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Reality's tour guide of SA.

20 November 2011, 09:03

Hello world countries, welcome to South Africa, my name is reality and I’ll be your tour guide for the day.


Ladies and Gentle we are now in Hillbrow the capital of Africa, In case you wondering where Nigeria is... well it was relocated to Pretoria. Uhm France could you please stop going down under on Australia, it is highly inappropriate...we have Golf Day and two day stand models to accommodate your lustful behaviour , rather leave the blowing to Afghanistan and Iraq. On your left we have a taxi rank; one of our mobile mortuary for commuters, interested in discovering Heaven or hell.

England could you please give Ireland a strong cup of tea to sober up, alcoholics will be thrown off the bus and can one you developed countries bail out Greece; it’s short on cash for the bus fare. Ok people, right in front of you is Parliament; a prison that houses the most dangerous and corrupt criminals. Due to the ever increasing misuse of public funds by our government, maintenance of the prison could not be continued, so we opted to turn it into a sewage plant.

And right behind you is a group of Individuals In blue…no Belgium! It’s not the Smurfs. As you can see they busy committing arm robberies, racketeering and drug traffic. “Call the cops!” Finland what do you mean by call the cops…those are the cops hard at work. Calm down England! We know your fancy Big Ben watch has stopped ticking, don’t worry you can get a new Tik at our Mitchells Plain gift shop.

Sadly ladies and Gentlemen, our journey has to come to an end; we are out of fuel and due to the mammoth petrol price increase we are unable to continue the trip.

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