has stated that 70% of the news stories to be aired by the public broadcaster, must be of a positive nature.
Maybe I should apply for the post as "Positive News Writer" at the beleaguered, embattled, and besotted SABC. I’ve taken a few random reports, which were published on News24, and put a “sunshine” spin on them – just to make Hlaudi happy.
Pastor jailed for rape
A pastor raped a 16-year-old girl several times on different occasion and later bought her a cellphone.
Well done, Pastor! The girl is very happy with her cellphone!
Mpuma prisoners escape
Two prisoners escaped while being transported to prison, Mpumalanga police said on Friday. The fugitives cut off the steel mesh at the rear window of the bakkie, smashed the glass, and escaped.
The official SAPS bakkie (which is often used as an illegal taxi by members of the police), is still on the road. Passengers have complemented the police for not replacing the window – saying that they enjoyed the fresh air blowing into the overcrowded vehicle.
Some passengers also said that it was now much easier to throw empty beer bottles and KFC containers out the rear of the vehicle.
Great work, SAPS!
4 held for dagga in the Eastern Cape
Three men and a woman were arrested in Dutywa for the possession of dagga, Eastern Cape police said. The four later escaped from custody.
Police were patrolling the area and stopped a bakkie (which had a sparklingly clean rear window: obviously not from Mpumalanga), and searched it.
They found 28kg of dagga with a street value of R28 000.
Using his Sharp laptop computer calculator, SAPS Brigadier General Koos Mthetwa, took just six months (working from his home) to establish beyond reasonable doubt, that dagga was worth roughly R7976.8695/kg on the street.
Well done General!
Prison population at 156 000
“As of 29 August this year, there are 156 700 inmates in our correctional facilities,” Correctional Services Minister Sibusiso Ndebele said.
“The department committed itself to comply with the constitutional requirement to detain inmates under humane conditions.”
The criminals now enjoy a luxurious lifestyle in prison.
Ndebele said correctional services had managed to reduce overcrowding in prisons from 38% in 2007/08, “to 28% as on 30 July this year.”
This was accomplished by allowing those inmates, who were willing to pay bribes, to go free.
Well done, Minister!
Pair guilty of farm murders
Two men have murdered a Parys farmer and his wife earlier this year.
The report said the farmer died of shock due to blood loss after being stabbed.
His wife suffocated after she was tied up and gagged, and put into a freezer while still alive. The report said her murderers packed some frozen meat packets on top of her.
That fact that the murderers didn’t steal the frozen meat proves that South African criminals are considerate and respectful toward their victims.
Well done, you guys!
Man in court for raping baby
A 54-year-old man accused of raping an infant appeared in the Parow Regional Court on Thursday, said the National Prosecuting Authority (NPA) in the Western Cape.
The 4-month-old baby was left in the man's care by its mother on the night of 19 October, while she went out.
This is where I have to draw the line.
I would like to see that bad actor, SABC acting chief operations officer Hlaudi Motsoeneng, put a 70% “sunshine” spin to a story as horrific and appalling as this one.
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