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Tyronehster
 
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Reply to Eric de la Vega Castro

10 April 2014, 07:36

From the Desk of Peter Fulton Esq. (OBE) MbHC; PhD;

RE: Eric de la Vega Castro

Dear Sir

I feel it would be a terrible inconvenience for your brother, who is your partner, to come to our offices in Rome, as we are in the process of building a tower block near the Vatican, and it is extremely difficult to get permission, as Pope Francis is such a stickler for etiquette.

However, since our attorneys have gone to all the trouble of drafting the paperwork, and the money is losing value by the day while not being used, perhaps your brother would be good enough to e-mail us your bank details.

As you can no doubt see, and as you informed me yourself, this is a matter of some urgency. Builders are not known to be the most patient people in the world, and it would perhaps not be so easy to retain these builders if the money were not forthcoming.

Did I say this is not a scam? If you look at my nomenclature you will be reassured that someone of my standing would never stoop to something so devious. Why, Queen Elizabeth II would strip me of my knighthood!

As can well be imagined, attorneys do not work free of charge, and the $70 is purely a token of your sincerity, allowing our attorneys to be paid for their diligent work. May I also say, Mr Castro,  that you sound like an astute businessman and not the sort of person who would sully himself with the dirt and rubble of a building site.

Our offices in Hong Kong are, unfortunately, only for Mandarin speakers, and I would not wish your brother to waste his time trying to contact them.

I thank you for your enquiry and trust your $70 is winging its way to our bank account as we, figuratively, speak. And within five hours, you will be $50 000 richer at a low, low interest rate of 2% per annum.

This offer expires in two hours, so I urge you to deposit the money so we may proceed with your loan.

Yours faithfully

PETER FULTON

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